Friday, July 13, 2018

Vacation Blues

We were out of town last week for a vacation in Donnelly, Idaho. 
It's about 2.5 hours north of Casa de Shifley.
Getting back into the swing of things this week hasn't been an easy transition. 
At least for me.
I really enjoyed the time away. 
I have been eating way too many sweets to help me cope. 

And maybe some crying in the shower.

It's not going well. 

Maybe I am missing the sweet, sweet 'stache? Yes, it's gone. This is one of the last times it graced my face. I think Hayden knew I was going to shave it off and that's why she looks so very ecstatic.

Maybe I'm missing spending all day with these two characters? 

Maybe I'm missing spending all day with the mother of the characters? 

Maybe I'm missing start a fire when it's 100 degrees outside?
OK. Let's be honest, I wouldn't say I am missing this one. 

Maybe I'm missing seeing Hayden pose for me after she enjoyed a s'more? 

Maybe I'm missing having ice cream in the after lunch?

Maybe I'm missing spending the afternoons on the water?
Kyle and Hayden weren't too upset to try out the boat slide. 

Maybe I'm missing taking naps whenever I felt like it? 

Maybe I'm missing going on "serious hikes" with these two? They definitely had their game faces on. The woods were not prepared for what they saw that day. 

Looking forward to our next vacation and some new maybes. 

Take care. Thanks for stopping by and I will talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, June 29, 2018


Notice anything about the picture? 
Frizzle has her eyes closed and I am rocking a super*, sweet*, sexy* Shifley 'stache (SSSSS). 
One of these things has never happened before. 
The below picture should help you narrow it down. 

I believe we have 3 photos of Frizzy with her eyes closed.
It makes me laugh out loud whenever I see her do this. 
Maybe it's because Mrs. Shife or I have a history of one of us having our eyes closed in pictures.
Let's get back to the SSSSS.

Isn't it glorious? 
It's my first time growing one and I think I might keep it forever.
Actually, it will probably be gone before 'Merica celebrates its birthday.

The beautiful and talented Mrs. Shife isn't a huge fan so she will probably impose some tariffs on me if I don't take care of the SSSSS. 
Have a wonderful weekend, a fantastic 4th of July and thanks for stopping by. 

*I might not completely understand the meaning of these words. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, June 22, 2018

What did you say?

I ran across something today that reminded of the above scene in "The Princess Bride." 

  • No, I am not ready for tasty nut butter. And adding "creamy" as a selling point is only making it worse. Why no love for nut butter? Well, when I was a younger man, nut butter ( I will let Urban Dictionary deliver the news to you) meant something entirely different and I don't think I have gotten over that definition. So sorry Clif Bar but you going to have to peddle your tasty and creamy nut butter to someone else. 
  • Seeing an ad for "nut butter" reminded me of cornhole. What do you think of when you hear the word, cornhole? 

This ⬆️ or this ⬇️

  • I lean more towards the great cornholio because cornhole meant your butthole when I was in school and I would let Urban Dictionary tell even more about it but I would like to remain friends. I chuckle like an idiot whenever someone mentions that they would like to play a game of cornhole. 
  • And I really don't think I need to go into great details with this last photo I ran across today. A Google search of double entendre and advertising produces some winners. Try it out. 

Have a great weekend. Thanks for stopping by and I will talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, June 15, 2018

I Have Feelings

Feeling lots of love seeing two of my favorite people sleeping on the couch.

Feeling like Kyle might be playing more tennis in the future. He really liked tennis camp.

Feeling like Hayden might be going to more basketball camps. She really liked dressing up in the school colors and she told me she can pass, shoot and score so she's a triple threat on the court. 

Feeling a little punny.

Feeling really ornery when I added a response to a message on our vending machine at work.

Feeling like Snickers finally understands me.

Feeling like I need to wish all the dads out there a Happy Father's Day.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend and I will talk to you soon. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, June 08, 2018

Eat, Drink and Be Murray

Kyle and I watched "Ghostbusters" and "Ghostbusters II" this week.
And it was good.
I hadn't watched the original "Ghostbusters" in a long, long time so it was fun watching it with my favorite 9-year-old.
The best part of the experience was when we both giggled a lot at one scene.
I will share it with you:

Did you laugh too?
Or is this just a Shifley boy thing?
I was a little surprised at how much Kyle laughed because I thought it would be a little much for him but he laughed right on cue.
Mrs. Shife and I are also careful about how much exposure he gets to this sort of language and remind him that since he's not an adult, he can't talk like this. 
It's a fine line these days since vulgarity and curse words seem to be more the norm. 

As much as I loved having a moment with Kyle during "Ghostbusters," I had a much better time watching "Ghostbusters II" with him because he gave me the greatest compliment he has ever given me during our time together. He watched the following scene: 

Then said this: 
"He reminds me of you, Dad." 
I paused the movie and said, "What?"
"Venkman (Bill Murray's character) reminds me of you."
"Are you kidding me right now, Kyle?" I said. "That is the most amazing thing you have said to me." 
And I then rushed into the bedroom to tell Mrs. Shife the news. 
Bill Murray has always been one of my favorites ever since I watched "Stripes" so to hear my son tell me what he told me was pretty awesome. 
Yes, again, this blog post is all about me and my needs. =)

Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, June 01, 2018

School's Out: 2018 Edition

Kyle mustache you ask a question. It is hairy important. Please don't shave it for later.
Can you believe he's now a 4th-grader? And Hayden is a 1st-grader?
Yes, it's true. School is officially out for the summer.
Wish Mrs. Shife and I luck as we no go into survival mode and try to make it to August 20th.

