Thursday, March 12, 2015

Down With The Sickness


The Shifleys surrender.
Resign.
Submit.
Yield.
Abdicate.
Wave the white flag.
Succumb.
Call a time out.
Relinquish.
Quit.
Yes, I own a Thesaurus.
We throw in the towel.
The damn towel.

So what's up?
It's been a long week since we last spoke.
Saturday - Kyle woke up at 3:30 in the morning puking. The poor kid had a barf fest pretty much all day and ended up missing out on a birthday party that he was really looking forward to attending because it was one of his bestest buddies from kindergarten.
Sunday - Daylight Savings Time. Usually I don't give a shit about this antiquated practice but it just really screws up sleeping routines when you have little people in the house. Plus Kyle was still sick.
Monday - Hayden got whatever Kyle had and woke up early in the morning decorating her bed and room with vomit. She's quite talented. Kyle was still not 100 percent so he stayed home from school.
Tuesday - Kyle goes back to school and Hayden is feeling better. Things are looking up. This week might not suck after all.
Wednesday - Hayden wakes up at 5 in the morning throwing up again, and Mrs. Shife wakes up with an extremely sore throat. Mrs. Shife thinks she has strep throat. Turns out Mrs. Shife is right.
Thursday - Hayden's cheap father (yep, that's me) bought her generic pull-ups to save a few bucks. Not a wise move, Mr. Shife. Hayden was up at 2:30 in the morning all wet. You had one job generic pull-ups. Suck it. And because strep throat wasn't enough fun, Mrs. Shife woke up with pink eye.

I published this Thursday night so I got my fingers, toes and eyes crossed that that all will be well in the Shifley household on Friday. However, just in case, I'm going to use Ricky Bobby's extremely wise words of wisdom from "Talladega Nights" with a slight modification:
Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHHH! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the plague off the Shifley house.

How was your week?
Have a good one. Thanks for stopping by.


I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.





6 comments:

Jon said...

Who says kids don't love to share? Colin came home from school early yesterday with pink eye as well, Julia has a cough and no one is adjusted to the time change yet, other than me. Other than the vomiting, I think we're almost having the same week. Hang in there.

Valerie said...

What is pink eye?

Sorry to hear the family has been in turmoil what with one thing and another... praying that Tom Cruise was able to help.

I tried to think of a few words of encouragement but only came up with 'next week should be better' ... smiles.

Ms. Moon said...

Why do the pukes always come on in the wee hours when we are least able to calmly deal with the results?
May the gods smile upon you and lift the curse on your house. May this next week be better.

kden said...

Wow Matt, if it weren't for bad luck.....you know the rest. I'd rather have a combination of all of those things than have strep. It's the worst and you just can't get away from the pain. Hoping you stay well and everyone else feels better soon.

sad king billy (pilgrim) said...

i hope you had your fingers crossed behind your back when you surrendered.

texlahoma said...

I hope things are going better for you and your family this week.