Friday, March 13, 2015
Down With The Sickness
The Shifleys surrender.
Wave the white flag.
Call a time out.
Yes, I own a Thesaurus.
We throw in the towel.
The damn towel.
So what's up?
It's been a long week since we last spoke.
Saturday - Kyle woke up at 3:30 in the morning puking. The poor kid had a barf fest pretty much all day and ended up missing out on a birthday party that he was really looking forward to attending because it was one of his bestest buddies from kindergarten.
Sunday - Daylight Savings Time. Usually I don't give a shit about this antiquated practice but it just really screws up sleeping routines when you have little people in the house. Plus Kyle was still sick.
Monday - Hayden got whatever Kyle had and woke up early in the morning decorating her bed and room with vomit. She's quite talented. Kyle was still not 100 percent so he stayed home from school.
Tuesday - Kyle goes back to school and Hayden is feeling better. Things are looking up. This week might not suck after all.
Wednesday - Hayden wakes up at 5 in the morning throwing up again, and Mrs. Shife wakes up with an extremely sore throat. Mrs. Shife thinks she has strep throat. Turns out Mrs. Shife is right.
Thursday - Hayden's cheap father (yep, that's me) bought her generic pull-ups to save a few bucks. Not a wise move, Mr. Shife. Hayden was up at 2:30 in the morning all wet. You had one job generic pull-ups. Suck it. And because strep throat wasn't enough fun, Mrs. Shife woke up with pink eye.
I published this Thursday night so I got my fingers, toes and eyes crossed that that all will be well in the Shifley household on Friday. However, just in case, I'm going to use Ricky Bobby's extremely wise words of wisdom from "Talladega Nights" with a slight modification:
Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHHH! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the plague off the Shifley house.
How was your week?
Have a good one. Thanks for stopping by.
I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.