Friday, March 27, 2015

When Did This Happen?

Happy Birthday Kyle!
I'm almost excited as you are to celebrate your special day but part of me wishes I could hit the pause button because you are growing up way too fast.
Are you really going to be 6?
For the love of fat bassets, how can this be possible?
Didn't I just bring you home yesterday?
It was a day that I will never forget as your mother and I got to meet our little man for the first time.
It was just one of the many amazing moments I have had with you.
Looking at you now, it's hard to believe that you are the same guy we brought home 2,192 days ago. You are a generous, sweet, inquisitive, funny, caring little dude who inspires me every day to be a better man and a better father.
On your 6th birthday, here are my wishes for you:

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final Good-bye.

I love you Kyle Bunga, and I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating 6 years of awesomeness.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Captain Obvious

I guess life didn't accept the terms of my surrender.
On Saturday, Mrs. Shife got the flu and spent all day barfing or unconscious.
She felt better on Sunday which was fortunate since I had to spend some time away from the house because Tank couldn't put any weight on his back leg.
This scared the heck out of us because of what happened to our previous basset hound, Quincy.
After 4 hours at the vet, it was determined that Tanklin had hip dysplasia and arthritis.
Not the greatest news but a lot better than I feared.
Since I have been focusing on all of the bad stuff that has been happening to us, I guess I invited some more things our way if you believe in the law of attraction.
Give away what you want to receive.
Evidently I need to be more positive.
In my attempt to bring more favorable karma to the Shifleys, I am going to share some these safety signs with you that will hopefully keep you out of harm's way. 
I didn't research it too much but I believe the sign's manufacturer is the No Shit Sherlock Company.
Take care, my friends.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Down With The Sickness

The Shifleys surrender.
Wave the white flag.
Call a time out.
Yes, I own a Thesaurus.
We throw in the towel.
The damn towel.

So what's up?
It's been a long week since we last spoke.
Saturday - Kyle woke up at 3:30 in the morning puking. The poor kid had a barf fest pretty much all day and ended up missing out on a birthday party that he was really looking forward to attending because it was one of his bestest buddies from kindergarten.
Sunday - Daylight Savings Time. Usually I don't give a shit about this antiquated practice but it just really screws up sleeping routines when you have little people in the house. Plus Kyle was still sick.
Monday - Hayden got whatever Kyle had and woke up early in the morning decorating her bed and room with vomit. She's quite talented. Kyle was still not 100 percent so he stayed home from school.
Tuesday - Kyle goes back to school and Hayden is feeling better. Things are looking up. This week might not suck after all.
Wednesday - Hayden wakes up at 5 in the morning throwing up again, and Mrs. Shife wakes up with an extremely sore throat. Mrs. Shife thinks she has strep throat. Turns out Mrs. Shife is right.
Thursday - Hayden's cheap father (yep, that's me) bought her generic pull-ups to save a few bucks. Not a wise move, Mr. Shife. Hayden was up at 2:30 in the morning all wet. You had one job generic pull-ups. Suck it. And because strep throat wasn't enough fun, Mrs. Shife woke up with pink eye.

I published this Thursday night so I got my fingers, toes and eyes crossed that that all will be well in the Shifley household on Friday. However, just in case, I'm going to use Ricky Bobby's extremely wise words of wisdom from "Talladega Nights" with a slight modification:
Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHHH! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the plague off the Shifley house.

How was your week?
Have a good one. Thanks for stopping by.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, March 06, 2015

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Two things that don't help my OCD: First thing "House of Cards." Netflix released "House of Cards" last weekend and I tried to resist but I binge-watched that show in one weekend. Did a lot of camping in the living room and what is worth it? Nope but I did it and now I can move onto something else to obsess over.
  • The second thing: My kids. We have two light switches that turn on the kitchen lights. I use the one in the kitchen so when the lights are on or off, the switches are facing the same direction. Hayden and Kyle insist on using the one in the dining room so that the light switch in the kitchen looks like this: 

  • Would this drive anyone else nuts? Well it's making me crazy and I just noticed how the screws are not turned in the same direction so I'm going to have to fix that problem. I might have issues.
    • I was doing some Googling to find a song to listen to in the morning to help me get my mind right and start the day in a positive mood. Well based on what the "experts" think is a great song to get your day going, I have come to the conclusion that I would be buying a new alarm clock if I heard "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" at the butt crack of dawn or I would probably end up in jail for assault as someone is going to end up with a shoe horn in their ass if "Walking On Sunshine" is the first song I heard in the morning. Here's the link if you want to see their list of suggested songs. 
    • Hayden and Kyle were having a conversation in the back seat of the car on why it was important to wear your sear belt. Hayden didn't want to wear one and Kyle informed her that the police would give her a ticket as well as take her away to live with a new family. Those penalties didn't faze Hayden. Then Kyle told her they wouldn't be able to play together anymore. Hayden was still not persuaded. Finally Kyle won her over by letting her know that she wouldn't get any more smoothies. Victory for big brother.
    • Random fact of the day: "Don't Stop Believin'" has received more thumbs up than any other song on Pandora. Over 20 million. I like that song a lot but not when I watch these people sing it,
    • Quote of the week: If I'm ever on life support, unplug me. Then plug me back in and see if that works. - Bill Murray

    Hayden saying hello and wishing you a great weekend. Also the scene of the great seatbelt debate with her big brother, Kyle. And the old, creepy dude ... well that's me. 

    Thanks for stopping by. 

    I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.