Friday, November 29, 2013

For The Love of Fat Bassets, I'm Turning Into A Lazy Blogger

I'm not sure but that might be the longest title ever for one of my posts.
With Hayden's birthday last week, Thanksgiving this week, still being in the grips of the plague, and potty training (Yes, we've gone all in with Hayden and hoping to be a diaper-free home soon), I'm resorting to visual imagery once again to update my blog.

The karate kid. Kyle recently started taking classes, and I think I'm going to have to wear cup around the house as he might practice one of his kicks on me. Tank has also been a little nervous whenever Kyle puts on his uniform.  

Hayden loves the Mouse so when she saw these nuggets at Costco she got a little excited. I just feel really silly asking her if she wants mouse nuggets for lunch.  

Kyle has a new bunk mate. Tank has started sleeping on the bottom bunk in Kyle's room at night. This makes me smile a lot because when I was much younger and had my bunk bed I shared it with one of my beloved bassets, Higgins.  

Buried underneath that pile of blankets is Hayden. We said goodbye to the crib and got herself a big girl bed. She is growing up way too fast. 

My spam folder is extremely confusing. 

Kyle grew his mustache for November.  

And a picture of the kiddos from our family picture shoot. They clean up pretty well. 

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and you have a great weekend.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Happy Birthday Hayden!!

Hello Hayden. 
It’s me your daddy, or the guy who lets you watch way too many Minnie Mouse cartoons. Remember it’s our secret so don’t tell your mother. Are we cool? Cool. Well today is your very special day so I wanted to wish you a happy birthday and tell you why you’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.

You have changed me in so many ways during the past two years. I love how I get to start each day with you and how it’s an absolute joy watching you grow, learn, laugh, and play. You just light up our little part of the world. However, there’s one part of our world that we need to work on Little Miss Hayden. Your brother and I could probably go the rest of our lives without getting another bite on the butt from you. I know you get frustrated and angry because you can’t always express your feelings but chomping down on our asses is not the solution. Let’s work on that McStuffins. 

I never imagined being your dad would bring me such happiness. I probably would’ve started sooner if I had known but I dragged my feet into fatherhood, and resisted it for as long as possible because I didn’t think it was something I wanted to do.  Eventually, I was won over, and after your big brother Kyle was born, I thought this is cool but I’m good. One and done works for me. 

What an idiot I was for thinking that. 

Life would never be the same without you Hayden, and I’m just glad your momma talked some sense into me. She is one smart lady by the way, and beautiful and awesome too so that’s where you get it from in case you were wondering. 

Below is a little video I made about you to share with our family and friends. I’m not sure how long it will be available since there are ton of copyright issues with me using the song “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz without his permission. (Pretty please, Mr. Mraz?)

So what’s the deal with the song? 
It’s probably not the first song that people would dedicate to their 2-year-old daughter but it spoke to me because – as I mentioned – I wasn’t sure how I felt about becoming your dad. I know that sounds horrible, but I was afraid, nervous, hesitant, and not sure I could handle being responsible for another little person. 

Then I met you, and once again I was reminded how much of an idiot I was for thinking that I only wanted one kid. You will learn that your daddy has a pretty strong moron gene, and he’s an idiot quite often. 
Hearing the words “It’s a girl” and seeing you for the first time opened up my heart, my mind, and I was simply and completely in love with you. You were 15 days late but so worth the wait, and I just want you to know that I’m yours, Hayden Belle. 

I love you to the moon and back,


P.S. Don’t eat the yellow snow!!

P.S.S. I don’t want you to grow up too fast but I can’t wait to watch “The Princess Bride” with you because it’s awesome just like you!!

Friday, November 15, 2013

Another Pixel Parade

Just listening to some beats and by beats I mean an audio book about dinosaurs at his pre-school. He's a cool dude. 

Happy birthday Tank. The 5-year-old basset got a new bed. He seems to thinks it's okay. 

This is a picture of my lawnmower blade. Our mower has a mulcher feature so I was taking care of the leaves in our backyard when I ran over a rather large rock and absolutely mangled it. Kyle had left some big rocks in the yard and they were hidden in all of those leaves. Well I found them.

