Friday, September 23, 2011

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Hard to believe it is first day of Fall. Goodbye Summer. It was a good time. Call me. Miss you already. XOXO Mr. Shife
  • Finished up softball for the year, and it will be interesting to see how I feel about playing next year. I played twice a week for 6 months, and the passion is not there anymore. I really think with Kyle's little brother or sister arriving soon I might not want to play as much.
  • For you Phats ... VTFU.
  • Some wit from Brad Pitt, one of my favorite actors: "I understand hand dryers are more eco-efficient than paper towels, but what happens when you want to rinse your face? What is one supposed to do?"
  • The new TV season has started, do you have any favorites yet? Mrs. Shife and I enjoyed 2 Broke Girls and Up All Night.
  • Tank Tank is now one of Blue's Buddies. Blue Buffalo puts these trading cards in the bottom of their dog food bags so I hope someone gets a kick out of his card.
  • Me and the family are heading out of town so no new blog update next week. Don't miss me too much, but for the love of fat bassets I will miss you a lot.
  • Finally, I would like to say thank you to my wonderful wife for the greatest years of my life. We will be celebrating 7 years of awesomeness this weekend.
  • Take care my friends, and have yourself a great weekend. Also, below you will find a picture of my little man sitting in the back yard enjoying his book of Slovak poetry. I swear to you that is what the book is all about, and for some reason he loves to carry that book around.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Dear Blank

I recently discovered a website - - that contains some funny stuff. I am sharing some of my favorites, and I hope they bring you as much amusement as they brought to me.

  • Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic
  • Dear Nickelback, That's enough. Sincerely, The world
  • Dear Scissors, I feel your pain ... No one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin
  • Dear Reader, Please do me right now. On the kitchen table. In your bed. On the couch. Shoot, I'll even take the floor in front of the T.V. I don't care, I just need you to do me like I've never been done before. Sincerely, Your homework.
  • Dear World, Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat. Sincerely, Tired of hearing your religious guff
  • Dear Rose, There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us. Sincerely, Jack
  • Dear People of the World, I don't mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Grammar
  • Dear Cat, Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever 'The Circle of Life' plays. Sincerely, A Lion King enthusiast
And here is a picture of the little man and Tank Tank sleeping one off in the car. My favorite 2-year-olds were a little worn out after spending 5 days at the farm.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Before and After

We traded in our 2004 Mazda 3 for a 2010 Ford Fusion.

And I traded in my 14-year-old poser tribal arm band for an updated look.

I was hoping to share one more surprise with everyone but I am still waiting on that one. Everything is going good for the Shifes as we are enjoying the last days of summer and waiting for Kyle's little brother or sister to get here. Got a little under 8 weeks to go. And I would be in a lot of trouble if I did not include a picture of the little man.