Friday, December 15, 2017

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

I'm closing up shop at Confessions of a Dumb, White Guy until 2018. With Christmas just around the corner and a lot of stuff going on with the Shifleys, I don't think I will have much time for blogging until the calendar turns to January. With that being said, I hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday season and I look forward to blogging with you in the new year. Here are some Christmas toasts to help spread that holiday cheer:
  • A Christmas wish -
    May you never forget
    what is worth remembering
    or remember what is best forgotten.
  • Here's wishing you more happiness
    Than all my words can tell,
    Not just alone for Christmas
    But for all the year as well.
  • May you be poor in misfortune this Christmas and rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends, and rich or poor, slow or quick, as happy as the New Year is long. 
  • May you live as long as you wish, and have all you wish as long as you live.
    This is my Christmas Wish for you.
And it wouldn't feel right if I didn't leave you any Christmas GIFs:

Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, December 08, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - Righteousness

  • I know everyone who visits my blog probably thinks I'm a righteous dude but I must admit that I am not really that cool. Here's exhibit A: Sunday Afternoon in Nampa. I took a bunch of pictures and Google turned it into a nice photo album for me. Nothing says he's awesome like shopping for bar stools and it getting documented forever by a search engine giant.
    Living the dream, people, living the dream.
  • Kyle figured out how to view our wish list on Amazon through his Kindle. Fortunately, we hadn't put any Christmas ideas out there yet but he knew what Hayden was getting for her birthday.
  • Speaking of Hayden, she was working on her thank you videos to family and friends for her birthday presents. Her director also known as Mr. Shife was feeding her lines and I told her to say "Happy Hanukkah" just to be silly. She did and in the next video she made she wished her aunt and uncle a "Happy Harmonica."
  • Speaking of Hayden again, she asked me if I was eating some fudge and I wanted to tell her "Fudge yeah!!!" but another F word came out of my mouth. Man oh man, have I got this parenting thing down or what?
  • Warning - Political topic ... so I guess if Al Franken was a Republican Senator he wouldn't have to resign. 
  • Any ideas on what this is? A little team building exercise at work and this is what we created. It was definitely mentioned that we should keep our day jobs. 

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend and talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, December 01, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - Time Flies

  • Hello, the first day of the final month of the year of our Lord 2017. 
  • This year sort of flew by.  
  • How was your Thanksgiving? 
  • Ours was pretty, pretty good. 
  • It was a busy week for us as we also had someone at our house turn 6.
    Yep, it's official, Little Miss Hayden is now 6. 
  • Here are some pictures to prove it.

  • That sort of flew by too.
  • 6-year-olds named Hayden Shifley are big fans of unicorns. 
  • Here's a link to the video of her getting a giant stuffed unicorn or you can click on the image.
  • She might have gotten a little excited. 
  • So I have an 8-year-old son, 6-year-old daughter, and 1-year-old Frizzle. 
  • And a super hot Mrs. Shife. 
  • All of the above wouldn't be possible without her. 
  • Definitely didn't see this coming after our blind date 20 years ago. 
  • And that time has certainly flown by.
  • Well, that's all for this week. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend and I will talk to you sooner than later.
  • And that's 17 bullet points for those of you scoring at home or even if you're scoring alone. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, November 17, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - Kids Do Say the Darnedest Things

  • A much better week as far as stress goes and thank you for the nice words. But that doesn't mean it was dull around the Shifley household. A few gems out of the mouth of the kids highlighted the week. 
  • First, Hayden looking at Mrs. Shife's box of feminine hygiene products and asking me if the new markers were for her. Based on the image below, I can see how a 5-year-old can make that assumption. Maybe Kotex needs to expand their business model. 
  • Then Kyle saw me and Mrs. Shife giving each other a hug and he asked if we are going to have the sex. Not just sex, but 'the sex.' If I had a beverage in my mouth, I would have done a spit take. Not exactly what I was expecting to hear from my 8-year-old. I wanted to tell him that mommy and daddy are always tired so 'the sex' never happens but thought that was a lesson he can learn when he has children of his own.
  • Besides keeping me on my toes with their questions and observations, they are pretty awesome. Here are their school pictures:

  • In the past, Kyle has looked like death warmed over or a squirrel rave had just ended in his hair so we were pleasantly surprised when we got the pics this year.  
  • Frizzle posed recently as well. She wanted me to see what she would look like as a chocolate lab. The dog loves the mud and water. If there's a puddle of water outside she's going to find out. 

  • And my GIF to you: 

  • Well, that's all for this week, folks. Thanks for stopping by, talk to you soon, enjoy your weekend and I hope you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, November 10, 2017


I don't think I'm alone when I get excited because our dear friend Friday has shown up to let us know that the weekend is here.

