Thursday, March 09, 2006

Random Acts of Shifeness

Here is another edition of randomness that has found a home in my brain and I am now unleashing into the wild.
  • OK, I am about to go batshit insane if I see another teenage girl with her underwear hanging out of her ass. Spent some time at the mall recently and whale tails everywhere. New rule: If you see them, then either take a pair of scissors to them or give them a power wedgie.
  • Another sign that I am getting older -- I floss and take my vitamins on a regular basis. My mom would be so proud.
  • What do woman's cleavage, a large facial mole, a couple making out in the public, and the sun have in common? You should avoid staring at them.
  • I love Ryan Reynolds as much as a man can love another man without being gay. I just saw Mr. Van Wilder's latest movie, "Just Friends." Even though the movie is not the greatest, he is the man. I loved him ever since I saw him in "Two Guys and a Girl" and I will not never ever stop loving him.
  • If anyone enjoys war films check out Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War. It is awesome.
  • March Madness is here. I would love to see my Tar Heels repeat but I just think they are too young. My pick is UConn -- write it down.
  • Going to a wedding this weekend, and I believe I will be taking advantage of the complimentary adult beverages. I haven't tied one on in awhile and I am way overdue.
  • This is so funny -- UFC, Ultimate Fighting Cats. And don't worry no cats were harmed.
  • Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw". They are all common. Name two of them.
  • It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Have a great weekend everybody.

37 comments:

auburn said...

OMG i just TRIED licking my elbow. I think I kinked my neck.
Cheers.

Oh, and Ryan Reynolds?
*drool*
Hot pic too...HOT....

LBseahag said...

We totally have the same taste in men...

way to go on the flossing...but getting older will be cool cuz with dentures, you just soak em...

swedishnurse said...

I can name all three!!

1) Dwindle (dwindled, dwindling)

2) Dwell (dwelling, dwelt, dwelled, dweller)

And I'm sure this one is your favorite:

3) Dwarf (dwarflike, dwarfishly, dwarfishness, dwarfness)

Rocky (Racquel) said...

Hey-what about DWeeb?

Thanks for the giggles, Shife. Takin' my scissors to the mall this weekend.

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

I'm really starting to think that whole "dry out, quit smoking" thing was a bad idea.

It's definitely been a while since I've tied one on, and I'm really starting to think its absence has been anything but beneficial.

nicole said...

Shife, that UFC video was frickin BRILLIANT! I don't know how many times one human being can watch a video clip in a one hour period but I'm going for the record!

Oh, and my vote is for power wedgie. I'd pay to see THAT happen!

joey♥ said...

let's see. all i can think of is dweeb. tae guk gi is a greeat movie.

Phats said...

I love march madness! I can't go with the Huskies, they are too much of a favorite. I am going with Villanova.

At least your tarheels are in the big dance! they will do some damage my friend, and you may very well get a national title, but on the ladies side, Ivory Latta is MONEY!

Atalanta said...

Damn, that cat got his ass kicked. Have fun this weekend :)

She said...

I love Ryan Reynolds. His stand up comedy is great too. That boy just ain't right.

Steph said...

Impossible to lick your elbow? Not so my friend. I know of TWO people who can do this. Granted they have extremely long tounges. But it is possible.

leo myshkin said...

ruby would love to be the "Big’ John McCarthy" of cat ufc.

why do women always smile like crazy at their wedding? (all us married guys know)

angel, jr. said...

Wow, another "Two guys and a Girl" fan. I love that show. I was so bummed when they cancelled it. Don't get me started about "Arrested Development".

I know your favorite dw word is "dwarf".

Christopher said...

You gotta love the Reynolds. It's hard not to gay or otherwise. I wish i had his charm, looks, money.....(Rambles on)

White Dade said...

Shife, you seen waiting? Not an Oscar winner but there is an exchange between Ryan and his mother that is one of the funniest things I have ever seen

lilly said...

I think the power wedgie is great! I could just see it now...

madame P said...

you saw the Brotherhood...

i love you even more.. as much as a girl can love a married man, without being a mistress... that's how much i love you man !!!

i couldn't open my eyes the next morning of seeing this film, cuz it was too puffy from crying...

Nate said...

I was gonna say dweeb, so that one's gone, but what about Dweezil Zappa?

none - ya said...

Ryan Reynolds was great in Waiting too. Loved that movie. Do you know he's dating Alanis Morrisette. If a chick like her can land a hot ass dude like that there is still hope out there for me too.

Jon said...

UFC Cats? My cats do that all the time, and the clip is still hilarious.

SugarHigh said...

i'm sorry, did you say something? you can't put a picture of Ryan Reynolds on my screen and expect me to read at the same time! I love him more then candy. He is the butter on my bread, the chocolate on my thigh...whoops, did i type that out loud. Alanis is one lucky SOB.
ps- my husband's cousin evidently looks just like him....which is why I have never been allowed to meet him. LOL!

Blonde said...

Ryan Reynolds is the man. However, his relationship with Alanis makes me question his judgment.

Have fun getting tanked at the wedding! Sounds like you will be talking about midgets long before the garter is thrown and the cake is cut...

SuperSpyGal said...

You're right....i can't lick my elbow.....

oh well, now i'm off to see what I actually CAN lick

the_mrs said...

LOVE Ryan Renyolds...although I am still trying to figure out what he sees in Alanis....bleh.

The only word I could think of was "dwindle"...but now I'm questioning whether or not that's a real word.

Oh...just saw swedishnurse's comment. Nevermind :)

Lordofsnag said...

You know i have tried to lick my elbow cause there was always somwhere else that would have been much cooler to reach!!:)
Yuk....Yuk...

Design Goddess said...

I'm sorry...I just saw Ryan's picture and that's about it. Ryan is just so.....yummy comes to mind!

I loved 2 Guys,a Girl and a Pizza Place! :)

Have a superdeeduper weekend!

Tina said...

Ohh I wanna know what happened to you when you looked at those 3 things while you were out?! hehe

mona said...

Enjoy the drinks as I continue to try and lick my elbow- just to prove you wrong..I think i need a drink!

missy said...

How's the marathon training coming along??

Fuckkit said...

Glad it wasn't just me that actually tried licking my own elbow.

Scottish Toodler said...

I love Ryan whatever his name is!!! Have you seen the teenage Frankenstien movie he was in-- Bolts or something!! My friend worked on it so I saw it when it first came out and it was pretty funny!! Van Wilder is one of my alltime favourites. I will check out the war movie. And when I was 8 I read a book about a girl who knew she was a fairy princess because only fairy princesses could kiss (not lick) their elbows. Alas, I learned I was NOT a fairy princess!!!

cranberry said...

dwarf, dwell, dwindle

they left out 'dwanye'

oh mr shife, you get me through rough times.

Jane said...

Congrats on your Toodle!!! I can see here that it was well deserved! I will need to check out your blog more often and carry scissors with me where ever I go.

Pollyanna said...

I was thinking 'Dwight', but maybe names don't count?

And I, too, love Mr. Reynolds, (though I'm sure you and I have very different reasons for appreciating his...ahem...body of work.)

dashababy said...

I loved Ryan in "The in-laws" with Micheal Douglas. He's a funny dude. It's ok, you can love him too.
Thanks for the cat link. I needed a laugh today.

The Phoenix said...

Damnit, I think I injured both my neck and my damn elbow. I almost did it...maybe just one...more...try...(snap)

Design Goddess said...

sorry had to come back to visit Rya...uh I mean you shifey! :)