Friday, November 19, 2010

What is Up, Buttercup

Hope all is well in your world. These are currently the top headlines at the Shife household:
  • It would be nice to enjoy the sweet taste of victory after watching football again. Both of my teams (University of Idaho and Arizona Cardinals) are circling the drain so I will be drinking the taint-flavored frappuccino that is designated for losers because they both suck and a win does not look like it will be dropping its panties anytime soon.
  • I made a terrible mistake and accidentally erased a voice mail on my home phone. It was the only recording I had of my Mom so I was pretty upset that I lost it.
  • I had to end my love affair with Mtn. Dew recently. I was just drinking it like they were going to quit making it. I am pretty sure Carrie Underwood is going to write a song about us. Anyway it has been 5 days since my last Dew binge.
  • I have been taught this lesson numerous times since becoming a Dad but for some reason I still don't learn. Just when you think you have your kid figured out they throw you a giant frickin' curve ball just to let you know that they are the ones running the show. Lil' Shife has been sleeping like a champ through the night and all is well in the Shifley manor. Then last night he is up for 4 straight hours and I have no idea what is going on with him. Good times.
  • The Tankster graduates from obedience class tonight. He is the first one from his family to graduate so we are all very excited for him.
  • And Kyle is finally starting to grow some hair so we were able to give him a little bit of a mohawk look.

Friday, November 12, 2010


So this is one of the latest pictures of the Tankster. As you can see he is definitely an overachiever and doing extremely well in his fat basset courses. Someone's trunk has gotten a little bit larger since he moved in with us because he barely cram his furry little butt on the ottoman. He managed to stay in that position for most of the night but eventually gravity won and he had to relocate to a space that was a little more accommodating to his rear admiral.

Someone has been watching too much "Jersey Shore." Kyle decided to sport the vest and hit the town so he could creep on the ladies. He just looks like he is ready to go clubbin' with Snooki and The Situation.

Finally with Christmas just around the corner I thought I would help out some of my faithful blog readers who want to find a very special gift for the man in their life. Nothing will say Happy Holidays like The Tuggie.

Friday, November 05, 2010

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • This is my blog. This is my blog on sleep deprivation. It has been rough sledding for Mr. Shife lately. Lil' Shife has been sick, getting new teeth, sleep training, and learning to live without his binky (pacifier) so he has had some meltdowns in the wee hours of the morning. When I order my second child I will definitely be putting a check next to the sleep box.
  • We want Kyle to be a recreational binky user and not a full-blown binky junkie so we have started having him go to sleep without the comfort of his pacifier. It is safe to say he did not support our decision.
  • And in more binky news. To make matters less than spectacular when we went to story time yesterday the kid sitting next to Kyle was sucking on a binky the whole time like it was the last effin' binky in the whole world, and my little man was just staring him down like it was the last effin' binky in the whole world. He had that look where he just wanted to go snatch the pacifier right out of his little baby mouth. Then to make matters even more less than the spectacular (My English teacher is so happy right now with that sloppy sentence construction), one of the stories was about a baby who lost his binky.
  • Bored. Google Nut Valet.
  • Still Bored. Go to Google Maps and get directions from Japan to China. Check out #43.
  • Oh I love Thursdays because one of my favorite shows is on, "The League." I chuckle out loud when I hear stuff yank bank, fear boner, anticipaterection, and songs by Taco like Ghost Monkey.
  • I found this quote on The Daily Show rather amusing: "John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. It is the highest elected office ever to be reached by an Orange-American." If you have never seen a picture of Boehner he looks like he spends more time in the tanning salon than the cast of The Jersey Shore.
  • Speaking of politics, I really, really detest politicians especially after reading this garbage today. It would be nice if they could act like big boys and actually remembered why they are there in the first place.
  • Am I a sports performance decreasing drug? I swear every time I turn on the TV to watch my football team they instantly start playing like crap, but once I turn it off they do fine.
  • Well have a lovely weekend, and I will talk to you later. Here is a picture of someone ready to go for a ride. I am pretty sure he wanted to go to the police station to file a report that someone stole all of his binkies.