The Paranthesis Post

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  • Finish this sentence - I hope I don't have a detached .... .
    I was torn (I know a very poor choice of words) between testicle and retina.
    But Mrs. Shife suggested I probably would not want a severed penis (I guess she likes the big guy. I am pretty fond of him as well), and I thought detached and severed were two different things but according to my good friends at dictionary.com (OK. I don't know anyone over there but I am currently under the influence of barbiturates so I don't even know what I am talking about) it turns out that they are one in the same. So I guess I have to agree with my lovely wife and say I don't want a detached penis (Unless it is like a vacuum cleaner and I can add different attachments. Does that make sense?)
  • I know I took a break for over three weeks to recharge the batteries and that is the best material that I have. Pretty lame. Sorry. (Have you heard people say that saying sorry is a sign of weakness? It is just one of those cliched statements that I don't buy. If I wrong someone and apologize I don't think that makes me weak.)
  • Actually I have been spending a lot of time on Facebook. I know some of you are active over there so if you want to look me up and be friends - do it. (What are you waiting for? Do it. Do it.)
  • The countdown is on my blogging friends. Less than three months to go before Shifley 2.o enters the world. (I sure hope the baby does not arrive the week I decide to quit huffing paint)
  • Well I hope you are having a Happy New Year so far and everything is going well. Unfortunately one of my blogging friends (and you might know him as well) Travis Erwin has endured a bit of a tragedy. He lost his home to a fire on Jan. 4th. He and his family are OK, but the house and all of its contents were destroyed. A site has been established for donations www.habitatfortravis.blogspot.com. Please have a look and do what you can.

Comments

Anonymous said…
HEY! Good to see you around!

Have you ever heard the song, "Detachable Penis"? Sounds like your theme song right now...

I used to be on Facebook a lot but now I hate it. Read more about it here.

Get your sleep now...

I will go check out the web site. Sorry to hear about your blogging friend.
1/07/2009
Anonymous said…
HAPPY 2009!
1/07/2009
Megan said…
Hey, at least you are back! I will friend you.

Did Travis not have insurance or something?
1/07/2009
Ms. Moon said…
Yes. Good to hear your voice again. Hope it's as deep a voice as it was before. What the hell happened?
1/07/2009
Leah said…
The countdown is so exciting! I remember me, 8 and a half months pregnant, waiting in line at IKEA with crib, changing table, and little wardrobe, and Sarge going, "I can't f!@#ing take this anymore!!! I've gotta get outta here!" Guess who stayed in line another half hour to get the nursery rung up.

Wait, did this story have a point? No not really. Just reminiscing.
1/07/2009
Mr. Shife said…
RC - I can understand the Facebook hate especially with all those silly applications. I am stocking up on my sleep and I have not heard the song but I think I will be doing a Google search later.

Megan - Travis did have insurance but I don't think it is going to cover everything. Check out his blog as he elaborated about what happened and what is going on.

Ms. Moon - Nothing happened. Just my overactive imagination thinking random thoughts.

Leah - Thanks for sharing with me. It helps me to hear stories from current parents and I so look forward to the whole process even though I am scared shitless and excited all at once.
1/07/2009
billy pilgrim said…
try as i might, i can't finish the sentence.

they say the last trimester is the hardest. it often results in a detached sense of humor for the mother.

happy feckin new year.
1/07/2009
Tina said…
Shife 2.0. I like it :)

That's awesome that you are doing that for your fellow blogger. I shall check it out and see what I can do.
1/07/2009
catscratch said…
A mere STD from an elf, eh?

Sorry to hear about your friend, I'm headed that way now.
1/07/2009
Megan said…
I searched but I could not find you...
1/07/2009
just bob said…
Mr. S... you (well not YOU personally) can detach my penis but leave my retinas alone. I don't have any use for the equipment I currently possess.

I need my retinas to blog and drive.
1/07/2009
Woozie said…
Points for not having one of those baby counters on your blog. Maybe you're not so dumb after all.
1/07/2009
Anonymous said…
Love Love Love Facebook!
1/08/2009
coloradohurricane said…
Well you took three weeks off from blogging... and I think I took more like three years
1/08/2009
angel, jr. said…
Wouldn't that be pretty cool to have different attachments for your penis?
1/11/2009
Penelope said…
Wow. . .

I got nuthin'

Good luck with the detachable penis concept.

Karen
1/11/2009
Penelope said…
Wow. . .

I got nuthin'

Good luck with the detachable penis concept.

Karen
1/11/2009
Travis Erwin said…
One thing I am grateful for is my detached garage because now I can still mow my lawn, Course I'll have to do it naked since I do not have any clothes.

thanks for the well wishes buddy. All of my blog world friends have made this past week easier to bear.
1/14/2009
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