Monday, December 17, 2007

Random Acts of Shifeness


  • Well this is it - the last post of 2007. Unless I win the lottery then you will never hear from me again. Ha ha. I am taking some time off for the holidays so I probably will not hit the blogging circuit until after the new year.

  • I went and saw "I Am Legend." Not too shabby. It had a few "I might shit my pants" moments" and I totally recommend it.

  • They showed the trailer for the new Batman movie "Dark Knight" before "Legend" and let me tell you that trailer was fantastical.

  • Some redneck pickup lines if you need some help with the ladies during the holidays.
    -- Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
    -- Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure is special.
    -- My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.
    -- Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.
    -- Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
    -- If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
    -- You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
    -- I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.
    -- Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
    -- If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
    -- Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

  • Entrepreneurial idea: Rainbow stickers that indicate your level of gayness. For example, if you are 100% gay then your rainbow sticker's color level is 100%. I have acknowledged that I am about 6% gay because my fondness of shopping, grooming (manscaping), etc. so my rainbow sticker color's level would be 6%.

  • If you have not done so you should really go elf yourself.

  • Have you heard about this study? German researchers found that staring at large breasts for 10 minutes a day is equal to doing a half hour of cardio. I think I could insert a really nice joke here but I also don't like sleeping on the couch.

  • I hope Santa brings you something nice, but I guess if you have been bad you will probably get this from the North Pole:

  • Happy Holidays to you and yours, and make sure you have yourself a Ludachristmas!!!

17 comments:

Airam said...

Oh those pick up lines are gold. You make me laugh. Have a great holiday!

Tina said...

hahaha don't make me laugh so much, my head hurts hehe yea I'm still with sinus infection - guess I've been bad this year cuz that's what I get for Christmas...wait..the whole month of December, yea.

I'm doin my best to get better because the boy and I are returnin to Hawaii for a 5 yr anniversary! I don't talk much about things/dates upcoming on the blog cuz I have a dirty stalker lol

I'll probably blog once more and then off to the islands for awhile..wooohoo

Heres to you and the tons of laughs and smiles you have given me over the year! I look forward to bloggin with ya in 2008 as well! Have a great holiday! :)

inherwritemind1 said...

See you in 2008. Man, that sounds weird. Good holidays to you and Mrs. Shife.

yellowdog granny said...

I like the one I found googling around ...
If I gave a fuck, you'd be the one I'd give it to...

jeez, is Tina still sick with sinus infection?...dang..is she going for some sort of record?...

Phats said...

Hey shife have a great and safe holiday season for sure! I read that elf yourself thing is one of the biggest things of the holiday season.

Don't forget your picks! Unless you want Duck to win

Merry Christmas!

Jon said...

Redneck Greeting Card: "Happy Birthday Uncle Dad!!".
Well sir, I hope you and the Mrs. have a great holiday. See you in '08!

billy pilgrim said...

ho ho ho, merry xmas.

thanks for all the 2007 entertainment. i'm sure you'll say goodbye to the old year in style. if you see father time, say an ave there for me.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I'm using one of those lines you mentioned real soon, and it will go like this:

"Honey, I don't say this to just any lady, but I'll be gull darned if your eyes ain't as blue as windsield fluid."

So fucking money.

Travis Erwin said...

Merry Christmas to you as well.

And is wrong of me to hope you don't win the lottery so that I can look forward to many more great laughs?

The Phoenix said...

Have a great holiday yourself, and I hope you have a restful yet fun time away from work.

I need to see that new Batman trailer!

angel, jr. said...

I should try some of those lines...my love life sucks right now.

Skiingred said...

Merry Chritmas - Mr Shife -- Best wishes to you in the new year!

Design Goddess said...

Nice pick-up lines! Is that how you got the Mrs?!?! :D

And my thinking is, if you win the lottery, you'd have even MORE time to blog!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and Mrs. Shife! :)

UnBonHomme said...

I wanna see the new BATMAN TRAILER!?!?! Maybe I have to go see I am Legend to do so?

missy said...

Love the pick up lines LOL!

Happy Christmas xx

GrillTech said...

Gotta agree with you on "I am Legend". That was a KickAss movie. Now I need to buy a copy of "Omega Man" to have on the shelf with it when it comes out on DVD.

Phats said...

Boy Next Christmas you OWE me something BIG. It was hard to do that to Duck, but BSU did lose haha :)