Friday, February 24, 2012

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • I have a little surprise for everyone in March. Any guesses? Well whoever said frontal nudity is the big winner. That is right you will all be receiving junk mail from me. You get it. Junk mail. Alright, I am just kidding about the frontal nudity and junk mail, but I do have something planned for March.
  • If you are looking for a movie recommendation, I endorse the documentary "Buck."
  • There is some serious false advertising going on with the greeting cards labeled "Funny Birthday." I have a good sense of humor but I think me and my good friend Jack Daniels would have to thin the herd quite a but before I found some of those cards worthwhile.
  • If we don't learn from The History Channel, then we are doomed to watch repeats on The History Channel.
  • I am not a Democrat or Republican, but after watching all of the GOP debates I am 100% sure I will not be a Republican anytime soon. I also saw this bumper sticker today that reinforced that thought: "Nobody died when Clinton lied."
  • Love is a human experience not a political statement.
  • And Mrs. Shife and I will be living to fight another day. We went all in with Kyle and potty training last week. It went really well for 3 to 4 days but now it has just become a battle of wills and that is just going to end badly. He just is not ready yet so we will try again in a few weeks.
  • Finally I took off the word verification because it is really hard reading some of those words. I feel like I need to get a Master's degree in hieroglyphics to understand them.

Have a great weekend, and thank you for stopping by.

This is the face Hayden made when I told her she was 3-months-old.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, February 17, 2012

It's Hayden's Turn

I made a video of Hayden. I know about time, right? Only a few months late. Well here she is, and I will be the first to admit that it is not as cool as Kyle's video but it is not too shabby. So I hope you enjoy it, and I also hope you have a fantastic weekend. Take care.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Idiot Box

Will the public humiliation and coming out of the TV closet make me reconsider some of the trash that I watch on TV? Below you will find the list of TV shows that my DVR is currently recording. Some of the shows on this list are not too shabby, but some of them are head scratchers. I mean, come on man, I am almost 42 and I am watching not only Teen Mom but its glorious sequel, Teen Mom 2. Maybe someone hooked up some jumper cables to my head when I was passed out in college. And I don't think there is enough alcohol in the world or amateur lobotomy experiments to justify Jersey Shore. Help me baby Jesus!

  1. 30 Rock
  2. The Office
  3. Eastbound & Down
  4. The Amazing Race
  5. The League
  6. The Big C
  7. Supernatural
  8. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  9. How I Met Your Mother
  10. Intervention
  11. Dexter
  12. New Girl
  13. Breaking Bad
  14. Teen Mom 2
  15. Modern Family
  16. The Closer
  17. Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel
  18. Psych
  19. Parks and Recreation
  20. Dog the Bounty Hunter
  21. Jersey Shore
  22. Workaholics
  23. Boardwalk Empire
  24. Justified
  25. Archer
  26. The Killing
  27. Nurse Jackie
  28. Game of Thrones
  29. True Blood
  30. I Used to Be Fat
  31. Louie
  32. Wilfred
  33. Teen Mom
  34. Up All Night
  35. Fringe
  36. Sons of Anarchy
  37. Tosh.O
  38. Homeland
  39. Cops
  40. Flying Wild Alaska
  41. The Walking Dead
  42. Calliou
  43. Southland
  44. WordWorld
  45. On Freddie Roach
  46. An Idiot Abroad: The Bucket List

Kyle, Hayden, and Tank playing their new favorite game, "Guess Who Pooped?"

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, February 03, 2012

Humble Pie

Nothing like getting your butt kicked by a $4 dollar night light to put your ego in check.
I was having a legen - wait for it - dary day.
My hair was perfectly feathered.
They played “Sister Christian” on the radio. And the next song was “Every Rose Has a Thorn.”
Getting to use the term Mud Falcon in a conversation.
“Archer”, “Justified” and “Southland” were waiting to be watched on my DVR.
Having a midget tell me he can eat his weight in cocktail wieners.
I still look great in my Raggedy Ann wig.
My brief jerkies still fit.

So you get the idea that my day was going OK. Well I retuned home from my awesome adventures at Target and showed Kyle his new night light. Kyle was excited because he has been scared of monsters and the dark lately. I opened up the package to show Kyle how his new light worked. I pushed the on button. Nothing happened. I kept pushing the on button. Still nothing. I looked at the back of the night light to see if it needed batteries. Nothing there. I looked for a little plastic thingy that you sometimes needed to pull to activate devices. Nothing that fit that description. Kyle was getting impatient with his Daddy because his idiot father could not get his night light to work. I called in reinforcements to help out. Mrs. Shife asked me what was up and I explained to her what I was doing and that I could not get the night light to work. Mrs. Shife just gave me the look and said, “Why don’t you try plugging it in genius.” And what do you know it worked perfectly.

Have a good weekend.

My Cowboy and My Princess.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.