536 Words Mostly About Kyle

That's my boy.
Evidently his aunt knows the secret to get him to actually smile for a picture because me and Mrs. Shife usually get the look below when we take his picture. Maybe they are just embarrassed because their father looks like a photo bombing pervert.
Man I totally look like Chester in this one.

Well good news Mr. Rosewater as it's another week of Kyle news.
He had a pretty big week and I wanted to share all of it.
  • On Sunday, he drank his first beer. Yes, I am one step closer to getting my 2016 outstanding parent recognition award from child protective services. We went to a Memorial Day picnic that had a keg and there were a bunch of red kegger cups left at a table that still had beer in them. Kyle was sitting at the table eating some food and needed to wash down his meal with a delicious drink. He looked inside the red kegger cups and thought it was apple juice. He took a drink and then immediately regretted his decision as he spit it out. He told me it tasted horrible. 
  • On Monday, we had a good laugh because I remembered the joke he made back when he was a younger dude. The link is right here if you are interested - http://www.mrshife.com/2013/01/l-is-for-laughter.html - and it involves recycling and a garbage can. 
  • On Tuesday, he told me how babies are made. 
It's a little tough to read and I have to make some assumptions because he hasn't quite mastered the art of spelling but this is what I think he wrote:
How to make a person. First, you need a boy and a girl. Then you have to get more weed and then the girl has to get a shot and then the baby will start to grow and the baby will come out some day.

I know it's troubling, right? What a run-on sentence. I might have to ground him. =) 

I haven't asked him yet, but I'm not sure why you have to get more weed. I assure you it's not marijuana because unless he's heard some stuff on the playground, I don't even think he knows that word and Mrs. Shife and I don't partake. 
Just interesting seeing how things get made from the perspective of a 7-year-old. 
I just got confirmation from Kyle that he was trying to spell married. 
Now it's really funny. Oh my. 
  • On Wednesday, he got to finally watch "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" and he was pretty excited to see it. I was also excited as I got to watch it with him. He did get a little upset over one scene and I will not spoil yet for you if you haven't seen it, but if you have seen it then you can probably guess as it was towards the end involving Han Solo.
  • On Thursday, he wrapped up 1st-grade and is now on summer vacation. He's going to keep busy with swim lessons, junior chef's cooking camp and a Star Wars Jedi camp. 

That's all for this week. Thanks for stopping by.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.


  1. Yes, I taught sex ed to incarcerated juveniles and, amazingly, was never asked about the 'weed'. Save that one for the wedding reception 20 years down the road.

  2. I'm pretty impressed. That's by far the most accurate description of how most babies are made that I have ever seen. That was pretty funny. Between that and the beer on Monday, I'm beginning to think that you're starting to get some more material for a sequel to your book

  3. I love childrens' explanations for things. They have such fresh perspectives on life.

  4. So, was that a school assignment?! I agree with tdm above - save it for the wedding day. Excellent joke about the recycling. He's got a quick mind.

  5. Ah yes, the weed.... strange how things get forgotten. Perhaps Kyle can remind me about that.
    I agree with others that this is the perfect story for Kyle's wedding.

  6. beer and weed, it's been the ruin of many a poor boy.

    oh mother, tell your children not to do what i have done.

    thanks for the kyle update.

  7. Kyle cracks me up; as do you :) I hope they both have a great summer.

  8. lol @ photo bombing pervert


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