Friday, December 17, 2010

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

It is hard to believe it is that time of the year again but when I go jogging in my sports bra I am definitely reminded it is December. Just want to wish you and yours a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. I will see you in 2011, and until then remember, not on the rug, man.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

If I Had One Wish

Maybe it is because it is the holidays or maybe it just is one of those days, but whatever the case might be I am missing my Mother. Sometimes I just cry and sometimes I write and sometimes I share what I write. Well today I am sharing. It is what it is, and the Dumb, White Guy blog is a little melancholy today but I have to put this out there. I don't mean to bring you down but for me to have to happiness I must also deal with the sadness, and I am using this forum to express myself.

If I had one wish
Would I wish for you to be here with me one more day?

If I had one wish
Would I wish for you to be here with me one more day to meet your grandson?

If I had one wish
Would I wish for you to be here with me one more day to meet your grandson and see how your love will never end?

But if I had just one wish
I know what you would say, “Don’t worry I am with you and Kyle every day.

So if I had just one wish
I would give it to someone else’s son because Mother you made all my wishes happen.

Here is a picture of my Mom with my nephew and sister. My nephew at the time would roughly be about the same age as my little man so it is a picture that I think about a lot when I am missing my Mom because I think that could be me and Kyle with her.

Friday, December 03, 2010

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Happy Thanksgiving. Oh wait that was last week. I need a time machine. For the love of fat bassets I really need to get it together. Don't worry about me, I'm just gonna go make a little macaroni and cheese, seal the windows, and turn on the gas. Well I hope you had a lovely holiday and all of your turkey day wishes came true.
  • Nothing like feeding my son a hot dog 2 weeks past its expiration date and then having him barf it all up in the middle of Target to make me feel like I am doing an outstanding job as a parent. I don't think Kyle will be getting me that World's Greatest Dad mug anytime soon.
  • Never underestimate the importance of grammar. Thanks to Yellow Dog Granny for bringing this to my attention. Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."
  • Joke of the day: Every day, a male co-worker would walk up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhale a big breath of air and tell her that her hair smells nice.
    After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
    The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
    The woman replies, "Its Keith, the midget."
  • I shared this on Facebook but some of you don't do Facebook or don't do me on Facebook.
    I don't know what the normal addiction rate is but Kyle held out for 20 months before he succumbed to the powers of Elmo mania. The little man is a full-blown junkie and I am his dealer.
  • Saw this headline on the Discovery News, Teenage Great White Sharks Have Weak Bite. Definitely one of those things where I will take their word on it.
Here is the Shifley crew at this year's Thanksgiving. We hadn't eaten yet so that is why our pants still fit.