Random Acts of Shifeness ... Again

• There's a contact form right over there ------------------------------------------------------->    if you would like to get updates on when my book will be available.

• This will be the last you hear from for about 2 weeks as we will be on vacation when I usually do my blogging. I will miss you. Will you miss me?

• Any guesses on where we will be going? The winner will receive a something awesome like a link to really disturbing picture.

• Hayden is turning into quite the character. She is telling knock knock jokes. They make no sense but it's pretty cute the way she tells it. I can't do it justice so why don't you just check out a video of her doing it:




• Of course Hayden isn't the only one in the family who tells jokes:

• Kyle has also shown an interest in reading so we started him out with some sight word books and he's doing awesome:

• Quote of the week: We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. – Chuck Palahniuk

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend and talk to you later.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Random Acts of Shifeness

• Two more weeks and the Shifleys are going on vacation. Mrs. Shife and I are really looking forward to getting away for a few days.  
• Kyle might have his first crush. He will not sit down on the rug at his preschool for circle time until his friend Calliope has picked her spot. It is pretty darn cute watching him wait as patiently as a 4-year-old boy can for her to sit down. Might have to play him the Brad Paisley song Waitin' On A Woman. 
• My favorite quote of the week: There is more to life than increasing its speed. –– Gandhi 
• Kyle has to bring a d word this week to preschool, and he told me he wanted to bring me. Made my day. At least I hope d is for daddy and not dummy. 
• The kids had to get their flu shots this week, and Kyle told the nurse that he wanted Hayden to go first. I guess he's following the woman and children first philosophy. 
• Have you ever come across someone wearing the same shirt as you? I hardly ever do and just wonder if my fashion sense is that awful. When it's hot, I wear shorts, a t-shirt, and black Chuck Taylors. When it's cold, I wear sweat pants, a flannel shirt, and Doc Martins. Not exactly going to be featured in GQ Magazine but that's how I roll. 
• Does this sword make Tank look fat? Not the most flattering of angles for our basset hound. 

• I posted this on Facebook but had to share here as well. Mrs. Shife's deodorant was recently confiscated by our TSA agents in training. Gotta keep it under 3 ounces. It was way too quiet in the house so I made my rounds and walked in on Kyle and Hayden putting on her deodorant. They smelled wonderful by the way, and Hayden really loved the extra volume it gave her hair. Also, just because I've got a smart phone doesn't mean I know how to get rid of the red eye. Or is it possible they are Terminators in training?

• And more pictures of the kids for no reason at all. I was working with Hayden on saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" when a boy asks her out on a date. And Kyle is smiling because he heard it was Friday. 

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great weekend.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

No Sleep For You

Whoever said "You can sleep when you are dead" can eat a big, fat barrel full of duck butts because they were childless and probably on their 7th beer of the night at a fraternity party.
I love to sleep.
I slept through Christmas as a child.
I slept more than 24 hours once.
I have slept through earthquakes.
I think subconsciously one of the reasons I got a degree in journalism is because you get to sleep in especially if you work in the sports department.
So what has inspired this post devoted to sleep?
Because I'm missing it.
A lot.
It has been rough week
Little Miss Hayden is cutting her last two teeth and isn't happy about it all.
At least I hope that's it.
The TV was on the other day and she did catch a glimpse of Miley Cyrus suggestively riding a wrecking ball and maybe that's what is tormenting her at night.
Don't forget the number one rule of the sleep deprivation game: It's only fun if everyone gets involved.
So not to be outdone by his little sister, Kyle evidently heard a rumor that toy fairies are visiting our home this week and has been up at 5:30 in the morning to see if they stopped by.
Either that or he just knows that I'm really, really, really ridiculously good looking (Zoolander reference) and the only way to make it fair to others is that I have giant, dark circles under my eyes.
Anyway I was feeling inspired to write a no sleep parody but while I was doing my research I ran across this:

An Ode to Sleep-Deprived Parents and Terrorizing Toddlers

O' you terror!

Get down from there!

Mummy's getting cranky...

Put my phone down.

Where are your pants?

What have you done with my purse?

Don't throw those blocks.

What is that smell?

Why do you look so happy?

What's in your mouth?

Who ripped that book?

Why won't you just stop moving?

He's on the chair!

Just standing there!

Wobbling like a drunk man.

Where is my mug?

What was that crash?

Who let you in the kitchen?

You've got a knife!

Put it down now!

Don't wave it near your sister!

Put my phone down.

Where are my apps?

Who dialed triple zero?

Why won't you sleep?

Is it your teeth?

I need another coffee!

My head's so sore!

Look at the floor!

Cleaning will take forever.

What's wrong with you?

What did I do?

Why do you do this to me?

I hope when you... 

Have some kids too...

They drive you crazy!

Thanks for stopping by, and have a nice weekend. And here's a picture of my two angels who I hope let me sleep in tomorrow: 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.