Cherish each moment

Well I certainly can't believe it will be a year tomorrow that I faced the darkest day of my life. And nearly 365 days later I still miss my beloved Mother terribly. The joy of having a newborn son has helped ease the pain, but nothing can ever replace the loss of my Mom. I would do almost anything to be able to share another day with her and introduce her to her beautiful grandson. But I know what we do in this life echoes an eternity, and my mom is part of me and thus she is a part of that boy of mine. It will be a tough one tomorrow but I will make it through and I just want to remind everyone that life is short and you never know when it will be taken away so please cherish each moment.

"Cherish Each Moment"

Stop waiting for the one moment in time that will change your life. Instead, cherish all the moments. A desert cactus that blooms briefly only once a year does not consider all the moments it is not in bloom wasted. It considers them necessary and important. It knows the rest of the year, the rest of its life, it is beautiful, too.

All the moments count. The quiet moments. The moments of boredom and solitude. The moments of sharing. The exciting moments of discovery. The moments of grandeur. The agonizing moments when we feel sad, angry, and upset. Each moment in time is equally important. Don't wait and hope for the one thing, the one person, the one event, that will change your life, plummet you into the future and the life you desire. Instead remember that each moment in time brings change, evolution, and transformation.

Most of us relish the magnificent spiritual experience, those tremendous discoveries, those important times of change. But those moments don't happen that often. The truth is, each moment in time is a spiritual experience, an important time of change. Cherish all your moments. Soon you will see the beauty and power of each.

Let each moment have value. Let each day of your life be the spiritual experience you seek. The power to change and evolve lies within you. The life you desire is happening right now. Your destiny is here.

Cherish all your moments. Embrace the beauty and importance of each one.

Random Acts of Shifeness

• It has been one of those days. I ate something that evidently does not think I am a good host. I swore at one point at the gym if I did one more squat I was going to be blowing mud all over the floor.
• Speaking of blowing mud. The rookie dad learned another lesson. It is highly recommended when you are feeding your son whose is only wearing his diaper to make sure the diaper is nice and snug. Kinda of like you are suppose to check your tires before you hit the road. It would have been a better evening for me if I had checked Baby Shife's diaper tires because there was flat on the rear passenger side. As I was feeding him there was some thunder down under as he loaded up his little man pants, and since things weren't so snug the mud kept flowing. And flowing out of the diaper, then all over me, then down my shirt, shorts, and then the floor. Good times right there folks. Good times indeed.
• For some reason I was thinking about the mullet the other day, and trying to come up with the national anthem for this "hairstyle." The official sport would be NASCAR, the official language would be redneck, the official food would be anything off the BBQ, the official spokesperson would be Billy Ray Cyrus, the official flag would be the Confederate flag, the official show would be "The Dukes of Hazzard," the official movie would be "Joe Dirt," but I just can't think of an official song. Any ideas?
• First day of summer here was 66 degrees. Really nice Clark. Really nice. But it has warmed up so I should keep my mouth shut before Mother Nature gets pissed at me again.
  
• I really wish they could invent some sort of filter so you block out crap you do not want to see or hear about. For example, I really don't care about Jon and Kate, and would prefer not to see a new article about them on Yahoo's home page every time I check my mail.
• Thank you to everyone for the Father's Day wishes. It was awesome. And it is really awesome because Baby Shife thinks I am the best dad ever. That poor kid is going to be disappointed in a few years.
  
• And finally it is hard to believe but my son is three-months old today, and he will be going on first plane ride this week. He has three sold-out shows in Washington state. And here is your weekly fix:

Is that your final answer?

So I was debating with Baby Shife what kind of tiger we should sit on for our topless photo shoot for the Siegfried and Roy Father/Son Calendar when I had a thought.
Or I might have been just putting away some dishes.
Anyway my mind was wondering about collect calls.
When is the last time you got one?
I imagine these days they are very rare unless you know someone incarcerated and then you probably don't want to tell me the last time you got a collect call.
I thought if we were living in a land where collect calls where more frequent under what circumstances would you not accept one?
But to make it more interesting I figured there needs to be a twist to this so your answer must include the title of a Def Leppard song.
For me it would be: I could not accept your collect call because I was in the middle of having someone "Pour Some Sugar on Me."