Thanks for stopping by. I will talk to you soon. You are the best. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, May 25, 2018

It's Getting Hot in Here

I accidentally invented a new activity: hot napping.
Think of it like hot yoga but you are unconscious.

It’s not the most ideal way to take a nap, but there are worse.

I was tired and needed a nap and I decided to let Hayden watch cartoons instead of playing outside because I am the best daddy ever.
Her words, not mine.
Just to set the record straight, I am also the worst daddy ever when I say no to cartoons.
While she was learning about the latest shenanigans that Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash and Applejack were getting into at Ponyville, I was sprawled out on the couch underneath a blanket and ready to recharge.

After being unconscious for about 10 minutes, I was abruptly awakened from my mid-afternoon slumber because I was sweating like a squirrel on a griddle without his special griddle dancing shoes. 

Naturally, I blamed the blanket for my rise in body temperature and sent it on its way.

A few minutes later the sweating continued and I proclaimed:
“What in the wide world of fudge is going on!!”
I went through my mental checklist to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary:
  • Did we recently move to the Sun?
  • Am I in a sauna?
  • Am I going through puberty?
  • Am I going through menopause?
  • Was I getting an early onset case of World Cup fever?
  • Am I going through heroin withdrawals? 
  • Maybe I was dreaming about being a fitness instructor at a popular gym in the 80s and John Travolta wanted to interview me? (If you know this reference, then a big high-five to you)
  • Was I a graduate history student unwittingly caught in the middle of an international conspiracy involving stolen diamonds and being interrogated by a Nazi war criminal? (If you know this reference, then you, as Jeff Spicoli might say, are: Awesome! Totally Awesome!)

Nothing out of the ordinary except for the nice case of swamp butt I picked up during my short snooze fest.
As the realization crept in that I was getting no more sleep, I sadly sat up from my unsatisfactory attempt at some sufficient shut-eye.
However, this new vantage point was quite enlightening as I learned what led to the demise of my afternoon siesta.
When Hayden was grabbing the TV remote from the remote drawer, she accidentally turned on our electric fireplace and cranked it up to dragon mode.

The fireplace is a few feet away from the couch and it can really churn out the heat especially when it’s a warm, spring day.   

So when “hot napping” becomes the next big thing you can tell everyone you know how it all began.

Thanks for stopping by, talk soon and enjoy the Memorial Day weekend.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, May 18, 2018

Random Acts of Shifeness - Labrador Lessons

  • Sorry about the lack of words in last week’s post. We had some visitors for Mother’s Day weekend and it got a little busier around the house than I expected.
  • And here's Hayden with one of the visitor. Finn came for a visit and kept Ms. Frizzle pretty busy. He's the same age as Frizzy and they love to play. They also love to get as wet as caninely possibly and then get as much of it all over their humans. It's the best. 

  • Finn is pretty good about staying dry but he will follow Frizzle and then it's like I signed them up for synchronized swimming lessons. Here's a GIF of Frizzle playing in a sprinkler. I purposely took her to this area of the schoolyard because the sprinkler was barely on and I didn't think the Friz would mess with it. Another labrador lesson learned. She plopped and flopped and was wetter than a sea otter's pocket.

  • Kyle performed at a fundraiser for TRICA (Treasure Valley for Children's Arts) and things went pretty well. So well that Kyle got hoisted up by the TRICA director after their performance. One of the advantages of only weighing about 55 pounds.

  • Kyle has been pretty busy. He was also part of a LEGO rocket build at our local library. The rocket was so big that they had to remove a ceiling tile to get the last piece on the ship. 

  • Well that's is all for today, folks. Thanks for stopping by. Hope all is well and I will talk to you sooner than later. Take care.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 


Friday, May 11, 2018

Happy Mother's Day 2018

Hopefully, you can relate to one of the visual aids and you have a wonderful Mother's Day.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, May 04, 2018

T is for Tired

Where's that white flag?
Sweet Lincoln's mullet, I am tired.
Mrs. Shife left yesterday to go to a continuing ed conference and I am all alone.
Things were going pretty well until bedtime.
Kyle and Hayden decided they wanted to sleep in my bed and that was an adventure.
I felt like I was fighting Mike Tyson with all the body blows and head shots I got during the evening.
Oh, and Ms. Frizzle was in the bed also.
And she's a blanket hog.

She lays on top of them and then spreads herself out like she's in the final round of Twister.
Unless you keep your Craftsman 2-1/2 ton floor jack under the nightstand in the bedroom, you aren't getting the blankets back.
But there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
I took the afternoon off today so I thought I could probably squeeze in a nap before the kids get home from school.
Then I forgot that we were watching Nash, the almost 1-year-old golden doodle, today.
You remember Nash, right?
The last time we watched him we had an awkward moment with Kyle dry-humping pillows.
Feel free to read all about it right here.
I'm not going anywhere.
And you're back.
I tried napping but Frizzle and Nash are about as subtle as a fart in a crowded elevator.
They have been going at it the minute Nash walked through the door and it doesn't like it's going to end anytime soon.

It's like they know I want to take a nap and once I start to doze off then it's ... 
Knock down something.
Lick private parts.
Hear Mr. Shife use new and exciting cuss words.
Repeat until evening.
Happy Friday, everybody.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.