Mr. Shife's Micro Thoughts

Do you know what time it is?



If you are thinking about a new alarm sound for your electronic device, I highly recommend a chainsaw. 
It really fills your head with interesting thoughts. 
Unbeknownst to me because I was sleeping, we had some issues with the power line near our house so the power company came out bright and early to fix it. 
I kept hearing what sounded like a chainsaw at 5:30 in the am. 
I convinced myself that I was crazy - which isn't that hard - and tried to go back to sleep. 
Then I heard it again. 
And again. 
Turns out I wasn't crazy as the power company was out there taking off tree branches that fell on the power line and were shooting sparks.  
A lovely way to start the day. 
But they had to do what they had to do because I would rather wake up to that than the house on fire.

Horizontal life pauses

Have you ever napped so hard that you weren't sure if it was morning or night when you woke up? 
I took one the other day and wasn't sure if it was 2:30 in the morning or the afternoon. 
Took me awhile to get my bearings. 
First world problems.

What do you see?


Lab farts or lab forts? 
Since it is too hot to play outside, Kyle and Hayden have been making an epic fort in the Dojo
They also created business cards for the fort but I thought it read "lab farts."
They were not happy with my interpretation. 

Still Hot

The reason why they can't play outside and why the Idaho Power dude came over at 5:30 in the am is because it is still hot.
That wool sock is still getting worked over by those rodents.


Tan lines


I might have to go to the tanning salon and just stick my feet in the tanning beds. 
It is pretty bad.

Meme dump





I will try and do better.


I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Comments

  1. That last meme is truth! I love to hear when siblings play together. I read forts! Very entrepreneurial of them. The heat is on here, too, but not triple digits, so I won’t complain.

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    1. It is crazy how soon they track you down.

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  2. I almost choked on my ice water on the last one. I get that damn call daily! I too first thought was Lab Farts since I have a lab and I get that but Fort makes far more sense ...or does it? Our dog gets us up at 5:30 at the latest and always had, even as a puppy. We have kept her up all night, not letting her nap - keeping her active all day. And she continued to get up at 5:30a. Then one day she didn't we thought she was dead, now how sad is that? But she is still better than a chainsaw!

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    1. So grateful that Ms. Frizzle likes to sleep in. I would hate a 530 am wake-up call.

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  3. I have to go on my app to find a chainsaw ringtone. It would be great having it on full blast as you are standing behind people in the grocery store.

    Don't tell the kids, but at first glance I though it said Lap farts, which is way worse than what you thought it said!

    It's hotter there than it is here in Florida. Well, we're in the middle of a tropical storm right now so it's not that hot at the moment but even on bight sunny days it hasn't been that hot here yet this year. The weather is crazy everywhere!

    Nice tan lines lol!

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  4. One of our neighbors is a fireman.
    One night a tree next to his house caught fire.
    It woke me up with the flashing lights and
    smoke. The fireman slept right thru it.
    xoxo :-)

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  5. We are lucky here to be escaping most of the heat that is hammering the west. I read 'forts' too, you weirdo.

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  6. A chainsaw at anytime of day would put me on edge. I don't like those Halloween horror houses because the people will chase you with the chainsaws. lol

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  7. No, you silly dad. That legendary, amazing, cool business card is from Lab Forts.

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    1. I know, Joanne, but it is fun being silly.

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  8. Not very often and not in a long time. 8:30 was worse. You're either really late for work, or you're never going to get to sleep that night.

    Fort.

    A chain saw ring tone. I'll have to look into that.

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    1. Let me know if you find a good one, Mike.

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  9. We have neighbors that start working in their shop at 6:30 AM on Sundays, I feel like taking a chainsaw to them.

    I saw first until you said fart and now that's all I see.

    That Farmer's Ankle Tan could become a thang!

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    1. I think your neighbors are not cool, Bob.

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  10. I think the legendary and amazing Base for Lab Forts must be pretty special and how lucky are you to get one of their business cards!

    Be careful with that heat. This has been a hard summer for much of the country!

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  11. I cannot believe it is so hot there. It has been very rainy here, but not that hot. I figured it was Lab Fort. I am still a kid at heart.

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    1. I am an idiot at heart, Bathwater, so maybe that is why I went with farts.

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  12. Mr. Shife: that says Lab Forts. Of course the kids are not happy with your reading! (love the amount of thought that went into it, BTW) and business cards too? Win.
    It's been really hot, that's for sure. And some days it has been hot AND humid. Double whammy. Not even the ducks are happy.
    That last meme is absolutely accurate. Even when they say 'press 2 to be taken off your list' I rat them out with the Do Not Call registry. Just for fun. I'm petty.

    XOXO

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    1. I know but it is funnier if it reads farts, Sixpence. I am grateful that we don't have the double whammy.

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  13. That is VERY hot! I feel bad for complaining so much about our couple days of 100s. (wimpy Washingtonians) That tan line rivals mine except at the ankle since I wear socks and walking shoes most of the time. Glad the branches are taken care of, in spite of the rude awakening. :)

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  14. What sort of strange electric company do you even have out there. They came out early??? Several months ago, I called the electric company because a guide wire for a pole was lying atop of the ground, pulled out of the ground. Last night there was a storm. A tree fell, and there was the added bonus of a trampoline came flying three yards down to entangle itself in the wires which were also lying across the tenant's car. The pole itself is now blocking the driveway of the folks living next door. The electric company said they'd be out before 11 PM tonight. I repeat, live electric wire on the ground, fried electrical appliances in the house (including the sump pump, which means the basement flooded) and two small boys.

    The pole would have stayed upright had they came out to secure the guidewire. The wires might have come down, but the pole would have stayed in place.

    "The electric company came out early"... don't know what kind of la de da land you're living in, Shife.

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    1. I don't think they had a choice, Debby, because the sparks could have started a fire since it is so dry out here. Plus I am a righteous dude so they want to keep me happy.

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  15. are you nuts? of course it says forts.. sigh***
    that last meme...yup..

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  16. The heat has gotten to your head man; it clearly says forts, ha. You guys are just a bit hotter than we are but when you get to a certain point, hot is hot!

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    1. I think it has, kden. I might finally be going mad.

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  17. Here's an idea for your untanned feet while you're trying to get them caught up - self-tanner. It's a good idea to exfoliate your feet first (just use a washcloth and soap all over your feet) and only put the tanning lotion on the tops of your feet, not on the soles or on your nails. And be sure to wash your hands well after putting it on, or your palms will be tanned too :D

    Your kids have good imaginations and I did read that as lab farts, shame on me!

    I just found James Breakwell (Exploding Unicorn on Twitter) and his humour reminds me of yours - very funny

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    1. Thanks for the tip, jenny_o. I will also have to check out your Twitter recommendation.

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  18. I saw "Lab Forts" simply because as dads, we get equipped with translation skills. Sorry for the hot weather. I feel we may have traded.

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    1. It would be nice to get the Florida beaches.

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  19. Waking up to Chainsaw noises would be terrifying! I saw Lab Forts but Lab Farts is way funnier. As for your Tan... Man, yeah, you need to lay covered up with towels outside and get that shit evened up!

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  20. Yeah I occasionally have a nap, wake up and have no idea what day it is. Mind you with the lockdown we've been in, it doesn't really matter.

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    1. I understand and completely relate, Joey.

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