Seven Days in June

• Even though it's a good description of today's blog post, I wasn't sure about the title because my mind took a trip to the gutter and made me think it could also be the title of a coming-of-age porno as some young man learns all about the lovemaking from a lustful lady named June during a week of forbidden passion. I really need to see a therapist. 

A lot has happened since we talked last week. Let's catch up:

• Friday: Reunited with some college buddies and drank way too much.
• Saturday: Woke up to my phone ringing at 6 in the morning as Mrs. Shife was inquiring where I might be. Turns out that I took a longer than expected nap in my car. I should have taken a cab or Uber home but ended up just sleeping in the car. Here's a bulldog doing a terrible reenactment of me passing out, errrrrrrr, sleeping.

• Sunday: Happy Father's Day! I found out that I was the World's Greatest Dad. I was a little surprised because I knew I was the World's Most Average Dad but I was shocked when Kyle and Hayden told me I was the greatest. 
• Monday: Hayden made some new friends over the weekend, but had a hard time remembering their names. She did what Hayden does and called one "Pink" and one "Purple." Those were the colors of the outfits that her new friends were wearing. She cracks me up. 
• Tuesday: We had to take Kyle to the optometrist because he was complaining about his eye being tired. Turns out he needs glasses and is far-sighted. He was actually excited about getting glasses but this picture doesn't really convey those emotions as he was a little out of it from getting his eyes dialated. He told me that he likes his glasses because "they are red and very comfortable."

• Wednesday: Work was a little crazy on this day. I drank three Red Bulls to deal with it. Not one of my best ideas. Fortunately, I was able to control my bodily fluids ... barely. 

• Thursday: Discussed the pros and cons of R2D2 and BB8 with Kyle as he wants to spend his life savings on a Star Wars robot, and isn't sure which one he wants. I think we flipped a quarter 77 times. He's still undecided. And we also had to explain to him why he couldn't wear his sandals to his chef's camp next week. It always amazes me at what he get attached to and right now it's wearing sandals and nothing but his sandals.

Well that's all for this week, folks. Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Random Acts of Shifeness

• Kyle helped get the week off to an interesting start as he was sleepwalking and thought me and Mrs. Shife's bedroom was the bathroom. Props to the little man for getting up to take care of business, but we are going to have put some exit signs in the highway to help get him to the bathroom. 
• When he wasn't busy pissing on our bedsheets, Kyle was busy in the kitchen and making some art. He really likes helping out in the kitchen and made a salad for dinner the other night, and that photo is below. He also likes painting and put together a pretty cool one, which is also below. I'm not sure what the future holds for Bunga, but I'm glad he already has a few things that make him happy.

• Tank is awesome, but he has a problem. He sheds a lot. We have tried everything under the sun to help curtail it a little bit, but nothing has worked. Our groomer finally talked us into shaving him and it was quite shocking to see Tanklin the first time after his bassillian. And as you can see from the first picture, he was super thrilled with his new look. The groomer thought he would be good to go through the summer and then we could get him another haircut in the fall. Well fast forward to present day in Idaho, and guess who needs another haircut? I don't know what superhero DNA the basset got when it came to fur but he surprised everyone at the groomers when he came in full of fur again. But I wouldn't have it anyway other with Tank Tank because I love that husky hound. 

• Well that's all for this week. Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon. And here's a picture of the kiddos enjoying their summer vacation. The jammies are staying on a lot longer these days.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Hayden's Happiest of Days

Thank the fat bassets I have two interesting children or this blog would have come to a screeching halt a long time ago as I am not that interesting any more.
It feels like I have a taken a survive and advance mode lately.
Survive the day.
Mostly survive until bedtime and then I can enjoy a sweet, sweet adult beverage and maybe catch up on some TV, then advance to the next day.
However, today is one of those days that you really want to savor because Hayden had one of her best days ever.
Granted she's only been around for 4 years, which limits her best days ever experience, but today was a day that she had been waiting on for a long time.
She got to play soccer.
She was supposed to play last year, but broke her foot right as summer started and we had to cancel her summer soccer activities.
Not this year as we are all systems go.
And the proof is in the pictures of how this was a good day for Little Miss Hayden.

Looks like a pretty happy girl to me.
I also need to share a recent conversation we had while she was looking at stuffed animals on the web: "Hey Daddy this one is as a cute as a bunny riding a unicorn."
She's awesome, and I'm grateful that she had her best day ever.







I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

536 Words Mostly About Kyle

That's my boy.
Evidently his aunt knows the secret to get him to actually smile for a picture because me and Mrs. Shife usually get the look below when we take his picture. Maybe they are just embarrassed because their father looks like a photo bombing pervert.
Man I totally look like Chester in this one.

Well good news Mr. Rosewater as it's another week of Kyle news.
He had a pretty big week and I wanted to share all of it.

• On Sunday, he drank his first beer. Yes, I am one step closer to getting my 2016 outstanding parent recognition award from child protective services. We went to a Memorial Day picnic that had a keg and there were a bunch of red kegger cups left at a table that still had beer in them. Kyle was sitting at the table eating some food and needed to wash down his meal with a delicious drink. He looked inside the red kegger cups and thought it was apple juice. He took a drink and then immediately regretted his decision as he spit it out. He told me it tasted horrible. 
• On Monday, we had a good laugh because I remembered the joke he made back when he was a younger dude. The link is right here if you are interested - http://www.mrshife.com/2013/01/l-is-for-laughter.html - and it involves recycling and a garbage can. 
• On Tuesday, he told me how babies are made. 

It's a little tough to read and I have to make some assumptions because he hasn't quite mastered the art of spelling but this is what I think he wrote:

How to make a person. First, you need a boy and a girl. Then you have to get more weed and then the girl has to get a shot and then the baby will start to grow and the baby will come out some day.

I know it's troubling, right? What a run-on sentence. I might have to ground him. =) 

I haven't asked him yet, but I'm not sure why you have to get more weed. I assure you it's not marijuana because unless he's heard some stuff on the playground, I don't even think he knows that word and Mrs. Shife and I don't partake. 

Just interesting seeing how things get made from the perspective of a 7-year-old. 

I just got confirmation from Kyle that he was trying to spell married. 

Now it's really funny. Oh my. 

• On Wednesday, he got to finally watch "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" and he was pretty excited to see it. I was also excited as I got to watch it with him. He did get a little upset over one scene and I will not spoil yet for you if you haven't seen it, but if you have seen it then you can probably guess as it was towards the end involving Han Solo.
• On Thursday, he wrapped up 1st-grade and is now on summer vacation. He's going to keep busy with swim lessons, junior chef's cooking camp and a Star Wars Jedi camp. 

That's all for this week. Thanks for stopping by.


I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.