Alright here is the final installment.
I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts and observations for the week.
- How's this for a way to start the day -- the toilet overflows all over the bathroom floor and you are plopping around in your own urine while you clean it up. That is so much better than a cup of coffee.
- Speaking of coffee, I do not drink the stuff.
- I think I might be manstrating or something. I have cried during a movie since last Friday. Friday it was "Swimming Upstream," Saturday it was "House of D," Sunday it was "The Power of One," Monday it was "Eight Below," and Tuesday it was "Independence Day." Yes that Independence Day with Will Smith. So I knew something was whack when the tears were trying to flow for that film.
I have made it through today not being a sissy so maybe my time of the month is over. - Hey Stinky McNutsack on the ellipitical machine, have you heard of deodorant? I am having issues with people at my gym this week. But how can you not tell that you smell like ass? Come on people use some soap in that shower.
- Random Chuck Norris fact: The leading causes of death in the United States are 1) Heart Disease, 2) Chuck Norris, 3) Cancer.
- A new Guns 'N' Roses album? It might be happening. And can you believe Axl Rose is 44. Holy crap.
- Chicken Dance anyone.
- And this was first brought to my attention by Max Powers and I just received word from another dude. It looks like men want their own version of Valentine's Day.
Have yourself a merry little day, and please remember to tip your wait staff.
Comments
Hmm, which makes me think... I am way overdue.
And by the way, did you know Chuck Norris doesn't sleep?
He waits.
Pollyanna -- I like your thinking. Me and the boys will have to go and get some drinking done this weekend.
Nicole -- I have no idea. I just figure I am weird and this kind of stuff is the byproduct.
Cuff Links are a little way too bloody stoopid man! Yeah, going out on a date with a super hot lat 30's crazy sex tarved underappreciated middle management Lady whose kept it all gravity free is alright, cuff links are definitely called for.
Going to work????
Your SO SO gay!
Darius
You need to know that.
And I needed this laughter this morning!
You're terrific!
It's things like Stinky McNutSack that keep me coming back to you everyday.
I think I know this guy. He gets around a bit.
Axl Rose 44? I'm surprised the new record is coming out before he's 54.
Still, bailed breath...
Also, the only way to cure manstration is to alternate shots of tequila and tabasco sauce. Then give yourself the biggest purple nurple of all time. It's sure-fire.
Great post as always! :)
CH -- I plan on getting her drunk this weekend.
Darius -- Coming from you, being called gay is a compliment.
MD -- Thank you. I am glad I could help out this morning.
Christopher -- He is a bit of a man whore. I am not holding my breath either waiting for that album.
Lilly -- Well this dude loved the shit out of the smell of ass because he was smothered in it.
Vince -- Shhh, keep the harem thing a secret. Most of the advice I have been getting involves drinking large quantities of grain alcohol so I guess that is the plan of action.
T. -- You come by once a week and this is all you give me. I am feeling crestfallen.
DG -- Yes I have heard that phrase but I am just amazed that people can't smell themselves when it is that bad. I mean this was ass smell on steroids.
ME -- I think it requires massive amounts of alcohol poured down the throat.
"You will never hear or see anything new from GNR again. It isn't up to me. Where is a good sushi place around here?"
I always find that being woken up with some sort of heckticness to be much better than coffee and with less jitters (in your case maybe more stank).
Mack -- I am wearing my pink elephant thong.
Max Powers is homer simpsons' alter ego!
Ever notice that 90% of the time, the only men who will admit they've cried at a movie, are married?
(The deleted post was mine. I forgot one word, and didn't want to look illiterate).
You are not menstrating. However, I think you need to reach between your legs to see if your balls are still attached.
I miss and love you and hope all is well. I am recouping in sunny FL. I am sunburnt and drunk and hoping to get my ass slapped. Miss you!