Friday, January 25, 2013

L is for Laughter

I don't know if it is evident to the regular readers of this blog but I love my son a lot. And there are some days when I love him so much it hurts because he makes me laugh so hard that I almost lose control of my bodily functions.

What am I talking about?
Well I am more than happy to explain.

Every now and then Kyle likes to watch America's Funniest Videos (AFV) so we will fire up the Google machine and hopefully find him something entertaining. Well in our latest AFV adventure, Mrs. Shife and I hit the jackpot. I wish I could find just the few seconds I want to highlight, but if you don't mind obliging me, please fast forward to about 16:04 of the below video. Then watch the scene with the guy and the garbage can, then read what Kyle had to say about it.


So if you obliged me, then you just watched a video featuring a guy rolling his giant garbage can down the hill, then he slipped, all of the garbage fell out and landed on top of him. Well Kyle laughed, then looked at me and said “He got recycled.”

Like I mentioned earlier, I almost lost all control of my bodily functions because I laughed so hard. Nazareth was right, love hurts.

I don't know if this kid is going to grow up to be a comedian or a just a dude with a great sense of humor  or a guy who writes one liners for action movie stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I am sure Arnold will still be acting when Kyle is out on his own so that is good for Arnold if Kyle has more puns to share with the world. In case you are unfamiliar with Arnold's awesome use of the English language, I have included a scene from "Commando" featuring some of his play on words.


Kyle and Hayden hope you can make it to their next Tupperware party.

P.S. I am not 100 percent sure if I will have a blog update next week since I am getting a vasectomy next Friday. I am almost 100 percent sure I will post about the experience but I am just not sure when it will happen. Take care.

 I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • I think it might have been a good idea that I cancelled my Netflix account. I have had 2 DVDs sitting on the shelf that Netflix sent me on Nov. 21. I love movies, and I would love to watch the 2 DVDs sitting on the shelf but by the time the day is over the last thing I want to do is watch a movie. I want to go to sleep. 
  • Mrs. Shife grew up on a farm, and part of growing up on a farm usually means you get up pretty darn early. I did not grow up on a farm, and I would prefer to stay up until 2 and sleep in until noon. So who do you think Kyle and Hayden follow after when it comes to sleeping habits? If you guessed their mother then you are absolutely correct. Both of them ready to start the day at 6 am or earlier. 
  • I am getting fixed. Scheduled for Feb. 1. I would like publicly thank my dudes for helping me with two of the greatest gifts I have ever received, my children, but it is time for them to hang up their swim goggles, speedos and enjoy retirement. We have had a lot of good times. Thanks for the memories. Not sure if I am going to play "Cuts Like a Knife" by Bryan Adams or "Love Removal Machine" by The Cult on the way to the hospital.
  • The only time the TV is on when the kids are up is if Kyle is watching his cartoons or there is a sporting event on like football or basketball. Well Kyle has a fun new game he likes to play on his old man when for example I am watching football. Let's say one of the teams playing has white uniforms and the other has red uniforms.  I will ask him which team he is rooting for, and then he will ask me which do I want to lose. Then I say want the team in the red uniforms to lose, and then he says he is rooting for the team in the red. I swear he is going to be a Cubs fan because he is going to learn how much I love the Cardinals. 
  • It is that time of the year again when I get to visit my doctor for my physical, and also the time when I get my prostate examined. These are things I am glad I did not hear when my doctor was in there:"I wonder how that got there" or "Have you been to a Turkish prison?" or "I can't find the lube anywhere, doctor ... I think we're out." 
  • My book update: Still working on the letter to send to a literary agent. Right now I am on draft #4. My personal word trainer is kicking my butt and making me push myself so that my voice comes through loud and clear in the letter. I will admit when I get her comments I get a little dejected and crestfallen, but she knows and I know that I can do better. Thank you Dana aka Random Chick for making me a better writer. 
  • Another book update: I have tentatively set July 1 as the date I would like to publish. I am not sure if that is possible because I am still only on step 1 of the process. I picked that date because it is the day my beloved Mom passed away, and I would love to honor her memory by having it done by then. 
  • Memorial service update: It was tough, but seeing so many old friends helped with the grieving. And man oh man it was also a beautiful thing. It was held at the Elks Lodge in Mountain Home, Idaho - where I went to high school - and the place was packed. It was so great seeing everyone come together to remember our friend, Dave. He touched so many lives, and everyone will miss him dearly but he is definitely one of those souls where you can say that what he did in his life will echo in eternity. He will live on for many generations because of his actions.

