Humble Pie

Nothing like getting your butt kicked by a $4 dollar night light to put your ego in check.
I was having a legen - wait for it - dary day.
My hair was perfectly feathered.
They played “Sister Christian” on the radio. And the next song was “Every Rose Has a Thorn.”
Getting to use the term Mud Falcon in a conversation.
“Archer”, “Justified” and “Southland” were waiting to be watched on my DVR.
Having a midget tell me he can eat his weight in cocktail wieners.
I still look great in my Raggedy Ann wig.
My brief jerkies still fit.

So you get the idea that my day was going OK. Well I retuned home from my awesome adventures at Target and showed Kyle his new night light. Kyle was excited because he has been scared of monsters and the dark lately. I opened up the package to show Kyle how his new light worked. I pushed the on button. Nothing happened. I kept pushing the on button. Still nothing. I looked at the back of the night light to see if it needed batteries. Nothing there. I looked for a little plastic thingy that you sometimes needed to pull to activate devices. Nothing that fit that description. Kyle was getting impatient with his Daddy because his idiot father could not get his night light to work. I called in reinforcements to help out. Mrs. Shife asked me what was up and I explained to her what I was doing and that I could not get the night light to work. Mrs. Shife just gave me the look and said, “Why don’t you try plugging it in genius.” And what do you know it worked perfectly.

Have a good weekend.

My Cowboy and My Princess.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.


  1. As you now know, women have all the answers :O)

    Wonderful pictures of your adorable family, the princess is absolutely gorgeous. I want to hug her. Please let me hug her.

  2. Believe me, I can relate... if you only knew how much. :)
    I do love the pictures. It's hard to ignore a picture of a cute kid.

  3. You have beautiful babies but you knew that. All the kids in my life love the turtle or lady bug night light. It projects stars onto the ceiling.
    Like that.
    And it uses batteries.

  4. Funny Mr. Shife. I bought the type of nightlight that only comes on when it gets dark so when I plug in in during the day I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't come on. Duh.

    Also went through the monster thing with my daughter. Took a small plastic bat, wrote 'Monster Basher' with permanent marker and right before bed, let her take care of them. She swung wildly through her room to get rid of them. Sometimes you have to let them take some action to get rid of them; reassurance is not always enough. She's 16 now and we still have the bat.

    Pleasant Dreams!

  5. Darn newfangled high-tech devices!

  6. Children will do that to you. Get used to it. Glad Mrs. Shife was there to lend a hand. Relish in these years, dude. They go all too fast and soon you will be at soceer games and dance rehearsals wondering what happened to the simple times battling monsters in closets and drool.

  7. By the way, I can't spell soccer to save my life.

  8. no worries, in a few years you'll be taking all your techie questions to kyle. i was totally dependent on sonny until he moved out. now i'm a lost soul.

  9. Thank goodness you have a good wife or you two might have been lost in the dark! =;]
    You know, I didn't think anyone could be cuter than Kyle... its still true, but his little sis tied up the competition.

  10. Lack of sleep! Blame it on lack of sleep! I totally did things that I never would have done if I had a good nights sleep. Just think, it will give you something to laugh about, and stories for you to tell your kids later so you can all laugh about it. I know my kids and I laugh all the time when I tell them the ridiculous things I did when they were little. Your babies are both adorable. I love the pictures!

  11. Doh!

    And at Kyle's age, his brain and imagination are growing in a whole new direction (leave it to me to inject a little science here). But he's going to be turning abstract fears into more concrete ones in an effort to get a grip on what reality is. With his imagination exploding, be prepared for fear of the dark and such for the next couple years.
    It's a good sign, actually.

  12. You didn't mention what kind of night light you got, like maybe a Transformers one? Starscream, perhaps, to blast those evil monsters with his null ray?

    Come on by my blog for a Top 10 Celebrity Grudge F' List. I know, I'm so immature, but I think you of all people will get a "bang" out of it.

  13. I LOVED THIS POST! In the back of my mind I kept thinking 'Did he plug it in? Of course he plugged it in? Who wouldn't plug in a nightlight? Especially when it has those pluggy-inny things on them?'

    And BOOM there it was! All my questions answered through your wife's wisdom. Ah, men, we do love you so!


    L. Avery Brown

  14. I found you on a mixed bag blog (valerie's)and what a find, lol. Loved the post, needed a laugh.. pics are cute too. thank you! :-)

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