Letting It All Hang Out

I am having a good hair day.

It's the little things, right? 

Speaking of little things. 

Kyle saw me naked. 

And he wasn't happy about it. 

He joins a long list of people who weren't happy about seeing me naked. 

I still don't think that the University of Idaho custodian is fully healed from his unfortunate timing meeting up with my need to streak on that one hot summer evening.

I am getting sidetracked. 

Let me explain what happened. 

With Kyle. Not the custodian. 

I am currently having a love/hate relationship with our digital scale.

Some days I think the scale is the best and then there are other days when... well, I'll let Harry tell you:

On the day of the incident with Kyle, I found the scale to be a precious, empty-headed little shitnugget as the displayed weight was not to my liking.

I took the scale to the Dojo (aka our garage that has been converted into a playroom for Kyle and Hayden) and put a dumbbell on it to see if the scale was indeed accurate. 

A 30-pound dumbbell weighed exactly 30 pounds in the Dojo.

Then I decided to peel off all of my clothing and see what I weighed in the Dojo. 

Please keep in the mind that Kyle and Hayden are both outside playing and the door to the Dojo was shut so I wasn't pretending that I was enjoying a stay at a local nudist colony. 

I weighed myself and guess what?
It turns out the precious, empty-headed little shitnugget is ... well, I'll let John tell you:

So I am pretty happy because I am not as heavy as I think I am and I don't have to feel too guilty about eating that gallon of ice cream earlier this week.
My glory is shortlived as I hear the back door open and Kyle yelling for Ms. Frizzle.

I frantically scramble to put my clothes back but I don't scramble frantically fast enough as the door to the Dojo opens and Kyle sees me frantically scrambling to put my clothes back on unsuccessfully.

Here's a terrible re-enactment of me scrambling frantically but there's no towel.

I did take a tumble as I was hopping on one leg trying to get my other leg in the proper underwear hole but things don't always go smoothly when you are feeling the pressure. 

I guess I will have to cancel that "Grace Under Pressure" tattoo appointment. 

Kyle screams something like "I am going to have nightmares" and runs back outside. 

And I just laugh because it's funny and seems about right for 2020. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

"To err on the side of passion is human and right and the only way I'll live."
- Pat Tillman, 11/6/76 - 4/22/04 #GoneButNotForgetten