Random Acts of Shifeness

  • It has been one of those days. I ate something that evidently does not think I am a good host. I swore at one point at the gym if I did one more squat I was going to be blowing mud all over the floor.
  • Speaking of blowing mud. The rookie dad learned another lesson. It is highly recommended when you are feeding your son whose is only wearing his diaper to make sure the diaper is nice and snug. Kinda of like you are suppose to check your tires before you hit the road. It would have been a better evening for me if I had checked Baby Shife's diaper tires because there was flat on the rear passenger side. As I was feeding him there was some thunder down under as he loaded up his little man pants, and since things weren't so snug the mud kept flowing. And flowing out of the diaper, then all over me, then down my shirt, shorts, and then the floor. Good times right there folks. Good times indeed.
  • For some reason I was thinking about the mullet the other day, and trying to come up with the national anthem for this "hairstyle." The official sport would be NASCAR, the official language would be redneck, the official food would be anything off the BBQ, the official spokesperson would be Billy Ray Cyrus, the official flag would be the Confederate flag, the official show would be "The Dukes of Hazzard," the official movie would be "Joe Dirt," but I just can't think of an official song. Any ideas?
  • First day of summer here was 66 degrees. Really nice Clark. Really nice. But it has warmed up so I should keep my mouth shut before Mother Nature gets pissed at me again.
  • I really wish they could invent some sort of filter so you block out crap you do not want to see or hear about. For example, I really don't care about Jon and Kate, and would prefer not to see a new article about them on Yahoo's home page every time I check my mail.
  • Thank you to everyone for the Father's Day wishes. It was awesome. And it is really awesome because Baby Shife thinks I am the best dad ever. That poor kid is going to be disappointed in a few years.
  • And finally it is hard to believe but my son is three-months old today, and he will be going on first plane ride this week. He has three sold-out shows in Washington state. And here is your weekly fix:


Ms. Moon said…
Poop is just poop. There is nothing that cannot be cleaned with soap and water.
What a beautiful boy.
Megan said…
Has it really been three months already? Holy crap!

Hi Baby Shife!

And isn't there a mullet song out there somewhere? I'm sure there is...
Ananda girl said…
Ah yes... the butt flat! Nothing like baby pooze. I'm afraid it's that kind of job, Shife... through experience.

Precious little baby Shife is never going to be disappointed in you! He is so handsome. I'll throw him a big kiss from my side of the Columbia when he visits across my river in Washington.

I'm thinking "Friends in Low Places."

Great minds agree... Jon and Kate don't rate crap. It's not news.

Shife, I hang my head in shame... I forgot to stick my nose in and wish you HAPPY FIRST EVER FATHER'S DAY! So let me do it belatedly now. You're doing such a great job. And that boy is so fun to look at! Thanks for sharing him with us baby addicts. :)

How's the bruise? Green and yellow yet?
Mr. Shife said…
Ms. Moon - Poop is also an anagram. And thank you for the compliments on my son. I love that little dude more and more every day.

Megan - Yep. 90 days flew right by. Next thing you know he will be wanting to take the car out for a spin. And he said hi to you by the way.

Ananda - The bruise is pretty much gone but since then I have hurt myself in other ways playing softball. I think I might be getting too old for this game.
Suzanne said…
I like him. He's cute! Even if he poops. Oh, and Happy Belated Father's Day. I was so self absorbed I forgot to get around. Actually I was so busy talking to my dad, mom, brother, sister, etc I barely had time to come up for air.

This post cracks me up as usual and it's funny because I was thinking about you all day today as I read a Raymnd Carver short story, "Nobody Said Anything." and was looking at Po Brononson's "Bombardoers" on my desk. By the way, what the hell you doin' with your life!!!??? You bet your ass that's funny!!! I'm sorry, I can't help it.

