Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The Paranthesis Post

  • Finish this sentence - I hope I don't have a detached .... .
    I was torn (I know a very poor choice of words) between testicle and retina.
    But Mrs. Shife suggested I probably would not want a severed penis (I guess she likes the big guy. I am pretty fond of him as well), and I thought detached and severed were two different things but according to my good friends at dictionary.com (OK. I don't know anyone over there but I am currently under the influence of barbiturates so I don't even know what I am talking about) it turns out that they are one in the same. So I guess I have to agree with my lovely wife and say I don't want a detached penis (Unless it is like a vacuum cleaner and I can add different attachments. Does that make sense?)
  • I know I took a break for over three weeks to recharge the batteries and that is the best material that I have. Pretty lame. Sorry. (Have you heard people say that saying sorry is a sign of weakness? It is just one of those cliched statements that I don't buy. If I wrong someone and apologize I don't think that makes me weak.)
  • Actually I have been spending a lot of time on Facebook. I know some of you are active over there so if you want to look me up and be friends - do it. (What are you waiting for? Do it. Do it.)
  • The countdown is on my blogging friends. Less than three months to go before Shifley 2.o enters the world. (I sure hope the baby does not arrive the week I decide to quit huffing paint)
  • Well I hope you are having a Happy New Year so far and everything is going well. Unfortunately one of my blogging friends (and you might know him as well) Travis Erwin has endured a bit of a tragedy. He lost his home to a fire on Jan. 4th. He and his family are OK, but the house and all of its contents were destroyed. A site has been established for donations www.habitatfortravis.blogspot.com. Please have a look and do what you can.

18 comments:

Random Chick said...

HEY! Good to see you around!

Have you ever heard the song, "Detachable Penis"? Sounds like your theme song right now...

I used to be on Facebook a lot but now I hate it. Read more about it here.

Get your sleep now...

I will go check out the web site. Sorry to hear about your blogging friend.

Random Chick said...

HAPPY 2009!

Megan said...

Hey, at least you are back! I will friend you.

Did Travis not have insurance or something?

Ms. Moon said...

Yes. Good to hear your voice again. Hope it's as deep a voice as it was before. What the hell happened?

Leah said...

The countdown is so exciting! I remember me, 8 and a half months pregnant, waiting in line at IKEA with crib, changing table, and little wardrobe, and Sarge going, "I can't f!@#ing take this anymore!!! I've gotta get outta here!" Guess who stayed in line another half hour to get the nursery rung up.

Wait, did this story have a point? No not really. Just reminiscing.

Mr. Shife said...

RC - I can understand the Facebook hate especially with all those silly applications. I am stocking up on my sleep and I have not heard the song but I think I will be doing a Google search later.

Megan - Travis did have insurance but I don't think it is going to cover everything. Check out his blog as he elaborated about what happened and what is going on.

Ms. Moon - Nothing happened. Just my overactive imagination thinking random thoughts.

Leah - Thanks for sharing with me. It helps me to hear stories from current parents and I so look forward to the whole process even though I am scared shitless and excited all at once.

billy pilgrim said...

try as i might, i can't finish the sentence.

they say the last trimester is the hardest. it often results in a detached sense of humor for the mother.

happy feckin new year.

Tina said...

Shife 2.0. I like it :)

That's awesome that you are doing that for your fellow blogger. I shall check it out and see what I can do.

catscratch said...

A mere STD from an elf, eh?

Sorry to hear about your friend, I'm headed that way now.

Megan said...

I searched but I could not find you...

just bob said...

Mr. S... you (well not YOU personally) can detach my penis but leave my retinas alone. I don't have any use for the equipment I currently possess.

I need my retinas to blog and drive.

Woozie said...

Points for not having one of those baby counters on your blog. Maybe you're not so dumb after all.

indygal78 said...

Love Love Love Facebook!

coloradohurricane said...

Well you took three weeks off from blogging... and I think I took more like three years

angel, jr. said...

Wouldn't that be pretty cool to have different attachments for your penis?

Penelope said...

Wow. . .

I got nuthin'

Good luck with the detachable penis concept.

Karen

Penelope said...

Wow. . .

I got nuthin'

Good luck with the detachable penis concept.

Karen

Travis Erwin said...

One thing I am grateful for is my detached garage because now I can still mow my lawn, Course I'll have to do it naked since I do not have any clothes.

thanks for the well wishes buddy. All of my blog world friends have made this past week easier to bear.