Hayden is taking after her old man and trying to stop objects with her body. She attempted to head butt our rope swing with her cheek and lost. It looks like she has a lipstick kiss on her cheek. I tried to tell her it's not a wise thing to do and showed her the picture of my leg after it tried to stop a quickly moving softball. 

Evidently Kyle wasn't being challenged enough by his puzzles so he decided to mix about 4 of them together to take it to the next level. I had a lot of fun trying to sort them back together. 

I hope you can see clearly enough in this picture but that is what's left of Hayden's binky. She bit the top of it off and I hope she's ready to give them up soon before I have to be the bad guy and take the rest of her binks away. 

Kyle and Hayden cruising in Vegas on a quad. They always have a great time when we go down there and this picture pretty much sums it up. 

Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful weekend.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, November 08, 2013

Accident-Free Workplace

And by accident I mean no one getting a visit from America's least loved Care Bear,  Diarrhea Bear. For almost two weeks now, at least one person in this household has not been lovin' it when it came to going numero deuce. The reigning Shifley loose stools champion is Little Miss Hayden, and she's taking it to a whole new level with her gravity-defying poop. Her shit is magical. Sorry Sir Issac Newton but you didn't have the pleasure of living with a nearly 2-year-old girl with diarrhea because otherwise you would've never said, "What goes up must come down." 
Check it out Ike. 
Hayden was standing on a chair in the dining room when she informed us that she pooped. I lifted up her shirt to assess the damage and there was a wall of doo doo going up her back. 
How does this happen? 
She was standing up, crapped, and somehow half of the fecal matter ended up not in her diaper. 
Did her poop decide to go on an adventure? 
"Screw it. We're going to be bold and daring. We're going where no poop has gone before. Yee Haw!"
Whatever the case might be, I'm glad the Diarrhea Bear has gone on to terrorize another household with its amazing poop performances. 
And in other Shifley family news, I'm glad to report that we've also been a Velociraptor-free workplace so we have that going for us, which is nice. 

Thanks for stopping by. Be excellent to each other.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Dragonfly Warrior

My blogging buddy and fellow St. Louis Cardinals' fan Jay Noel is self-publishing his book, and I volunteered to help spread the word about this awesome achievement. Congrats Jay and best of luck with your books. 

The Mechanica Wars: Savage Machines Are Afoot...
At the age of twenty, Kanze Zenjiro's bloody footprints mark the bodies of those who stood in his way to protect the throne of Nihon. Now, the tyrannical Iberian Empire is bent on destroying his kingdom, and they send their steam-powered giants and iron spiders against him.

Zen embarks on a quest that takes him on the most dangerous journey of his life. To succeed, Zen must live up to his nickname, the Dragonfly Warrior, and kill all his enemies with only a sword and a pair of six-guns. He is called upon to somehow survive a test of faith and loyalty in a world so cruel and merciless, it borders on madness.

Book Information: Dragonfly Warrior is a steampunk adventure like no other. It's a dynamic mix of Asian and European mythology, the Wild West, martial arts, traditional fantasy, and high powered steam action that will keep you turning the pages.
Dragonfly Warrior is the first book of The Mechanica Wars, and will debut on January 6, 2014.

Author Bio:
After doing some freelance writing and editing for more than a dozen years, Jay decided to stop procrastinating and pursue his dream of being a novelist. He's been blogging for over eight years, and even had a comedy podcast syndicated all over the internet. All of that was fun, but all the steampunk-inspired stories in his head just wouldn't leave him alone. Jay spends his days working in medical sales, but he can be found toiling over his laptop late at night when all is quiet.
He draws inspiration from all over: H.G. Wells, Jules Verne, Shakespeare, Ray Bradbury, Douglas Adams, and Isaac Asimov.

And Jay loves cookies.

Jay Noel's website:

Friday, November 01, 2013

Halloween 2013

I'm back from our little trip (and the destination was Las Vegas in case you were still wondering), and I'll have to spend some time next week discussing our adventures as we definitely made it a memorable vacation. You might have heard that it was Halloween yesterday and I have pictures to prove it. Kyle went as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Hayden was a Pirate Princess, Mrs. Shife was a cowgirl, and I was an Elderly Mutant Ninja Turtle. The kids had a good time, and hope whatever you did on Halloween was a a good time as well. Thanks for stopping by, and enjoy the photos.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.