- Happy Thanksgiving. Oh wait that was last week. I need a time machine. For the love of fat bassets I really need to get it together. Don't worry about me, I'm just gonna go make a little macaroni and cheese, seal the windows, and turn on the gas. Well I hope you had a lovely holiday and all of your turkey day wishes came true.
- Nothing like feeding my son a hot dog 2 weeks past its expiration date and then having him barf it all up in the middle of Target to make me feel like I am doing an outstanding job as a parent. I don't think Kyle will be getting me that World's Greatest Dad mug anytime soon.
- Never underestimate the importance of grammar. Thanks to Yellow Dog Granny for bringing this to my attention. Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."
- Joke of the day: Every day, a male co-worker would walk up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhale a big breath of air and tell her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "Its Keith, the midget."
- I shared this on Facebook but some of you don't do Facebook or don't do me on Facebook.
I don't know what the normal addiction rate is but Kyle held out for 20 months before he succumbed to the powers of Elmo mania. The little man is a full-blown junkie and I am his dealer.
- Saw this headline on the Discovery News, Teenage Great White Sharks Have Weak Bite. Definitely one of those things where I will take their word on it.
Here is the Shifley crew at this year's Thanksgiving. We hadn't eaten yet so that is why our pants still fit.