Friday, July 03, 2015

Searching For Answers

I'm learning how to use new software at work and this requires training from the software provider.
Exciting times, right?
Everyone always talks about how thrilling the training is for new software.
Our history books are littered with these kind of anecdotes.
I'm getting way off task.
Back to the story.
I called in for the day's tutoring and this session required that I share my screen with my trainer.
I thought no big deal.
Famous last words.
For some reason, which I still can't figure out, the search feature for the new software autocompleted my searches when I moved the cursor into the search engine.
Of course, it didn't remember when I searched for "How awesome is Mrs. Shife" or "How much I love my wife" or "What does it mean when your poop is green?"
No it remembers this:

Hello, Awkward. Nice to meet you.
The trainer didn't say anything but I know he saw it and I would have loved to know what he was thinking.
I also felt bad that poor Tank Tank got associated with "ate my pants" and "ass pants."
And if you are wondering what the hell I was searching for with those keywords.
Well here you go:

I posted this picture on my blog a few years ago with a comment like "My ass ate my pants" but I couldn't find it and needed to share it with somebody recently so I got on the Google machine to track it down.
That's my awkward story of the week.
You are welcome.
Have a happy and safe Fourth of July weekend celebrating 'Merica.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Thursday, June 25, 2015


I called a friend of mine recently and it didn't go well.
My buddy travels a lot for his job so there's a possibility that he could be out of the country when I give him a call.
It has never been a problem before.
But that all changed on Tuesday.
We are both busy with our families and work so we don't get to hang out as much as we used to but we try to get together at least once every few months to hang out and discuss the trials and tribulations of our lives.
It had been a few months so I thought it was time to make a date.
I called him at 2:18 pm Boise time.
Why so specific?
Well you will find out in about eight poorly structured sentences.
So I called him.
The phone rang a few times.
Then I heard a groggy "Hello."
I replied with a "Hello?"
And he replied with another groggy "Hello."
Then it dawned on me what I did.
But I held out hope that maybe I caught him napping at his desk at work.
"Please tell me that you are not out of the country and I just woke you up," I said.
"I'm in China," he said. "And it's 4:18 in the morning."
Ut oh. I'm in trouble.
Then my self-defense system of being a smart ass kicked in.
"So this isn't a good time to talk?" I said.
"I'll be back home Friday," he said.
I thought about calling him back in 10 minutes and saying sorry but I am thinking the apology would not have been well received.

Sometimes it's just not your day.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Hayden update: She got a cast on June 10 and we are hopeful that when we go back to the doctor's office on June 30 that she will be all healed up. They were able to give her a waterproof cast so she can do swim lessons, which was awesome news for her because she was really looking forward to them. 
Of course she picked a purple cast.

  • I am still not completely recovered from running the Sawtooth Relay last weekend. We had to get up at 1:30 in the morning on Saturday and drive to a place called Stanley so we could start the race at 4:15 am. The relay was 60 miles long and my team finished in about 10 hours and 15 minutes. It was a lot of fun and I look forward to doing it next year. 

Proof that I ran. And I don't look too upset that I'm running at 7 in the morning. 

 Here's the shirt I wore for the race. Meow power. 
  • Kyle is super excited about Monday because he will be going to camp for the first time. Nothing overnight. We are not there yet. But he will get to spend 3 half-days learning all about robots and how to make one all by himself. Well as much as can be expected from a group of 6-8-year-olds. It's pretty amazing the stuff they offer little people these days. Also pretty amazing what parents will pay for their little people. 
  • I'm still in mourning about the season final of "Game of Thrones." I will not spoil it but I am still pretty mad that a certain someone met his demise. There's no one left. Like someone mentioned on Twitter or Facebook, "Game of Thrones" is going to start killing people off on other shows. 
  • A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
  • Not the best segue but Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Enjoy your day.
  • Hope all is well in your corner of the world. Talk to you later. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, June 12, 2015

