Friday, January 30, 2015

Screenshots 2015

Screenshots or screen grabs? Do you have a preference? I was leaning towards screen grabs but then I drifted back to screenshots. I spend way too much time focusing on mundane shit like this. Well let's move on to something a little less unremarkable. I was trying to come up with a topic for this week when I stumbled across a folder full of goodies that I wanted to share and based on the title and introduction I bet you know what it is: You are correct if you guessed enchilida recipes. =)

I was watching one of my favorite bands - The Gaslight Anthem - perform live on TV and tweeted about it. Well they re-tweeted it and it made me pretty happy. 

 About this time last year I had to "retire" from indoor soccer. The games were on Sunday and it was just cutting into our family time because with me and Mrs. Shife working again, I couldn't justify being away for a little bit during the weekends as well. The family comes first. So I went out on top.

Back in 2011, I got banned from Wikipedia but I didn't share the reason why I was prohibited. Well I made some idiotic comments that were fueled by Miller High Life about another soccer team that I didn't like and after given a few warnings I finally got the red card from Wikipedia administrators. I personally don't think they were too terrible but then again I'm just a dumb, white guy. I haven't tried to get re-instated and I don't think I ever will because you know I am such a rebel.

 And this last one just made me laugh so I thought I would share it because I hear laughter is the best medicine.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, January 23, 2015

382 Words Mostly About Hayden

Hayden had a week so this update will mostly be about her.
  • She graduated from a toddler bed to a big girl bed and was pretty excited about it. She keeps telling us how awesome her big girl bed is every time we tuck her in at night.

  • She also might be the only 3-year-old girl that sleeps with a crocodile, a green guy with purple pants and anger management issues, a purple snake, a purple horse and a teddy bear.  Any guesses on her favorite color?
  • We have been recommending to her for a little bit now that since she's a big girl it might be time to ditch the pacifiers a.k.a binkys but she hasn't really bought into the idea. Well the big girl bed sealed the deal and she put all of her binkys into a Ziploc bag then gave them to friends of ours who are having a baby this spring. Mrs. Shife and I about started blubbering everywhere when she did it. Of course we told our friends to please hang onto to that bag for a few days just in case and then toss them.
  • Hayden also picked up a nasty cough this week and while we were driving around town she informed Kyle that didn't want to talk because she was sick which made her "super crabby." She also let Kyle know that she was "super angry" when he picked the wrong cartoon for them to watch. I think she's "super awesome." 
  • Hayden and I also had a conversation about private parts because she walked into the bathroom while I was going pee. She asked why I went "pee-pee" standing up. I told her that boys have a penis so we can stand up. She then asked if she had a penis, and I told her that she had a vagina. It turns out vagina is a tough one for 3-year-olds as she has been letting me know that I have a penis and she has a giant. It was really hard not laughing out loud the first time she told me that.
  • Here's a picture of Little Miss Hayden at her gymnastics class. I think the class makes her pretty happy.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • So how's 2015 treating you so far? Not too shabby for the Shifes but man oh man I need to quit eating like an asshole. I just had 2 donuts before I started working on updating the blog and I think I had about 10 cookies this afternoon. I guess that's why I work out so I can eat like shit every now and then. It's more like now and now this year so I need to get a handle on this soon before I'm wearing sweat pants all the time. 
  • Speaking of 2015, it's now January 16 and do you want to take a guess at how many days of sunshine we have had in Boise so far? If you said a number that rhymes with chicken cordon bleu then you are big winner. Two days is all we have got in the new year. It's really depressing and it happens every winter as we have to deal with a horrible inversion. Hopefully it ends soon.
  • Writing about being stupid in college last week reminded me of another dumb thing I did and that was living off of my credit card during a summer break. I lost my job about halfway through and instead of finding another one I decided it would be a wise financial decision to max out the cash advance option on my card. It took me a few years to pay off that blunder. I'm not a smart man but I do learn from my mistakes.
  • Hayden is taking a gymnastics class at a local place here in town and it makes me so happy seeing my baby girl do her thing. Being the oldest, Kyle has got to do a lot more activities than Little Miss Hayden so this is the first time she has been the center of attention as I get to watch her do her jumps, rolls and tucks. She just smiles and says "Hi Daddy" while she's out there having a great time. It's pretty awesome.
  • Finally here's a picture of Hayden after she woke up from a nap. She was not happy and she really wasn't happy when I put some mousse in her hair to make it stand up:

  • So I asked Kyle to make her laugh and he did just that which you can kinda see if you look closely at Hayden's mouth in the next picture but he also did an awesome photo bomb:

    Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy your weekend.

