I hit two milestones this week. Yay me!
I also included a TL;DR if you just want to scroll to the bottom and get to the meme dump.
I apparently wanted to talk the hind leg(s) off a donkey this week.
I need to quit reading those Elmore Leonard books.
TL;DR - Two achievements this week: I celebrated 5 years at my current job and I made it 100 days sober.
- Since I graduated from college, I have been in the workforce for more than 25 years now but I never spent more than 5 years in one place until this past week.
- My first job post-college only lasted 6 months because I was homesick. I moved from Idaho to Oregon and it was not a pleasant experience for yours truly. I actually wrote a blog post about it in 2015.
- My second job lasted about 4 1/2 years but I needed to transition from the graveyard shift to the day shift because it was hard having a relationship with someone if you never see them.
- I successfully transitioned out of journalism into marketing but I was a victim of the 2008 recession and lost that job after about 4 1/2 years.
- With a baby on the way and Mrs. Shife in a pretty good spot professionally, I started the most challenging job of my life, stay-at-home dad. I was able to take care of Kyle and eventually Hayden and also started a freelance career.
- After nearly 6 years of daddy daycare, I was presented with an opportunity by one of my freelance clients to come work for them full-time in the office. It was a big mistake but at the time I thought I was making the right decision.
- After two years at the ad agency, it was time to move on because this place had no respect for the work/life balance and I was spending way too much time away from my family. In my opinion, working at an ad agency is like being in high school all over again. So much gossip, backstabbing, and cliques. It was no bueno.
- Then it was on to a tech company for about 16 months. This felt like a rebound relationship as I was so happy to be away from the agency but this wasn't the job that I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
- So the search was on again and eventually I got hired at a university to help with their marketing efforts, and, 5 years later, it is hopefully the last job I have until retirement.
- I made it 100 days sober. I still am not sure what I am doing but being sober is the plan. I also feel like I have talked about this way too much on the blog so I wanted to clarify a few things and then probably only mention it again when I hit another big milestone like 6 months or a year.
- I have had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol since I can remember. It was taboo in my house growing up because my biological dad and my maternal grandfather were alcoholics so no booze in the house. Then, when I did drink with friends in high school and college, it was to get drunk as fast as I could so I had more liquid courage to talk to girls or be adventurous.
- For the most part, I never drank in moderation. I always drank way too much. I thought I needed to be wasted to be charming, funny, courageous, etc. But I never considered myself an alcoholic because I was able to party hard but still have my life together. I wasn't one of those folks that needed to drink a gallon of vodka a day just to get right.
- Fast forward a few decades and I realize it might be a problem. I used to only drink on weekends and then Thursday became part of the weekend and then I was justifying that I could just take a break on Mondays and Tuesdays. It felt like more and more than alcohol was running in the show. I didn't drink and drive or go out to bars but I would sit in a chair in our TV room and pretty much drink until I fall asleep. Kyle was starting to notice especially when we stayed up late to watch TV. Definitely not one of my finest moments as a parent.
- I knew I needed to make a change because I didn't want to end up like my biological dad or grandfather and I wasn't a fan of the guy I was turning into.
- On October 31, 2022, I decided enough was enough and I started attending meetings and going to therapy. I also got some medicine from my doctor to help with the alcohol cravings.
- And now here I am. It hasn't been easy and I have definitely struggled some days but I am really happy with the choice I made.
- Without the booze, my sweet tooth kicked into overdrive and that is one of the reasons I haven't lost a bunch of weight. I haven't gained any either. But since this sober journey is relatively new, I am giving myself a lot of patience and grace with my eating habits until I am more comfortable with the whole situation.
- If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
Thanks for stopping by. Hope all is well and I will talk to you soon.
I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.
Congratulations on both accomplishments. We have to take life a day at a time, and it sounds like you're doing a good of it. Now to go back and learn about your time out of state...ReplyDelete
Thanks, Jeff. No day but today is how I am taking things.Delete
Congratulations, Mr Shife. I hope it will get easier for you as time goes by. I had to stop drinking over twenty years ago due to medical stuff (not cirrhosis or liver issues) and, at first it made me feel 'funny' at social gatherings or even at a restaurant when offered a cocktail from a waiter.ReplyDelete
Not many people have one career anymore. I've had two. Both I loved and excelled. I burned out on the first, and retired from the second.
Thank you, Jimmy. I have been to a few social gatherings and I did OK. Fortunately, some of the places have fake beer so I can pretend I am drinking and avoid the subject for the time being. Appreciate you. Take care buddy.Delete
Good on you for finding a job you love, but better on you for getting sober and best on you for sharing your story, because it might just help one person out there who stopped by to read your blog and that's a great thing.ReplyDelete
Thanks, Bob. I didn't think about that when I shared my story but I hope this does help someone.Delete
First of all, Damn good job mr. Shife! Congratulations. I understand the job and the alcohol thing a bit too well. I don't know you but I'm proud of you because I know how difficult this all can be.ReplyDelete
Remember when people went to work somewhere for 40 yrs and got a gold watch? yeah, no one does that anymore and honestly I am not certain I would want to do that.
You got this!
