Random Acts of Shifeness

Here is another edition of randomness that has found a home in my brain and I am now unleashing into the wild.
  • OK, I am about to go batshit insane if I see another teenage girl with her underwear hanging out of her ass. Spent some time at the mall recently and whale tails everywhere. New rule: If you see them, then either take a pair of scissors to them or give them a power wedgie.
  • Another sign that I am getting older -- I floss and take my vitamins on a regular basis. My mom would be so proud.
  • What do woman's cleavage, a large facial mole, a couple making out in the public, and the sun have in common? You should avoid staring at them.
  • I love Ryan Reynolds as much as a man can love another man without being gay. I just saw Mr. Van Wilder's latest movie, "Just Friends." Even though the movie is not the greatest, he is the man. I loved him ever since I saw him in "Two Guys and a Girl" and I will not never ever stop loving him.
  • If anyone enjoys war films check out Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War. It is awesome.
  • March Madness is here. I would love to see my Tar Heels repeat but I just think they are too young. My pick is UConn -- write it down.
  • Going to a wedding this weekend, and I believe I will be taking advantage of the complimentary adult beverages. I haven't tied one on in awhile and I am way overdue.
  • This is so funny -- UFC, Ultimate Fighting Cats. And don't worry no cats were harmed.
  • Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw". They are all common. Name two of them.
  • It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Have a great weekend everybody.

Comments

  1. We totally have the same taste in men...

    way to go on the flossing...but getting older will be cool cuz with dentures, you just soak em...

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  2. I can name all three!!

    1) Dwindle (dwindled, dwindling)

    2) Dwell (dwelling, dwelt, dwelled, dweller)

    And I'm sure this one is your favorite:

    3) Dwarf (dwarflike, dwarfishly, dwarfishness, dwarfness)

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  3. Hey-what about DWeeb?

    Thanks for the giggles, Shife. Takin' my scissors to the mall this weekend.

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  4. I'm really starting to think that whole "dry out, quit smoking" thing was a bad idea.

    It's definitely been a while since I've tied one on, and I'm really starting to think its absence has been anything but beneficial.

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  5. Shife, that UFC video was frickin BRILLIANT! I don't know how many times one human being can watch a video clip in a one hour period but I'm going for the record!

    Oh, and my vote is for power wedgie. I'd pay to see THAT happen!

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  6. let's see. all i can think of is dweeb. tae guk gi is a greeat movie.

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  7. I love march madness! I can't go with the Huskies, they are too much of a favorite. I am going with Villanova.

    At least your tarheels are in the big dance! they will do some damage my friend, and you may very well get a national title, but on the ladies side, Ivory Latta is MONEY!

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  8. Damn, that cat got his ass kicked. Have fun this weekend :)

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  9. Impossible to lick your elbow? Not so my friend. I know of TWO people who can do this. Granted they have extremely long tounges. But it is possible.

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  10. Wow, another "Two guys and a Girl" fan. I love that show. I was so bummed when they cancelled it. Don't get me started about "Arrested Development".

    I know your favorite dw word is "dwarf".

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  11. You gotta love the Reynolds. It's hard not to gay or otherwise. I wish i had his charm, looks, money.....(Rambles on)

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  12. Shife, you seen waiting? Not an Oscar winner but there is an exchange between Ryan and his mother that is one of the funniest things I have ever seen

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  13. I think the power wedgie is great! I could just see it now...

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  14. you saw the Brotherhood...

    i love you even more.. as much as a girl can love a married man, without being a mistress... that's how much i love you man !!!

    i couldn't open my eyes the next morning of seeing this film, cuz it was too puffy from crying...

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  15. Anonymous3/10/2006

    I was gonna say dweeb, so that one's gone, but what about Dweezil Zappa?

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  16. UFC Cats? My cats do that all the time, and the clip is still hilarious.

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  17. Ryan Reynolds is the man. However, his relationship with Alanis makes me question his judgment.

    Have fun getting tanked at the wedding! Sounds like you will be talking about midgets long before the garter is thrown and the cake is cut...

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  18. You're right....i can't lick my elbow.....

    oh well, now i'm off to see what I actually CAN lick

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  19. I'm sorry...I just saw Ryan's picture and that's about it. Ryan is just so.....yummy comes to mind!

    I loved 2 Guys,a Girl and a Pizza Place! :)

    Have a superdeeduper weekend!

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  20. Ohh I wanna know what happened to you when you looked at those 3 things while you were out?! hehe

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  21. Enjoy the drinks as I continue to try and lick my elbow- just to prove you wrong..I think i need a drink!

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  22. How's the marathon training coming along??

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  23. Glad it wasn't just me that actually tried licking my own elbow.

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  24. I love Ryan whatever his name is!!! Have you seen the teenage Frankenstien movie he was in-- Bolts or something!! My friend worked on it so I saw it when it first came out and it was pretty funny!! Van Wilder is one of my alltime favourites. I will check out the war movie. And when I was 8 I read a book about a girl who knew she was a fairy princess because only fairy princesses could kiss (not lick) their elbows. Alas, I learned I was NOT a fairy princess!!!

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  25. dwarf, dwell, dwindle

    they left out 'dwanye'

    oh mr shife, you get me through rough times.

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  26. Congrats on your Toodle!!! I can see here that it was well deserved! I will need to check out your blog more often and carry scissors with me where ever I go.

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  27. I was thinking 'Dwight', but maybe names don't count?

    And I, too, love Mr. Reynolds, (though I'm sure you and I have very different reasons for appreciating his...ahem...body of work.)

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  28. I loved Ryan in "The in-laws" with Micheal Douglas. He's a funny dude. It's ok, you can love him too.
    Thanks for the cat link. I needed a laugh today.

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  29. Damnit, I think I injured both my neck and my damn elbow. I almost did it...maybe just one...more...try...(snap)

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  30. sorry had to come back to visit Rya...uh I mean you shifey! :)

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