The Week That Was … Again

Saturday: Kyle has been watching the cartoon Phineas and Ferb lately and occasionally Dr. Doofenshmirtz makes me laugh with lines like this, "If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me, then I would have two nickels. It's not a lot but come on it's a little weird that it has happened to me two times. Right?"

Sunday: Hid some eggs in the backyard for the kiddos and they had a good time trying to find them. However, I need a new manipulation tool as I was threatening them for the past week or so that the Easter bunny would not be visiting if they didn't listen. Might have to invent a new holiday character. The Memorial Day Marshmallow Man?

Monday: Hayden did her best to accommodate all of her dollhouse people as it was nap time.

Sorry we are out of blankets but please enjoy a door for warmth. Nighty night.

Tuesday: A dental package offering from GroupOn: There's nothing wrong with wanting beautiful teeth (Yep, that's a good point. I'm on board with that), and there's nothing wrong with wanting a gloved hand in your mouth. (Nope, not on board. Abort. Abort.) What the hell, man?

Wednesday: Sometimes you have a Monday on a Wednesday. I always prefer having a Friday on a Wednesday.

Thursday: Celebrated the anniversary of my birth. I got pooped on by Hayden, got caught in a hail and rain storm while walking Tank dog about a mile away from the house, got a icy hot like substance a little too close to my plumbing, and the Cardinals lost. Other than that, it was a good day. =)

Friday:  Kyle's ready for the weekend.

Have a good one. Thanks for stopping by.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

The Week That Was

Sunday - I never thought I would find a gym workout in the latest issue of the Food Network Magazine but then again I never thought I would pay good money in my lifetime to buy the latest issue of the Food Network magazine. Well, they had an article about Chef Robert Irvine and his arm workout. The dude is pretty buff and I enjoy one of his shows on the Food Network so I thought I would give it a shot.
Ouch.
Still feeling the effects of the arm workout on Friday.

Monday - I posted this on FB so some of you might have already seen it … sorry.
I'll take "Things I Didn't Need To See On Monday" for $600, Alex.

\

Yep that's my tongue. Pretty gross, huh? Well that's what happens when I drink barley. Still haven't had a beer since Feb. 24 but had some whiskey recently that I thought was safe but it turns out it was distilled from barley. Good times. Well on the bright side, I think this excludes me from membership in the Miley Cyrus fan club. Or that I'm in my 40s. I think either one works.

Tuesday - There are pros and cons to being a freelancer/independent contractor, but today is one of the biggest negatives, April 15 or tax day. Spend it wisely, Uncle Sammy.

Wednesday - This one falls into "And you thought you had heard it all" category: Man severs penis, jumps off building, survives. So it appears that both Johnsons are recovering. And thanks to Just Bob for the inspiration on how this can be DirecTV's newest commercial:
When your cable goes out you get stressed.
When you get stressed you need to get away.
When you need to get away you climb a building.
When you climb a building the increased altitude impairs your judgement.
When you have impaired judgement you sever your own penis.
When you sever your own penis you realize you are a moron so you jump off a building to try to kill yourself.
Don't sever your own penis and jump off a building.
Get rid of cable and upgrade to DirecTV.

Thursday - After 8 days of feeling like hot garbage, I broke down and went to the doctor to get some modern-day medicine to feel better. Turns out I have a pretty awesome sinus infection and will be on antibiotics for 10 days. Of course the biggest side effect of the meds is diarrhea. Awesome. I just wish they would just be really truthful and let you know that "I just sharted" will be part of your vocabulary for the next week or so.

Friday - I'm ready for the McWeekend.

Have a good one!!






Thanks for stopping by.




I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Feeling Not So Hot, Hot, Hot

Normally I piss excellence.
Not this week.
These past few days I am filling the pisser with acetaminophen, dextromethorphan HBr, phenylephrine HCl, FD&C Red No. 40, FD&C Yellow No. 6, gelatin, glycerin, polyethylene glycol, povidone, propylene glycol, purified water, sorbitol sorbitan solution, titanium dioxide.
That would be the ingredient list for DayQuil as I'm getting my pale, white ass handed to me by a cold.
It's funny because I did an image search for "getting my ass kicked by a cold" to find some inspiration for today's post and the first image is one from my blog back in 2005.

Lots of Stone Cold Steve Austin pictures too. Maybe he can help me with this cold.
Looking at all of the comments and I think I'm only still blogging with 1 or 2 people from back then.
Facebook has really depleted the blogging ranks.
Oh well I will be back to normal soon so please forgive me for these less-than-stellar post.
Have a great weekend, and thank you for stopping by.





I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Random Acts of Shifeness

--> I wasn't expecting a different child when the odometer hit 5 for Kyle but you never know. Fortunately for us, he's pretty much the same kiddo. As far as his birthday party went, he had a great time with lots of family and friends, and when I find some time free time I will edit the video I shot of the occasion. The weather could have cooperated a little more but other than that it was a good day.
--> Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. I really do appreciate it.
--> We have told Kyle when he climbs the tree in our backyard then he gets a tree house. Well he's getting closer as you can see by the below picture. And if you look closely you can see the basset hound photo bomb dog. What the picture doesn't show is how Kyle took a luggage bag strap and turned into a seat harness so his chances of success were greater. Mrs. Shife and I were surprised by his ingenuity. I have included a photo of the strap along with Tank because the husky hound always finds a way into our pictures.

--> Anybody else excited about Game of Thrones starting on Sunday? 

--> Speaking of TV, my new favorite show is Vikings on the History Channel. Anyone else watch it? 

--> Another question for you. I saw this on Facebook. If you could buy a ticket to see one rock star that is longer with us perform who would it be? Kurt Cobain? Elvis? Jim Morrison? John Lennon? Bob Marley? Janis Joplin? Tupac? Johnny Cash? Jimi Hendrix? And a whole bunch of others. My pick would be Kurt Cobain.

--> My 1,000 miles update: Only 732.6 more to go. 

--> Finally, tomorrow is a bittersweet day for me because it's my Mom's birthday. I will visit her memorial tree and probably say a few things to her. Mostly I will just miss her more than usual. 

Thanks for stopping by. Have a nice weekend.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.