Thanks, Peg. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement.Delete
Good news all around! So many people have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and I think that the pandemic has intensified it. In the past we used to call our work/life journeys "finding ourselves" and it sounds like you're doing that in the best ways.ReplyDelete
Yes, the pandemic really seemed to spur my drinking to another level. Thank you, Margaret.Delete
Congrats on your two accomplishments. I come from a long line of alcoholics and postal workers (hmm, a connection maybe? I'm neither) so I know how difficult quitting can be. My relatives ended up dead instead. Good on you for recognizing the problem and acting on it! Big hugs.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Deedles. I really appreciate it.Delete
For me, the ten year mark was the mark I couldn't seem to break... at least until I became a stay at home dad. I just passed my tenth year mark at that and am hoping to coast for another half dozen years until my wife retires with me.ReplyDelete
Congratulations on hitting the 100 day mark and I really hope you can make it as far as you can go. I know there are all kinds of alcoholics. I fortunately never really developed the taste so other than maybe a glass of wine at some social event once a year, I haven't really drank since the kids were born. I can't imagine how much of a struggle it is for others though. I hope you are successful and your kids realize what you've accomplished as they get older.
Thanks, Ed. Congrats on the SAHD gig. It is a tough one but I am so glad I got to do it. I really appreciate your words of encouragement.Delete
Congrats on both counts, Mr Shife! You rock!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Debra.Delete
Congrats to you. My brother has been sober for 2 years and I'm really happy about it. We come from a family of alcoholics and thankfully I never traveled down that road but my brother did. I know how hard it was to stop after watching my brother try to quit. So congrats to you.ReplyDelete
Thanks, Mary, and congrats to your brother.Delete
Congratulations on 100 days sober. It's an accomplishment to be proud of! The longest I've ever stayed at a job was this last one, for 17 years. It got me a decent retirement but also cause a severe burnout, with no way to change it so close to being retired. The stress was no friend to my body! Oh well! Love the memes!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Jeanette.Delete
Congratulations! You got this!!ReplyDelete
Congrats on both major events. I, too, had a consumption issue with alcohol in that I just needed to constantly consume. I could actually go through a box of wine in an afternoon. Sixteen years ago I'd had enough and just stopped. I don't remember if it was easy or difficult since those memories are shielded behind a blurry lens. Congrats again! Your wife, your kids, your dogs, and your liver will be forever grateful.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Dave R, and congrats to you on leaving that part of your life behind.Delete
Congratulations. I really must quote Dave R: Your wife, your kids, your dogs, and your liver will be forever grateful. I come from a family of alcoholics. My father told me he never drank; if he did he would become an alcoholic like...and reeled off name after name of relatives. And you can be addicted to much more than alcohol. Food, cigarettes, marijuana, opioids, and worse. Heroin. I smoked for fifty years. Back when I did, a friend said "It's like a monkey on your back." What an apt description. So, congratulations. You have done a wonderful thing!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Joanne. I appreciate your support.Delete
Congrats on both, they are something to be proud of. You have so many people in your corner.ReplyDelete
Thanks, kden. It takes a village and I really like the people in mine.Delete
Keep up the good work on both fronts.ReplyDelete
I was happy to read both life accounts to get to know you better. My son, who was a marketing major, has struggled with employment since he graduated in December 2017. Covid didn’t help. He’s been unemployed since May (had to quit his job to move). I know their plan is for him to be a stay at home dad, so we keep waiting for an announcement . . .ReplyDelete
Congrats on your sobriety. I know it’s got to be hard when socializing with others. Keep up the good work, we are all rooting for you. You are a GREAT dad!
Best of luck to your son, Bijoux, and thank you for your support.Delete
You're doing a great thing for your kids. You're recognizing a problem and dealing with that problem in total view of your kids. You're a total hero.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Debby. I hope so. I really want to be someone they can be proud of.Delete
Fantastic work Mr. Shife! Neither of those accomplishments are easy. With work there are so many variables. When you go into something, no matter how good it looks, something out of your control can throw a wrench into the works.
I’ve seen the effects that alcohol can have on a person and their relationships. You should be proud that you identified the potential problem before it got out of hand. You have so much to be thankful for with a fantastic family. Keep putting in the work.
Thank you, HuntleyBiGuy. I always appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment.Delete
I am so happy for you that you realized the issue and set out to change it. I don't understand why alcohol and tobacco are legal; both are a major cause of disease, health care stress, and even death. But that's our society. It takes courage to go against the grain but rest assured you are on the right path and doing the best thing for your body, your brain, and your family. I always appreciate your openness and willingness to share your struggles to improve yourself. It inspires me and I suspect there are others reading who do not comment but are also inspired. Keep up the great work, one day at a time as you said.ReplyDelete
The robot vacuum meme is hilarious. One of my cats has been having trouble with constipation and I came downstairs one morning to find the results of several days food processing on a mat instead of in the litter box. I don't think it was 7.7 lb but it was close.
Thank you, jenny_o. I am glad I can help inspire you and hopefully others can benefit from my story.Delete
I've been a lurker for quite some time, but had to come public to congratulate you on your no drinking milestone. I've known people who realized they had a problem and made changes in their life and others who tried to make a change and were unsuccessful. Hope you're in the former category.ReplyDelete
Hello there, Kathy G. Thanks for the comment and the support. Much appreciated and I am glad you stopped by.Delete
I'm so fucking proud of you...ever need some one to talk you thru a hour or day...let me know..254 723 5148...ReplyDelete
TY, YDG. You are the bestest.ReplyDelete
I'm very VERY happy to read about your milestones!! I believe you will have long term success with your sobriety, but I know it's a process and some days are harder/easier than others.ReplyDelete
Always funny memes. lol
TY, CC. Greatly appreciate the support.Delete