Random Acts of Shifeness - Feel Good Friday

  • I am going to do my best to turn your frowns upside down.  Or maybe you were frownless and this will only make your face hurt from all of the fun we are having. And that sentence reminded me of this gem from the wonderful "National Lampoon's Vacation." 

  • Recommendation of the week: Don't ever go on a trip with any of these people.  I have a lot of favorites but I think #15 and #19 are the leaders in Mr. Shife's clubhouse.

  • Hack of the week

  • Quote of the week: "Just saying the tickle train is arriving at brother station soon." - Hayden Shifley. She was informing her grumpy brother that she knew how to make him laugh. She certainly makes me laugh.
  • Jokes of the week:

    I regretted my sex change. They're making a documentary about it: Scrotal Recall.

    A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
    The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type-O!"

    Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
    Student: "Meat!"
    Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
    Student: "Bacon!"
    Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
    Student: "Homework!"
  • Screenshot of the week. Look how funny I was in 2009. 



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 




Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. - F. Scott Fitzgerald 

Comments

Smiles to you and yours!
Stay healthy, stay safe!
xoxoxoxoxo
Joanne Noragon said…
I was guilty of #16 once. Nuff said.
kden said…
Oh man, those vacation customers. I am a known complainer but never would I ever, ha ha. I hope you all are doing well.
Valerie said…
Loved all of today's jokes, Matt. Thanks for the smiles and sniggers. Hope you are all staying well and dishing out lots of smiles..
I've read the vacation complaints with astonishment. Definitely #15 and 19 ~ omg. Did you ever wonder if they are real? Sadly, I expect they are.....

Take care of yourselves! Pull out the Monopoly, we have plenty of time for it now :-)
Bea said…
There's a show currently on Netflix (I think) called Lovesick about a dude who must contact former partners in order to tell them that he's contracted chlamydia. When the show originally aired in the UK it was called Scrotal Recall.
jenny_o said…
LOL! I love your jokes today, especially the rabbit Type-O and the fat cow! Loved the list of complaints, too. My favourites were 1 and 19. Thanks for the laughs, Mr. S - much appreciated :)
Hahaha
Those were good! When you read those people complaining you truly wonder if The Onion is not punking you...

XOXO
LL Cool Joe said…
Loved the Thomas Cook complaints. Hope you are all keeping well and staying at home!
Jon said…
#5 sounds like something we hear in Florida. I'm getting the kids in the house for the next five straight days, so it will be a very, very similar circumstance here.