Gone Running

With Hayden's accident last week I forgot to mention I will be out of town this weekend because I am doing this, Sawtooth Relay.
Wish me luck.
Talk to you when I get back.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, June 05, 2015

Bones Break

How do you slow down Hayden?

a) Broken foot
b) Team UmiZoomi cartoon marathon
c) Animal tranquilizers
d) Wedgie
e) Duct tape

Any of the above answers are acceptable but on this particular day, we are going with a) Broken foot.
Hayden jumped out of a tree.
And the tree won.
Well the actually the ground won.
She went all in too and got her money's worth.
She broke the second, third, fourth and fifth metatarsal bones.
She's in a splint until the swelling goes down and then a cast early next week.
It's going to be an interesting weekend because she is supposed to keep weight off her foot so that should be fun to try and keep her still.
Plus she will not be able to do her swim lessons or gymnastics for at least 4 weeks.

And Tanklin had to join in the fun by photo bombing the picture.
Thanks for stopping by.
Have a nice weekend.
Talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Memorial Day Weekend 2015

Hi there.
I'm back.
I thought about joining a cult but I just couldn't get behind their vacation schedule.
How was your Memorial Day weekend?
Ours wasn't too bad.
I even have photographic proof.
We went over to the Seattle area for a wedding and ... well I'll just let the pictures do the talking.

We stopped halfway to Seattle the first night to visit family and Kyle & Hayden decided a fort was the best option for sleeping that night. And yes I bought a sticker to turn my Apple icon into Batman.

Hayden was happy to smile and show everyone how much ice cream didn't make into her mouth.

The highlight of the trip for Kyle was zip lining at the park. Just look at the smile on his face.

Kyle and Hayden all dressed up and ready to go to the wedding. 

The whole dang family. If you look closely you can see Kyle isn't feeling too good and this is just a few moments before he set the Memorial Day Weekend Wedding Reception Record for most trips to the bathroom.

After setting the record, Kyle called it a night in Mrs. Shife's arms. We are not sure if he caught a stomach bug or had some food poisoning but the poor guy must have gone to the bathroom at least 15 times. He has had better days. 

Hope all is well. Thanks for stopping by and talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, May 15, 2015

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • We met with the new trainer to work with Tank Tank and so far so good. She thinks Tank is stressed out because our home has a lot of high-energy thanks to Kyle and Hayden so we need to help him relax by letting him have some quiet time. When things get a little hectic, we will give him one of his favorite bones and let him hang out in our bedroom. There are a few other things we need to do but right now that's where we are at.
  • I was listening to a podcast where they were discussing their top 10 movies of 2014 and it dawned on me that I don't even think I saw 10 movies in 2014. 
  • Have you been to Prince Edward Island? Well it looks like it got a rise out of this guy. You might have to click on the photo to see it but it appears that the man on the cover of this travel brochure has a boner. Read all about it here. I guess if your trip to the beach lasts longer than 4 hours then you should contact a physician. 

  • Another one of my favorite shows is coming to an end. Bye bye to "Mad Men." I'm really looking forward to the finale but will miss not having Don Draper around. 
  • How about a silly joke?  Three ducks walk into a bar.The first duck walks up to the bar and the bartender asks, "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" The first duck replies, "My name is Bill, I'll have a rye and coke, and I had a GREAT day! I was in and out of puddles all day! Splashing around, gettin' wet, having fun!" The second duck walks in. The bartender asks the duck, "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?"The duck says, "My name's Joe, I'll have a gin and tonic, and I had a GREAT day! I was in and out of puddles all day! Splashing around, getting wet, having fun!" The third duck walks into the bar, the barkeeper asks him, "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" The duck looks him dead in the eyes and replies, "My name is Puddles, I'll have three shots of tequila, and I don't want to talk about my day."
  • What are you doing for the Memorial Day weekend? We are taking both of the kiddos to a wedding. Should be interesting. Wish us luck. 
  • Speaking of Memorial Day, we have a lot going on besides the wedding so I will not be blogging next week. 
  • See ya in two weeks. Have a good one and thanks for stopping by. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.