And from the pages of the Rookie Dad journal:
I don't know if this falls in the lazy or pathetic category or maybe it is a combination of both. It is early morning and Quincy just finished eating his breakfast. He is lying on the couch next to me as I am giving Baby Shife his bottle. The feeding was going good so I don't want any interruptions because sometimes if he is distracted it is a pain in Papa Smurf's butt to get him going again on the bottle. So we are on the couch when the fat basset unloads his breakfast all over the couch. It is pretty disgusting watching your dog puke right in front of you.
I am conflicted.
Do I stop feeding Baby Shife and clean up the mess or do I just wait until the baby is done feeding and tolerate the canine chunks all over the couch?
Well as it turns out Quincy decided to help me with my dilemma and proceeded to eat his puke. So quick recap. Quincy, Baby Shife, and I are on the couch. I am feeding Baby Shife. Captain Furry Pants vomits. Mr. Shife doesn't know what to do. Fat Basset takes one for the team and eats the puke. Baby Shife finishes off his bottle. A win-win for Mr. Shife.

And here is your weekly Baby Shifley photo:

Life as I know it

I will be the first to admit this blog needs to get its sexy back.
But right now I am happy if I brush my teeth before noon so I guess I am not setting the bar too high.
I think some of you may be disappointed that this has turned into nothing but updates about my new baby boy or the rookie mistakes I am making as a Dad. But honestly this is all that is going on in my life right now. Well there are some other things like I needed to do some manscaping in the swimsuit area.
Talk about pubes gone wild.
Anyway I passed on the Guyzillian and got a Hasidic cut in the swim suit area. You know they cut off all the hair in the middle and just leave the curlies on the outside.
I also picked up a nice souvenir at my last softball game.
Did you ever wonder what kind of bruise a softball traveling over 100 miles per hour will leave on a man's league? Well your wait is over because this is what it looks like:


Anyway as my son and I better adjust to our new roles I do anticipate one day talking again about interesting topics such as :

• Ambushed Paddingtons
• This Isn't Your Mother's Period
• Midget Westerns
• Peter Heaters
• The Danger of Pleated Pants and Other Shenanigans
• The Penis Monologues
• Top 10 Inappropriate Erections

So I appreciate your patience and support as this Rookie Dad tries to get back on track. And here is the weekly picture of Baby Shifley. The little man heard a lot of hair metal and butt rock when he was in the womb and evidently he must of liked it because he heard a song by Poison and got a little excited. Yep he is making the little rocker hand. The kid is going to be sporting a mullet by 3.



P.S. I almost forgot to include this very funny video from a blogging buddy, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuDMOGfXHSc, enjoy.

Random Acts of Shifeness

• I honestly thought I would have so much more free time staying at home with my son. Now after all you experienced parents are done laughing at me, I will confess I was way off on that one. I do have some down time but that is when I try to do normal stuff like brushing my teeth, eating, taking a shower, feeding the dog, prank calling dwarf farms, etc.
• Mrs. Shife and I will be having our first date since the baby came our way. We are going to the movies Saturday night to see "The Hangover." I admit this movie has been my summer crush since I first saw the trailer so I am hoping it lives up to my expectations.
• I saw a shirt in the mall the other day. It said "Check Out My Stimulus Package" with a big arrow pointing down to the swimsuit area. I am not a rocket scientist - and I never played one on TV - but I don't think I need an arrow pointing to someone's junk to help drive home the t-shirt's message . I think I know what you are saying when you are wearing a shirt that just says "Check Out My Stimulus Package" without an arrow.
• Speaking of redundancies. I talked about this on my Facebook page. Which redundant phrase is used more - ATM machine or PIN number?
• I got a call the other day from a dog breeder. They asked me if they could use the fat basset as a stud.
  They want to breed him with a New Foundland. So that would give you a New Foundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound: A dog for financial advisors.
• I guess I better put up another picture of the cutest baby I know or some of you might get angry with me. Here is my little prince smiling at me. I just love that little man.
  
  
  
• And another reason for me to hate Twitter. Check it out here.

Have a good week.
Talk to you soon.
Eat more fiber. Or don't. It is really up to you on what kind of relationship you decide to have with fiber.