Friday, October 28, 2016

The Name Game

Since we named our newest family member Ms. Frizzle, it got me thinking about unusual names which ultimately led me down the path of really bad names like the ones below.
Which one do you find the most disturbing? 

Thanks, but no thanks. I prefer my jam to taste like Uncle Steve. 

You need to be a big dude with Sackrider as your last name. 

Have you met his brother, Phil? 

I think Chris P. Nutts was the director. 

I can think of some other fun things that I would rather do.

He looks more like a Dick to me.

I think I'm going to give Uber a try. 

Major Dick Holder is in charge of the 4th Battalion. 

I guess with a name like Wang Liqin, you are really going to be focused on the ball.  

I do believe "Mike" might be having fun with the news reporter about his name. 
I guess Mike Hunt was unavailable for the interview. 

I agree. These are bad website names.
I would definitely not renew "SpeedoFart" when GoDaddy came calling. 

He has to be really good at his job with a name like that, right? 

Because Uranus was just too popular that year for boy names. And you want your child to hate you.

Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, October 21, 2016

Two Years Later

This time two years ago I was getting ready for my book signing party.
Hard to believe it has been almost 730 days.
I'll give you a second to do the math.
Ready? OK.
I'm glad I did it as it turned out to be one of the coolest things I have done with this life of mine.
I still think it's awesome that I can type my name on the Amazon site and my book appears.
And I'm still getting royalty checks.
I earned enough this month to pay for 1 gallon of gas.
I will not be retiring any time soon thanks to my book, but I certainly didn't do it for the money.
I did it for the groupies.
Nope that's not true either.
It was a dream of mine and something I very proud that I did.
However, there are a few people who disagree completely with that statement and they were more than happy to tell me about it with an Amazon review.
Here's my favorite review from an unsatisfied customer:

I disgusted Stan.
But Stan kind of disgusted me because he doesn't know how to spell reading.
I guess we're even.
Dealing with criticism from complete strangers was by far the hardest part of writing my book.
You can't please so you might as well please yourself, right?
Well that's all for today.
Thanks again for stopping by and I will talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, October 14, 2016

It's Official. Meet Ms. Frizzle.

Because we just needed a little more excitement in our lives.
Meet the newest member of the Shifley family.
Ms. Frizzle.

Hi, I'm a cute puppy who likes to get up at 4:30 in the morning. Yay me!!

Ms. Frizzle is an 8-week-old yellow lab.
If you're familiar with the cartoon "The Magic School Bus" then you know where the name came from. If you're not familiar then consider yourself lucky. It's a really weird cartoon.
Mrs. Shife and I weren't sold on the name, but the kiddos won us over.
And I still chuckle to myself when I think about having a dog named Frizzle.
Anyway, we have had her almost a week and everyone is pretty happy about it except you know who.
Tank Tank does not approve.

 Extra sad basset face. Who am I kidding ... it's always extra sad. 

But he seems to be coming around as he was actually playing with her yesterday evening.

How could I say no to that face?  

Puppy love.

Bring me your finest meats and cheeses or I will jump.

Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, October 07, 2016

Random Acts of Shifeness - 10-4 Good Buddy

  • I started the new gig on 10/4. I figured that was a good day to remember since it was National Trucker Day. And you know how much I love truckers. I can only imagine the lines and lines of text that I must have devoted to truckers during my more than 10 years of blogging.
    I just did a quick search, and if you guessed only one mention of trucker on my blog, then my friend you need to give your brain a big kiss. Here's that endangered species from back in 2007:  I might be wearing Aqua-Man underoos and a trucker hat that says “I Brake For Clam Bakes." It's safe to say I had a different mindset back then. 
  • However, from that same blog post I did chuckle at this piece of writing: I might have read the fat basset’s personal journal. His latest entry said – What gets me hot: Country ham, farting into the heating system, and rubbing against Granny’s leg while she naps.
  • And you might be wondering how's the new gig going? Well, it's going great. I am really enjoying it so far. The toughest decision I had to make was figuring what lanyard to use for my ID badge. I think I chose wisely even though they drove me mad this year.
  • Hello ... Kitty? Why are you on my soy sauce packet? 

  • Maybe the bigger question is why is there a soy sauce packet in the front seat of my car?
    Well, yours truly thought it would be a wise idea to buy sushi from the grocery store. Yours truly is an idiot. I knew it was going to be bad but I still did it.
    It might as well have had "You Will Immediately Regret This Decision" written on the label in big, bold letters.
    I am a dumb, white guy.

Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon. 10-4 good blogging buddies.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.