I am especially happy to see Friday this week because it has definitely been a week.
  • Mrs. Shife's sister's basement flooded while they were on vacation in Mexico. We were taking care of their house while they were gone.
  • The battery died in one of our cars.
  • The end of daylight savings and beginning of the darkness.
  • My dad had to start chemo treatment again for his Wegener's.
  • Mrs. Shife has a new work schedule so I have to help get the kids off to school twice a week. And just to see if I was really on top of my game, I also had to get my two nieces off to school on one of those days.
  • Planning for the holidays.
  • Planning for Hayden's birthday.
  • Ms. Frizzle got hurt and we had to take her to the vet.
  • I had a dermatology appointment, which always makes me nervous because I have a lot of moles and have had several removed in the past because the doc wanted to be on the safe side. 
  • I had a job interview.
  • I also had 16 hours of Agile training. If you don't know want Agile is then consider yourself lucky. And if you need a cure for insomnia then look up and read all about the Agile manifesto. 
  • Mrs. Shife is getting sick and she's trying to share it with me.
  • Mrs. Shife is leaving me this weekend to spend a weekend with her friends having pillow fights, drinking wine, and eating chocolate. 
  • I got hired by my gym to be a locker room sketch artist and my only clients are old, fat men who insist that they must be naked for their drawings. 
  • Not really. Just seeing if you made it this far. 

Thanks for stopping by. Have a nice weekend and talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, November 03, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - Bassetless in Boise

  • It has been a year now since we had to give up Tank. I never thought I would go a year without a basset but Ms. Frizzle is doing her best to distract me. Her latest trick is sleeping like this:

  • And I am probably going to get in trouble with Mrs. Shife for showing off our TV room with piles of folded laundry everywhere. Well, at least it's folded, right?
  • Halloween was a success. Boba Fett and Mulan scored lots of candy and kept the neighborhood safe from the rebel squirrels. 

  • Now it's November and we have to move onto bigger things like cleaning up the yard. When you live in a placed called the City of Trees, you are probably going to rake up some leaves.  We also live in a house with two young children who would rather make big leaf piles so they can play in them. But they have also seen Frizzle pee on the big leaf piles and are dealing with a dilemma. What will Kyle and Hayden do? Tune in next for the exciting conclusion of "On the Edge of Innocence: Dealing with Dirty Leaves." I need to quit watching Lifetime movies.

  • I couldn't pick just one so I have two GIFs for you this week:

Well, that's all for this week. Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, October 27, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - Kyle the Artist? Chef? Hairdresser?

  • Kyle has added art to his interests and doesn't hurt when you win a 1st and 2nd-place ribbon at school. This has to come from Mrs. Shife's side of the family because I have a hard time drawing a stick figure. Or you can just go to this old blog post to see my artistic talent.  I definitely don't know the definition of talent. But, as biased as I might be, Kyle does appear to have some. What do you think?

  • Kyle also still enjoys being in the kitchen. Here are the cupcakes he helped make for his school's Halloween party. 

  • What's that? One more item about Kyle. OK, if you insist. Well when he's not busy in the kitchen or creating his works of art, Kyle likes to help out Hayden with her hair. In the GIF below, he has Hayden sitting back in the chair with a towel over her face while he gets her hair wet and combs it for her. He's a good kid. And they have their moments but they really, really do love each other a lot. 

  • Any guesses on what Hayden might want for Christmas? 

  • We were thinking about a good Halloween costume for Ms. Frizzle and it dawned on me that she should be a school bus. I mean she's yellow and her name is Ms. Frizzle. And here's a link if you don't remember what the name Ms. Frizzle means. 

  • Well that's is all for this week, folks. Have a good one, thanks for stopping by, and talk soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - I Love AT&T

  • After more than a year, I have finally resolved my billing dispute with AT&T.
    Self-high five.
    I am being conservative with my estimate but I have spent at least 30,000 hours on the phone with them since last September. OK, maybe 30 or so hours. Here's the link if you want to read about me first complaining about their customer service. It's time to celebrate... 
  • The Shifley family got our flu shots last weekend and Kyle and Hayden were less than pleased with the experience. They have been fine with the shots in the past but this year was a big deal. Kyle even decided to leave his stuffed animal in the car because he didn't want Pinkie Pie to see "the horror." The kids made a lot of faces like the girl below and if you want a good laugh, click on the picture and watch her freak out getting her a flu shot.
  • When they weren't busy threatening to sing Justin Bieber songs if they got a flu shot, Kyle and Hayden actually had fun at their first race. They both had to run a half-mile at their future high school. 

  • We went back to Cabela's on Frizzle's anniversary just to see if the people we bought her from were around. We almost came home with another puppy. I said almost. Good thing I hadn't started drinking yet.

  • My GIF to you: 

Thanks for stopping by, have a great weekend, and I will talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, October 13, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - Halloween Is In The Air

  • Halloween is almost here and the kids have finally decided on their costumes. Hayden will be Mulan and Kyle is going to be Boba Fett. Ms. Frizzle is still undecided but she's leaning towards Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz." Maybe she and I can be twins.
  • I'm still in mourning about the U.S. Men's National Team losing to Trinidad and Tobago and not qualifying for 2018 World Cup. That is definitely a sentence I never thought I would have to type. 
  • Kyle and I were pretty excited to see the new "Star Wars" trailer. Kyle was not excited to learn he still has to wait more than two months to see it. He's really going to be bummed when I tell him he has to pay for my ticket. Ha!
  • Happy Friday the 13th. Are you feeling superstitious today? 

