Friday, October 26, 2018

Frizzle's Bath

Do you recognize this furry lady? You might remember her from such adventures as "I pooped in your shoe" or "I ate your earbuds ... again."
Yes, it's Ms. Frizzle. 
And I must admit that I have embellished this blog post already and I need to apologize. 
There's no need for me to go around sullying Ms. Frizzle's reputation. 
To set the record straight, she didn't poop in our shoes, she just ate them.
Honestly, she probably did drop a turd or two in our shoes but we were so sleep deprived during her puppy days that we didn't notice or didn't care.
I was probably like, "Sweet. Frizzle pooped in my shoe. At least it was solid. Is it OK if I start drinking now?"
Where am I going with this? 
Based on the photo above, I'm guessing that I was going to talk about Frizzle getting a bath. 
She did, which isn't normally a big deal, but this bath was narrated by Morgan Freeman.
The pet store where we get her food just installed a doggie wash in their store and it is bonkers. 

I could have picked Matthew McConaughey, Larry the Cable Guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger, David Letterman or Sean Connery.
Somehow it just felt right having Morgan Freeman talk to me and Frizzy. 
Just imagine Morgan Freeman saying the following words:

"When you take that bath today, you’ve got to lay that heart on the line, Frizzle. From the souls of your feet, with every ounce of blood you’ve got in your body, lay it on the line until the final whistle blows. And if you do that, if you do that, we cannot lose. We may be behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game but if you play like that we cannot be defeated and you will smell great." 

Maybe I'm embellished again.
But it was pretty cool hearing Morgan Freeman telling me how to wash Ms. Frizzle.
Have a wonderful weekend.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, October 19, 2018

Random Acts of Shifeness - Bedazzled Rake

  • I saw an affirmation that I liked.
    I thought I remembered it.
    Then I remembered that I had a few adult beverages when I saw it.
    So the affirmation that I recalled was "I'm strong. I'm pretty. I'm easy."
    Which maybe works well for a bedazzled rake.
    And this might shock you but there are no images of a bedazzled rake on Google.
    I guess a bedazzled rake isn't so easy after all. 
  • The actual affirmation was "You're strong. You're prepared. This is easy"
    I was so, so close. 

  • I guess I got dressed with the woodland creatures this morning.
    Or maybe I was an extra for a hot minute for one of Robin Hood's merry men.
    They have to be remaking that movie again, right?
    The reason I bring it up is I had a foreign object in my underwear.
    I was really itchy.
    It almost felt like maybe a bug was running up and down my leg.
    It was driving me crazy.
    So when I got to work I went right into the bathroom to solve this mystery and this is what I saw.
  • I went and played fetch with Frizzle this morning but I still have no clue how these pine tree needles could have made their way up my leg and into my underwear. 
  • The November elections are right around the corner and I am getting spammed with all kinds of "good stuff" on my phone.
    I was feeling a little ornery today when I got a message and decided to have some fun. 

  • I sent them the Viagra GIF hoping they would reply with a "No" and then I could have told them that they had their answer. I guess robots aren't ready to talk about erectile dysfunction.
  • Here's a picture of Hayden that I think really sums up her personality. The school posted it on their social media accounts and it just made me laugh when I saw it. The firefighters were teaching the kids about safety but Hayden knew there was a photo opp so she had to pose for the camera. 

Thanks for stopping by, I will talk to you soon and have a wonderful weekend.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, October 12, 2018

Random Acts of Shifeness - Frizzleversary

  • Bingo. Bango. Dodge Durango. We celebrated Frizzle's anniversary or Frizzleversary this week. We got the yellow-bellied beauty two years ago on 10/8. The picture above was from that very day. Everybody was pretty pumped. I also ran through the yard in turquoise sun dress but unfortunately, no one captured it on film. You will have to take my word for it. 
  • Frizzle is a little more low key these days. She didn't do too much when I sang her the Frizzleversary song. Maybe it was my singing. Probably not. I have been told I am a good singer. Some have even said gifted. Those people are deaf but they said it. 

  • We got a new BBQ so we have the old BBQ discarded on the street like an old BBQ. I thought I did a good job of trying to find it a new home but I guess not. It still sits on the street waiting to go to a new home and continue to fulfill its destiny of cooking pieces of beef, fish, fowl or the like over an open fire. 

  • Do you think I should be worried about the warning I got on my computer last month? Seems fine, right? 

  •  Hayden and I are featured in an online advertising campaign. I think I was asking her if she will ever have a boyfriend and she's saying "NO!!!!!"

  • I feel like it has been a little bit since I shared a picture of Kyle so here's a picture of me and Kyle. He was a happy camper this day because I took him to a nerd fest or a Comic Con as some people like to call it. He had a blast and I am glad I got to share the experience with him. 

Well, that's all for this week. Thank you for stopping by, have a wonderful weekend and I will talk to you soon. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, October 05, 2018

The Wonderful World of Hayden

Nothing but Hayden this week.
And there's a lot of it.

  • Hayden the director. I cut this one off too soon. She added, "I am getting out of this business" right after I stopped filming.

  • Hayden explaining why you should have your hair curled.

  • A GIF of Hayden being fab.

  • A GIF of Hayden on school picture day.

  • A GIF of Hayden and her cool daddy hanging out at a soccer game.

  • A picture of Hayden being fierce.

Well, that's all for this week, folks. Thanks for stopping by, have a wonderful weekend and I will talk to you soon. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.