Shife's Sparkly Spectacular - Day 15

Thought of the day

I heard from my dad that my grandma isn't doing so well.
She's 95 and had been living independently but some illnesses finally caught up to her.
She doesn't have much time and the hospital is making her as comfortable as possible.
However, she almost didn't make it this far as my mom tried to kill her back in the day.
It will all make sense after you read this funny story about her and my mom.


A few years ago my Mom almost killed my grandmother.
My grandmother has severe asthma so she has to be careful about her breathing, laughing, etc.
Well, my grandmother thought it would be nice to share a holiday joke with my Mom.
 And my dear old Mother takes jokes literally.
She doesn't understand the nuances or the double entendres or the play on words.
She has the joke IQ of Forrest Gump.
So my grandmother asks my mom the following:
"Why did Mrs. Claus tell Santa Claus she was going to town?"
My Mother gave a perplexed look and shook her head saying she did not know.
My grandmother told her the answer: "To blow a few bucks!"
My Dad and grandma start laughing and laugh a little harder because my Mom did not get it as it just went right over her head.
My Mom started to think about the answer and did not really see humor.
So she stated with a straight face, "I don't know why that is funny. I have got into town and blown a few bucks before. I have done it a lot of times and there is nothing funny about that."
Now my Dad and grandma are howling, and my poor grandmother is reaching for her oxygen because her asthma is getting the best of her.
Then my Mom continues with her quest for the truth by saying, "People blow bucks all the time. It happens every day. Why is that funny? Do they do something different with their money?"
By now, my grandmother can't take anymore, and my Dad has tears rolling down his face as he takes my Mom into another room to explain the joke to her. A few minutes later my Mom re-enters the room blushing as she discovered the hidden meaning of blowing a few bucks and is grateful that she did not kill my grandmother.

Meme dump




Talk to you tomorrow.

I will persevere.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream. 



Comments

  1. Oh your poor mother ... and I say that even though I howled, HOWLED I say, at "She has the joke IQ of Forrest Gump"

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  2. I’m trying to imagine either of my grandmothers telling a joke like that and I end up throwing upon my mouth. I’m sorry your grandmother is not doing well, but how awesome that you’ve had a grandma for so long.

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  3. Sorry to hear about your grandma's turn for the worse. How did your mother make it that far through a lifespan without ever learning basic sexual slang? I didn't think such innocence still existed in our world. Is your Mom best friends with Jesus, by any chance?

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  4. It sounds like your grandma would be fun to hang out with.

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  5. I'm sorry about your grandmother but what a great run she had. She sounds like she had an excellent sense of humor, my kind of person. That is the BEST STORY EVER!

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  6. I married someone for whom English is a second language. I find myself in this sort of situation all the time. I hope your grandmother makes the final transition in comfort and with family around her.

    My last grandparent slipped into a coma last spring and we made the 3 hour journey to see her the following day, hoping to say our goodbyes before she went. When we walked into the ICU room, she sat up in her bed and we spent the entire day talking about just about everything. We even left promising that we would fulfill her wish to ride a jet ski on her 90th birthday in a few months. We drove home the 3 hours home wondering what the doctors had been smoking. She passed away the following morning. I was glad for that final day we got to spend with her.

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  7. I'm sorry to hear your grandmother isn't doing well,. She sounds like a fun person!!

    There is SO much truth to that last meme. (with pets as well as children)

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  8. I'm sorry to hear your grandma isn't doing well. That story was very funny though.

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  9. The joke IQ of Forrest Gump. That's hilarious. Lucky for you, I don't have asthma. My father used to say that he had a foot but he didn't use it as a rule. I was a child, and I thought he was talking about his foot. (The man had big feet.) So I made the joke to my grandma. "My dad has a foot..." Grandma didn't have asthma, but I nearly got killed.

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  10. What a great story :) Wishing your Grandma smooth sailing into her next journey.

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