- Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic
- Dear Nickelback, That's enough. Sincerely, The world
- Dear Scissors, I feel your pain ... No one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin
- Dear Reader, Please do me right now. On the kitchen table. In your bed. On the couch. Shoot, I'll even take the floor in front of the T.V. I don't care, I just need you to do me like I've never been done before. Sincerely, Your homework.
- Dear World, Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat. Sincerely, Tired of hearing your religious guff
- Dear Rose, There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us. Sincerely, Jack
- Dear People of the World, I don't mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Grammar
- Dear Cat, Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever 'The Circle of Life' plays. Sincerely, A Lion King enthusiast
Friday, September 16, 2011
I recently discovered a website - http://dearblankpleaseblank.com/ - that contains some funny stuff. I am sharing some of my favorites, and I hope they bring you as much amusement as they brought to me.