  • If you need to check and make sure your tear ducts still work then you should watch this video of an 11-year-old girl getting the news that she's being adopted. 
  • Or you can just watch "This is Us" on NBC. Man, even the commercials they run during this show get to me. 

  • Corny joke of the day: Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.
  • Corny joke of the day #2: A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
  • My GIF to you:

Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, October 06, 2017

Happy Anniversary, Ms. Frizzle

From this:

To this:

We have had the Frizz for a year now.
I think we made a good choice.
Kyle and Hayden think she's #1.

Me and Mrs. Shife are fond of her as well. 
If you click on the image below of Frizzy Poo you will go to a movie that highlights the Frizz's first year of being a Shifley. Or you can click here.

Well, that's all for today. Mrs. Shife thought it would be fun to go to a work conference for three days and leave me along with the kiddos. I am currently at an indoor trampoline park with about 100 of our newest friends and it smells like feet, blown out diapers, and lots of lots of tears. Enjoy your weekend and I will talk to you soon. Thanks for stopping by.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - My Bronie

  • Irrational fear #12,456 - Kyle will turn into a bronie. He has been on a "My Little Pony" cartoon marathon with Hayden recently and I have been wondering if he might grow up to be an adult fan of the show. I don't have to worry about what college he might go to when I have more pressing matters like this on my mind. Actually, I don't why I should worry at all. The bronies seem like really normal, down to earth kind of folks. 
  • Are you surprised I only have 12,456 irrational fears? It was up to 12,457 but I got over my fear of being pursued by wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor this week.
  • It's one of Mrs. Shife's favorite times of the year: the end of softball season. I have been playing roughly for 18 years here in Boise. I know my softball addiction drives her nuts but I am grateful that she lets me play as much I do. 
  • The baseball season mercifully came to an end for me this week. The Cardinals got eliminated from the playoffs by their bitter rivals, the Cubs. The way this year has gone for them it only seems appropriate. Only 138 days until spring training.
  • Is anyone else ready for October? Hard to believe September is just about over.
  • This picture made me laugh.
  • My GIF to you:

  • Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon and have a good week.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, September 22, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - Happy Anniversary

  • Happy anniversary to my lovely wife.
    Mrs. Shife and I are celebrating our 13th.
    It seems like yesterday that I was told to take some shots to calm my nerves before I walked down the aisle to wait for the love of my life.
    That's a true story.
    Friends of the bride saw how nervous I was and made me take two shots to help me become less nervous.
    It worked. I think only fumbled one of my lines. 😅
  • It looks like lace is the gift to give when you hit 13. I found a nice little outfit that I will wear for Mrs. Shife. What color do you think I should get? I'm leaning towards the light blue. I think it will really make my blue eyes pop.
  • We will probably go out for dinner or catch a movie to celebrate. Having someone watch the kids and put them to bed is a pretty darn good present. 
  • Speaking of movies, I was looking for something to watch because Mrs. Shife thought beer and popcorn sounded like a good idea. We have two theaters in town where can enjoy a film and an adult beverage. Unfortunately, most of their choices are not that appealing. I'm still trying to figure out why this theater is giving a VIP 21 experience for the new Lego movie. I mean it makes sense if you can take your kids with you into these special balcony seats but only those 21 or older are allowed.
    "Hey man, you want to go check out the new Lego movie and drink beers at 11:30 in the morning on Saturday. It will be totally awesome."

  • Have you heard of the mad pooper? You're welcome. 
  • And my GIF to you. And you're welcome again.

  • Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend and I will talk to you soon. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, September 15, 2017

Random Acts of Shifeness - So Long Summer

  • I guess summer is over. Woke up this morning and it was barely 50 degrees. It was a shock to the system since we were in 90s earlier this week. 

  • Somebody is ready for fall weather.
    Or she's working on her shiv to take me out later this month. 

  • Kyle and Hayden did get to enjoy one more day at the water park before it closed for the season. 

  • One thing I have noticed with Kyle and Hayden is how they like to spend time together after school. It's not the best picture because I was being sneaky and didn't want them to see me. But one of them will sit on the "cube" and the other one will be in the swing and they just talk. My theory is that really miss each other during the day and reconnect after school. Or they are working with Frizzle on taking me out later this month. 

  • Recommendation of the week: "Red Oaks." It's on Amazon Prime and I really enjoyed it. I guess that's obvious because I probably wouldn't put something I didn't like as a recommendation. I can't quite put my finger on it but it likes a combination of a John Hughes movie like "Sixteen Candles" and a Savage Steve Holland film like "Better Off Dead." A lot of 80s nostalgia. Maybe that's why it grabs me because I was a teenager in the 80s. 
  • Quote of the week: You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. - Evan Esar
  • Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.