- I think Quincy my beloved and husky basset hound might work for the IRS. Evidently he didn’t think we paid enough in taxes so he thought it would be a good idea to visit the Pet ER last Friday at 4 in the morning. Everything turned out OK, but 6 doggie x-rays and other miscellaneous items are not cheap.
- The fat basset has offered to help pay for some of the costs by selling bumper stickers. He thinks “Masturbation Kills Sperm” or “Sometimes When I am Alone I Google Myself” or “Sodomize Poverty” will be wicked bestsellers. If interested send him an e-mail: email@example.com.
- It is official now. Dane Cook's career is circling the drain. I really enjoyed his stand-up comedy. But now that he has decided to become a movie star I don't find him too funny. Never saw "Good Luck Chuck" but it looked atrocious. Now he has a new film coming out called "My Best Friend's Girl" and it looks pretty bad. He is stinking filthy rich so I am sure he doesn't care but it sucks when someone you like turns into a turd cutter.
- Do you ever accidently eat funky charms for breakfast or is it just a Monday?
- The best phrase I have heard in the past 72 hours: I am going to scale Mount Rushmore and dick slap Thomas Jefferson.
- Rest in Peace Pat Tillman. 11/6/1976 -- 4/22/2004.
- My birthday is this week. No big plans. I do have a birthday ritual that I started a few years ago. I will watch “The Big Lebowski.”
- I am taking a two-week break from blogging. Why?
A) I need to get that Dora the Explorer tattoo removed from my right butt cheek.
B) The writers here at Confessions of Dumb, White Guy have gone on strike until Cher my second-favorite Canadian returns to my blog.
C) My blog has been infested with a bad case of the crabs and it will take 14 days for the medicine to work. You might want to wash your hands.
D) I just need to visit the mental health spa and get my stinkin’ mind right.
E) All of the above.
So The Dude is not in for 336 hours. Bye for now.