I got Carver's short stories off the shelf for Em over in Afganistan and realize I can't send it to her until I read it. It's "Will You Please Be Quiet, Please?" It really is an amazing collection of short stories. I think we should just pass my books around. I know Leah needs to read it. I know you do. Bob too. Cece, RC, then some sucker has to pay to ship it to Kylie in Australia, then she can take her lazy ass to the post and send it to Em in her lobster socks if Bob every gets to sharing them after the contest and the promise.

I digress. I realize after "Prince" commented I need to be more generous. This post isn't about me, it's about you. Right? *Suze rolls eyes in head.*

Okay, so here we go. The "Mullet Song" should be that "I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free..." that's played at every freakin' Republican convention. You're welcome. No, I'm not a snob. Just so you know I had a brother with a mullet. F****** redneck!! His hair's so short now he looks like he should be in the military! There's no hope for him.

Take good care of BS. Hummmmmmmmmmm. Baby Shife is "BS." Don't tell him. Just tell him he's "SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO LOVED!!!" That's no BS.

Suzanne said…
Baby, I can't get the hell out of this blog. What is it with you and Just Bob? I'm trapped. I'm going to have to hit the red X, but not before I protest. Okay, so I'm protesting.
texlahoma said…
I share your vision of a
"Mullet Nation" everything you picked sounds appropriate but since I don't listen to that kind of music I can't help you out there.
Nice looking youngster there. In that pic looks like he's saying "I can just kick back, pops has got it covered."
Valerie said…
Aww you come on, you must know that poop is lucky. 3 months old and already breaking hearts... I love him to bits.
Red said…
I think Amanda Girl is on to something with that "Friends in Low Places" tune. That or "Convoy".
Ananda girl said…
Red-- How funny! Convoy was my second choice. Ha!
Ananda girl said…
Shife... Suldog is still playing and he's in the early end of 50!

I'm sorry you keep hurting yourself, though. I love softball. Hope you get more graceful.;-)
Leah said…
Hey dude! Just sayin' hi.
Leah said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leah said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
angel, jr. said…
First of all GREAT LOOKING KID!!

I think there is a song called "I Want My Mullet Back" or something like that. Not sure why I know that.
Red said…
Uh, Breaker One-Nine, this here's the Rubber Duck
You got a copy on me Pig-Pen? C'mon

Uh, yeah 10-4 Pig Pen, fer sure, fer sure
By golly it's clean clear to Flag-Town, C'mon

Uh, yeah, that's a big 10-4 Pig-Pen,
Yeah, we definitely got us the front door good buddy,
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy

Was the dark of the moon, on the sixth of June
In a Kenworth, pullin' logs
Cabover Pete with a reefer on
And a Jimmy haulin' hogs
We 'as headin' fer bear on I-One-Oh
'Bout a mile outta Shaky-Town
I sez Pig-Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck
An' I'm about to put the hammer on down

Cause we gotta little ol' convoy, rockin' through the night
Yeah we gotta little ol' convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy, cross the USA
Convoy... Convoy...
Jon said…
The best part is that all of the "rookie dad" posts only help prepare me. I have a feeling that by the time it's over for the both of us, we could write a book.
Cece said…
Cheap seats by Alabama comes to mind as an anthem song. So you were finally christened with poo! And I love the photo. Have a great rest of the weekend.
Limon Partido said…
Sweetness...pure sweetness...even if he pooped on you....
just a kat said…
Mullet Nation...'freebird'. Skynyd is Redneck. Convoy is 70's - IMHO.
Great looking kid!!! No fat basset pic?
Oh yeah....1st time poster!
Happy dads day a bit late...
Poop is poop and this is the 1st of many blowouts, sad to say. It does stop, promise.
Rocky (Racquel) said…
Anything by Charlie Daniels would qualify as the official song.

Sending Baby Shife kissies from Auntie Lady Shark!
Booya said…
Shif my boy, just wait until they get a stomach bug and blow mud for distance! And as for as the song, I do believe "Freebird" would be the top choice. Or "She Thinks My Tractor Is Sexy"
Red said…
Tag! You're it too!
Anonymous said…
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Anonymous said…
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