  • Kyle enjoying the winter wonderland that Boise has become. It is currently 8 degrees. Awesome.

    I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream

    Thursday, January 10, 2013

    Pixel Parade

    Video #1: Shot in 1988 in St. Louis, this is me and my cousin, who was 12 at the time, rocking out in his backyard. After watching this you will understand why I was a virgin until I was almost 19. Not a lot to do back in the day so I guess you make "rock" videos. Also, I must admit I do an awesome spit take. And Mrs. Shife still wanted to date me after she first saw this video about 15 years ago.

    Video #2: Fear the basset. Enough said.

    Picture #1: It turns out that Tank was not as curious as George.

    Picture #2: For those of you familiar with the movie "A Christmas Story" you will understand why we were calling Hayden "Randy" on this day.

    Picture #3: My son. I love him, and it looks like he is going to be a lefty. I am sure the Cardinals can probably use some left-handed middle relief help in about 18 years so if you know a scout with the Cardinals please contact me.

    Finally, I would like to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts on my last post. Tomorrow is the memorial service, and it will be a tough day but I know being with my friends and sharing some laughs and memories about Dave will make it a little easier. I really do appreciate all of you.
    Have a great weekend.

    I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

    Thursday, January 03, 2013

    Make Your Dash Count

    Well I certainly did not want to start 2013 this way.
    I am in mourning as I had a friend pass away on January 1.
    There have been tears, laughs, anger, fatigue, regret, guilt, doubt and a lot of sadness the past two days.
    One thing that has resonated with me as I am dealing with all of these emotions is a quote from the "Life of Pi": "I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye."
    Well I was not able to take a moment to say goodbye.
    My friend became suddenly ill. He was rushed to ICU on Dec. 28. He passed away on Jan. 1. He was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML), and the measures they used to try to make him better ultimately took him away because he was too weak for the chemotherapy
    The world lost a good one.
    A family has lost a father, husband, son, and a whole bunch of people are missing a dear friend.
    My friend's death came too early and it is a reminder that we never know when the sun will set on us.
    So as we start the new year and resolutions are made, I plan on making sure the people that matter to me know how important they are so we don't have the regret or pain of not having said that goodbye.
    It seems to me that all of the nice words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. People need to hear these things while they are above ground.
    Don’t take anything for granted. You just never know. Life is short and precious and you must treat every day like it is a gift because it is. Easier said than done as it is so easy to get wrapped up in all the bull shit that is life, but if you can, and I know you can, try really, really hard to live out your dreams and do those things that you have been putting off. Make your dash count.

    "The Dash" 
    I read of a man who stood to speak 
    at a funeral of his friend. 
    He referred to the dates on her tombstone 
    from beginning ... to the end. 
    He noted that first came the date of his birth 
    and spoke of the second with tears, 
    but he spoke that what mattered most of all 
    was the dash between those years. 
    For that dash represents all that time 
    that he spent alive here on earth 
    and now only those who love him 
    know what this little line is worth. 
    For it matters not how much we own; 
    the cars, the house, the cash. 
    What matters most is how we live and love 
    and how we spend our dash. 
    Do think about this long and hard, 
    Are there things you like to change? 
    For you'll never know how much time is left. 
    So when you're eulogy is being read 
    with your lives actions rehashed, 
    would you be pleased with the things they have to say 
    and how you spend your dash?

    I am dating myself with this picture but here I am with my friend, Dave. Just enjoying life and neither of us having a clue about what is waiting for us around the corner. I don't know where the rest of my days will take me but I know Dave will be disappointed in me if I did not try to honor him by making the most out of my remaining days. Rest in Peace Dave Freer. You will most certainly be missed.

    I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.