Mr. Shife's April Antics 2016 - Day 8

Is the title a little misleading?
It might seem that I have been writing every day like I did last month.
But Mr. Shife's April Antics 2016 - April 8 was redundant, and Mr. Shife's April Antics 2016 - 4/8 was too busy. Maybe Mr. Shife's April 8th Antics 2016?
On with the show.
Well on the last day of March - which was Kyle's birthday - it was, as you can imagine, a busy day. We wrapped up the festivities by having dinner at Red Robin and then came home.
The kids started getting ready for bed when we noticed Kyle's fish "Snowflake" needed his home cleaned. You can read the fish origin story here,, if you need help with insomnia.
I went to work on cleaning the fish bowl when Hayden came into the kitchen and asked me where her fish was.
Her fish has been dead for months, and this is the first time she has asked about "Hot Cocoa" in months.
I could have sugar coated it.
I could have been a little more polite about it.
I certainly could have been a lot more compassionate about it.
But I wasn't
It had been a long day, and my dealing with shit meter was broken.
"Hayden, your fish is dead," I said.
And off she went to the couch in a hysterical rage.
Uncontrollable sobbing and pleas to the heavens followed.
Here's a terrible re-enactment as I was not allowed to film the event:

The crying was expected, but the part that had me and Mrs. Shife in stitches was when she was sitting on the couch in tears.
She kept reaching up towards the sky with her little outstretched fingers saying "Fishy come back to me."
Mrs. Shife held her.
Kyle consoled her by letting her know that her fish was in heaven.
And Mr. Shife just stayed in the kitchen because I was the big, bad jerk that killed her fish.
Did you miss me?
Hope you had a nice week.
Talk to you later.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.


  1. Last year, as I have done for many years, I put some frogs
    eggs in a mini-pond (20+ gallons)to raise them to froghood.
    My ponding friend gets a lot of eggs. These frogs can not
    be in with fish - they breed in fishless ponds only - thus the
    mini-pond. Last year Mother Nature decided to test us and temps
    were very, very, very high. Too late I discovered my mini-pond
    reached 100+ degrees. Yes, boiled tadpoles. They went to heaven too.

  2. You bring back memories of trying to keep goldfish alive for our son. It was a futile effort.

  3. Oh dear, sounds like everyone had a long day and were in need of a good night's sleep. And by the way, it was hot today!

  4. De-lurking to say I've been enjoying your writing for awhile now. I just wanted to say that I can recall my kids (and others) having hysterics about the weirdest issues or with strange timing, too - and it was pretty much due to fatigue or post-celebration letdown. It will all be better when everyone gets some sleep!

  5. I felt your tiredness but also felt Hayden's frustration. When I was a child my mother had a puppy put down.... I don't think I've forgiven her yet.

  6. She'll understand some day. I have to admit, "Fishy come back to me" made me laugh at this early hour. We've killed so many fish in this house, that I think our kids are desensitized.

  7. congrats on making it through party and fish adventures mr shife.

    of course you realize that she'll be a teenager before you know it.

  8. Hello,

    After a wonderful dinner it is very unfortunate that you undertook the task of cleaning the fish bowl. I feel very sorry for Hayden. You are not to be blamed because you had a tiresome day.But as you said you had a long day and you could not be polite or compassionate. Perhaps you can buy another fish of her choice. I am sure she will be thrilled. It is strange that she did not notice that her fish was dead for months. Children are children and she took it for granted that her fish was there in the bowl. Very sad.

    Best wishes


Post a Comment