Friday, July 24, 2015

Random Acts of Shifeness the Third

  • Hi there. Are you sick of the randomness yet? 
  • My apologies. I started working full-time and that adjustment with my other responsibilities means other areas like blogging are going to suffer. 
  • The blog isn't going anywhere. I will still keep blogging.
  • But probably not next week. I have to go out of town to help my aunts go through of my grandmother's things. She passed away last August and it has taken a little bit longer than anticipated to go through her house but it's happening now. 
  • Kyle gets to star in a commercial. Okay, star might be a strong word but he's going to be in a commercial. I work for an advertising agency and there was a call for talent so I volunteered my son. He's pretty excited about it and I hope to share the finished product with you as soon as I can.
  • We went on a little day trip last weekend to place called Jump Creek Falls. As you can see from the below images, the kids had a blast. 

  • Assuming of course you don't already know any kickball champions, you can now add "I know a kickball champion" to your friendly banter with whoever you decide to have pleasant bantering with that segues into talk of kickball champions.  I played with a team from work and we took home the championship last night. I'm the little fella in red in case you were wondering. 

  • Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend. Talk to you later.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Random Acts of Shifeness ... Again

  • I usually only do RAOS once a month but today's your lucky day and you get another one. Or perhaps it's your unlucky day and you are cursing my name because you have to read this nonsense again. 
  • Kyle spends a majority of his time playing with his sister. He also spends a lot of time with his cousins, who are also girls. Lots of girl time - which is awesome - but there's one thing that's driving me crazy. He wants to have his hair in pigtails just like they do. I came home from work today and saw this: 
  • It's kind of hard to see because his hair isn't that long but it's right there on top of his head. I think if you click on the picture you will get a better look at his pigtail. I have said nothing even though I really, really want to. I figure if I say something it's just going to make him want to do it more so I zip it. I need to practice so if he comes home and says he likes the Cubs I will not say a word even thought I will be dying inside. 
  • I remember getting a doll and buggy from my grandparents when I was about 5 and my Dad didn't say squat to me even though I know he wanted to give me a giant wedgie and tell me to quit it. I outgrew it and for the most part I turned out OK.   
  • I had to go to the doctor this week because I got bit by a bug and my right forearm got red, puffy, itchy and kind of hurt. Sorry no pictures as the medicine is already working so I don't have any visual proof of my malady. However there is still a large red bump where the bug originally bit me and a co-worker believes it's spider eggs. So I might be pregnant. I will probably register at Target if you feel so inclined. 
  • Kden asked how Tank was doing with his training and I'm happy to report that he's doing great. He seems to be a lot happier with some of the new things we are doing with him or maybe it's because I decided being fat, drunk and stupid is the best way to handle things. Sorry Dean Wermer looks like you were wrong. Seriously, he's doing well and looking forward to being his forever home. Here's a picture of the handsome and husky hound giving me the look saying, "Oh please, pretty please, can I go chase the cat in the school yard? I promise I will listen too." 

  • Well that's all folks. Have a good weekend. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and kisses. Talk soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, July 10, 2015

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Meet the newest members of the Shifley household, Hot Cocoa and Snowball.

  • Hot Cocoa might be getting a name change to Ninja Turtle but Hayden is still undecided so I'm sticking with Hot Cocoa until I hear differently. 
  • The kiddos have been asking for a fish for a long time and they finally did everything we asked of them to earn it so there you have it. I hope we picked two of the toughest Bettas they had in the store because these guys might get neglected but so far the kids have been doing a good job with them.  
  • I wouldn't recommend leaving a bag of ice in the back of your car for 3-4 hours while it's parked in your driveway in July and it's 90 degrees. 
  • Hayden is cast free and so excited because she can know wear a shoe on each foot. And jump. And play soccer. And ride her bike. And run.
  • We went to the store with her dressed in this outfit. It took a lot for me not to have her change because I'm neat and tidy. Even though her shirt and shorts are on backwards, even though her socks of choice were more appropriate for winter, even though her feet are adorned with two different shoes, I did nothing. She was so proud of dressing all by herself and she was happy. 

  • Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy your weekend.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, July 03, 2015

Searching For Answers

I'm learning how to use new software at work and this requires training from the software provider.
Exciting times, right?
Everyone always talks about how thrilling the training is for new software.
Our history books are littered with these kind of anecdotes.
I'm getting way off task.
Back to the story.
I called in for the day's tutoring and this session required that I share my screen with my trainer.
I thought no big deal.
Famous last words.
For some reason, which I still can't figure out, the search feature for the new software autocompleted my searches when I moved the cursor into the search engine.
Of course, it didn't remember when I searched for "How awesome is Mrs. Shife" or "How much I love my wife" or "What does it mean when your poop is green?"
No it remembers this:

Hello, Awkward. Nice to meet you.
The trainer didn't say anything but I know he saw it and I would have loved to know what he was thinking.
I also felt bad that poor Tank Tank got associated with "ate my pants" and "ass pants."
And if you are wondering what the hell I was searching for with those keywords.
Well here you go:

I posted this picture on my blog a few years ago with a comment like "My ass ate my pants" but I couldn't find it and needed to share it with somebody recently so I got on the Google machine to track it down.
That's my awkward story of the week.
You are welcome.
Have a happy and safe Fourth of July weekend celebrating 'Merica.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.