Letting It All Hang Out


I am having a good hair day.
It's the little things, right? 
Speaking of little things. 
Kyle saw me naked. 
And he wasn't happy about it. 
He joins a long list of people who weren't happy about seeing me naked. 
I still don't think that the University of Idaho custodian is fully healed from his unfortunate timing meeting up with my need to streak on that one hot summer evening.


I am getting sidetracked. 
Let me explain what happened. 
With Kyle. Not the custodian. 
I am currently having a love/hate relationship with our digital scale.
Some days I think the scale is the best and then there are other days when... well, I'll let Harry tell you:


On the day of the incident with Kyle, I found the scale to be a precious, empty-headed little shitnugget as the displayed weight was not to my liking.
I took the scale to the Dojo (aka our garage that has been converted into a playroom for Kyle and Hayden) and put a dumbbell on it to see if the scale was indeed accurate. 
A 30-pound dumbbell weighed exactly 30 pounds in the Dojo.


Then I decided to peel off all of my clothing and see what I weighed in the Dojo. 
Please keep in the mind that Kyle and Hayden are both outside playing and the door to the Dojo was shut so I wasn't pretending that I was enjoying a stay at a local nudist colony. 


I weighed myself and guess what?
It turns out the precious, empty-headed little shitnugget is ... well, I'll let John tell you:


So I am pretty happy because I am not as heavy as I think I am and I don't have to feel too guilty about eating that gallon of ice cream earlier this week.
My glory is shortlived as I hear the back door open and Kyle yelling for Ms. Frizzle.
I frantically scramble to put my clothes back but I don't scramble frantically fast enough as the door to the Dojo opens and Kyle sees me frantically scrambling to put my clothes back on unsuccessfully.
Here's a terrible re-enactment of me scrambling frantically but there's no towel.


I did take a tumble as I was hopping on one leg trying to get my other leg in the proper underwear hole but things don't always go smoothly when you are feeling the pressure. 
I guess I will have to cancel that "Grace Under Pressure" tattoo appointment. 
Kyle screams something like "I am going to have nightmares" and runs back outside. 
And I just laugh because it's funny and seems about right for 2020. 


I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 


"To err on the side of passion is human and right and the only way I'll live."
Pat Tillman, 11/6/76 - 4/22/04 #GoneButNotForgetten







Comments

  1. You are correct. That is just about right for 2020. I have so had it with this year. It's good that you have a sense of humor!

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  2. I'm sitting here laughing ... sorry! But you're right, that's 2020 for you :) Thanks for the mood-lifter, and good luck with the ice cream. I find it hard to not eat treats if they're in the house, so I hear you :)

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    1. It's quite alright, jenny_o. I wanted to share because it was funny to me so I thought others would enjoy it as well and I am glad they did.

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  3. bwhahahahahahahaha! no kid wants to see their parents naked. you are lucky it was your son and not your daughter...

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    1. Yes, I am, anne marie in philly.

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  4. Those digital scales can drive one insane! I can get on and off and on again and gain 1.5 pounds! Clothes do make a difference, but also, time of day. I always weigh less at night. I’m guessing it’s water weight retention in the morning.

    Hopefully, your son doesn’t turn it into a “family story” that lasts for years.

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    1. It already has turned into a story, Bijoux. Me and the digital scale are not friends right now but that can change in the morning.

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  5. LMAOOO
    Oh, Mr. Shife. So the digital scale was being uncooperative? Same.
    And Kyle will get over it. That talk you were talking about in my comments is going to come sooner than later.
    And Seth Rogen? Yes.

    XOXO

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    1. Yes, those talks are coming, Sixpence. Seth Rogen? Really? Good for you.

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  6. Thankfully, that has never happened to me. Well, almost did. We can set up a 'Go Fund Me' for Kyle's therapy if we need to.

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    1. I think this will be one of the many things he discusses with this therapist, Jon.

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  7. I'm sorry I am howling at your discomfort!

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    1. I wouldn't haven't it any other way, Margaret (Peggy or Peg too).

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  8. Very 2020!!!

    take care, be safe, xoxo :-)

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  9. Good afternoon. Thanks for visiting my blog. Congratulations for your work. I took the opportunity and started following, I am number 116. I would like to have the privilege of you following me too.

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    1. Thank you, Luiz. I appreciate the following.

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  10. "Kyle saw you naked?"...hehehe....lol...quite funny.

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    1. Thanks, Tanza. I am glad you enjoyed it.

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  11. I would only be worried if he'd said he would have nightmares for life! I do hope you talk to him about it so he can have the whole story of Dad getting fat on too much ice cream in 2020.

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    1. We are having some talks during this whole COVID-19 thing, Joanne. He walked in on me trimming my nose hairs and I had to explain that to him. Leave me alone, Kyle.

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  12. Thank you! It's the first time I've smiled today :)

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    1. Glad to make you smile, kden. Hope things have improved since then.

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  13. Duuuuuude. Brutal! :D

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    Replies
    1. But it made for a good blog update, right? And that is all that matters.

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  14. Not sure what to say.... :)

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