    I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

    Friday, January 09, 2015

    What Did You Say?

    I look back fondly on my college days but I also wonder how in the heck did I survive them.
    Some of the stuff I did was just dumb.
    Ignorance is bliss I guess.
    Me thinks the poor guardian angel that got assigned to Mr. Shife the College Years retired young after all of the overtime they worked keeping me out of harm's way.

    Would you like to read an example?
    I hope you nodded your head.
    I was remembering a story of how me and a good buddy of mine took a little trip from Moscow, ID to Riggins, ID.

    We headed south in my blue Chevy S-10 to pick up his truck.
    I was driving and he was the passenger.
    The end.
    See I told you I was living la vida loca.

    Where were we?
    Oh yeah heading down south to pick up my buddy's truck.
    I had taken a unintended sabbatical from driving because I lost my license right before I went to school at the University of Idaho in Moscow and never bothered to get a new one because:
    A) Moscow was a small enough town that I could walk anywhere I needed to go.
    B) I lived in a fraternity so it was never a problem getting a ride somewhere if necessary.
    C) I'm a mechanophiliac and I had a bad break-up with my old car.
    D) I made a promise that I wouldn't drive until I got my gum chewing under control.

    So let's just say it had been a few years since I operated one of those road vehicles that typically come with four wheels and are powered by an internal combustion engine. I wasn't a bad driver but a little rusty. And it didn't help that my truck had a manual transmission, which made the transition from pedestrian to licensed to drive a little rougher too.

    What makes this story even more interesting or perhaps alarming is that I'm deaf in one ear and my friend has two eyeballs but only one of them work. I don't recall how he lost his eyesight but he had an accident when he was younger that left him with the one good eye.

    Trust me this will make sense soon enough.

    Let's get back on the road.

    We are heading south on US 95, which is a two-lane highway that connects northern and southern Idaho, and affectionately known as a goat trail by the millions who have spent time on it.

    Again these are much different times for me and my judgement, but my friend and I are were also enjoying an adult beverage or two while on our way to Riggins.

    For those of you scoring at home, a less-than-confident slightly impaired driver with 1 good ear and a under the influence co-pilot with 1 good eye.

    I think this is how country songs are made.

    About halfway there, we got stuck behind a car.
    I scanned ahead to see if there was a passing opportunity.
    We were on the tail-end of long section of straight road that was about to become full of twists again. If we didn't pass now then we were going to be stuck behind this car for a long time.
    I scanned again.
    It looked good.
    There was a semi-truck trailer heading the other way but I thought there was still enough time to pass this car.  However, since I wasn't completely confident in my driving abilities yet, I asked my buddy if he thought I could make it.
    He took a look and said, "No!"
    With the music cranked up and everything else going on I thought he said "Go!"
    So I went.
    Then I heard, "What the fuck are you doing, Shife?"
    "I thought you said go," I yelled.
    "I said NO!" he said.
    "Damn it. Why did I ask a guy with one eye anyway?" I said.
    "Damn it. Why did I answer a guy with a deaf ear?" he said.
    "Oh SHIT!" we both said.

    By now it was too late.
    We were past the point of no return.
    I pressed down on the gas pedal as far as it would go, I gripped the steering wheel as tight as I could and leaned back against the seat somehow hoping this would make the S-10 just a little more aerodynamic and faster so we did not end our days alive streak.

    I'm sure we made a few of these faces as were speeding towards a possible head-on collision.

    It's true. I look a lot like Nicole Kidman when I cry in the car.

    It's  unbelievable how much you can get done in a few moments if you really put your mind to it.
    I'm pretty sure my buddy and I dropped a 1,000 f-bombs, said several prayers, spilled a few beverages and almost ruined our underwear in under 10 seconds.

    I don't know if the car we were passing slowed down or if the semi eased up a little bit or if the S-10 got a nice little nudge from my guardian angel but we passed the car and made it back over to our lane just in time.

    I pulled over shortly afterwards to relax and also to make sure I did not deposit any fruit in my looms.

    About 30 minutes later, my buddy and I had a nice laugh as we got stuck behind a car.
    Yep. That same car.
    But we decided not to pass it this time.

    Have a great weekend.

    I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.