Every now and then I get hit with an idea from the epiphany fairy that, in my opinion, appears to be solid gold. But that is where it stops; I am just an idea guy. I have never had the motivation to try and turn one of these thoughts into a reality but maybe someday. Anyway here are four of my latest, and I have included some of my previous ones since most of you weren’t reading this blog when they were hatched.
- Blur masks for Halloween or for that special day when you decide to become a felon and commit armed robbery. You know how they blur out people’s faces on TV to protect them; well I always thought a mask of this would make a great costume. You could even have blur masks for your private parts to complete the look.
- You're welcome cards. Wouldn’t it be nice to send someone a You're Welcome card after they send you a Thank You card?
- Change the lyrics and title of Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” to “Tony Danza.”
- Personal or single ads on coasters at bars.
- A robot that eats stupid people.
- When you enter a building your very own theme music plays.
- Man candles. The candles smell like man’s favorite things like bachelor parties, monster truck shows, garages, tailgate parties, football games, etc.
What would be your personal theme song when you enter a building?
ReplyDeleteI'm also loving the stupid people-eating robot.
My theme would be "The Final Countdown" by Europe. Just the very beginning. I can live without the words. I got hooked on that song thanks to Gob and "Arrested Development."
ReplyDeleteI've always thought a full-size cordless vacuum would be nice. Is that too much to ask?
ReplyDeleteI want a theme, too! I want Moby's God Moving Over the Face of the Earth (from the film Heat).
ReplyDeleteT. -- Dream it you dreamer.
ReplyDeleteMissy -- That is a cool song.
I meant God Moving Over the Face of the Waters!!
ReplyDeleteWould "flatulence" be included in that candle collection?
ReplyDeleteME -- Of course. I forgot about one of man's other true loves. Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDeletePollyanna -- I was listening to Tim McGraw's version of "Tiny Dancer" and I swore I heard Tony Danza. I just thought it would be so funny and I am glad someone else did as well.
ReplyDeleteThere's a black Yankee Candle that smells like man. Not like manly stuff, just like man. It's a good start anyway.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think your version of "Tiny Dancer" is perfect. Can't you just see that 'Who's The Boss' star walking into his horrible excuse for a talk show to his own theme?
"Hold me closer, Tony Daaaanza."
I love it.
Well, I already have my own theme song but I'm not opposed to everyone else having one too. I'm gonna have to say ix-nay on the robot, though, because I have done some seriously dumb things in my past that would have probably marked the end for me if you had followed through with that entrepreneurial idea...
ReplyDeleteMan candles: I'm picturing the ad:
MANDLES, now in New Car Scent - our most popular candle!
I love the version of Tim McGraw's
ReplyDelete"Tiny Dancer" one of the most played songs on my iPod.
I think on one of the "Friends" episodes Phoebe Buffay said that "Hold me closer Tony Danza" was her favorite song--as she belted out the tune. She may have beat you to the copyrights counter.
Rocky -- We all have done stupid things but we try not to make a habit out of it. Unfortunately there are too many people out there who believe being stupid is a way of life.
ReplyDeleteAngel -- That Phoebe is a crafty one. I don't remember that episode but that does sound like her.
If you design the Blur mask and the stupid-people eating robot, let me know. I'll definitely buy a few.
ReplyDeleteRev -- I think the blur mask is more of a reality than the robot, but I can always dream can't I.
ReplyDeleteI would personally love to see the robot idea, you should copyright it and go for it.
ReplyDeleteThe mancandles was funny too
The you're welcome cards would just start a never-ending cycle of card giving, that would eventually lead to a world take-over by the card industry. Can't have that now, can we? I like the robot idea. Can we name it George?
ReplyDeleteI was once told I needed to make a really mean-spirited, satirical line of sarcastic greeting cards. I've actually been thinking more and more about it lately, which just shows how helplessly bored I am. Anyways, I understand the whole non-pursuit of entrepreneurial ideas thing, as I have yet to fulfill any of the shit I dream up.
ReplyDeletePhats -- I am afraid it would eat me in the research and design phases.
ReplyDeleteAnn -- Yes we can name it George.
Rev -- Stay tuned next week for my line of greeting cards. It should be fun.
I think the coaster idea has alot of potential! You are seriously one of the funniest and most creative people I have ever encountered!!! Now I SIMPLY MUST figure out what my theme song is!!!
ReplyDeleteif ever you do decide to hatch them and I actually have a job I would totally invest.
ReplyDeleteThe final countdown was my theme song for 2004- just saw your comment qand it reminded me of that
I think ideas 2, 4 and 7 are actually brilliant and just might net you a good amount of money. Remember us little people when you make your first billion.
ReplyDeleteWhereas, idea #3 is pure, hilarious BRILLIANCE!!!
you are just to funny.
ReplyDeleteST -- Why thank you. I have thought about the coaster idea for a long time but that is as far as it gets. Good luck finding the theme song.
ReplyDeleteMona -- Well I appreciate your support. So what is your theme song now?
Nicole -- I will never forget you guys. Like I said I am just an idea guy so someone else will put them in motion.
Bozette -- Thank you. I try my best.
OMG....lmfaooooooo...I read this and literally spit my drink out all over the place, especially the Tony Danza part !!....I always said I was gonna make a cologne that smells like Home Depot...
ReplyDelete:)
BTW, you owe me a new keyboard now
;)
I'm gonna write my own Tony DAnza lyrics to Tiny Dancer while getting donkey punched...
ReplyDeletethanks for the idea!
I would go halves with you on the R&D on the robot if it was a good plan.
ReplyDeleteI'm in for the theme music. But I think you have something there with the man-candles. Can you imagine those Fabreeze 'scent stories' telling those man candle tales?
ReplyDeleteI laugh each day that I read your posts!
ReplyDeleteTony Danza thing - very funny.
Theme music - very clever! That would be so awesome.
The stupid-people robot would be great! It would at the same time eliminate prisons, welfare abusers, druggies, and the government.
The Tony Danza thing cracked me up.
ReplyDeleteWhat does a bachelor party smell like?
Man Candles! I'd like the supreme pizza scent please.
ReplyDeleteSo, you're heading to Venus? With so many light years to go?
I totally need a theme song. I'm gonna get right on that.
ReplyDeleteCan you make a candle that smells like a bowling alley? I love the smell of a bowling alley!
I honestly believe if you enter a room to "Final Countdown" there is not a single person in there who will not do exactly what you say.
ReplyDeleteThis year it's Feeling Good- I like the Nina Simone version, but I also really like the Muse version...
ReplyDeleteIf you ever mass produce the robot I want three of them please. One for work, one for down the pub and a third as a spare.
ReplyDeleteI bad want the robot that eats stupid people.
ReplyDeleteI smell blokey enough, ect smokes and booze!!
ReplyDeleteDo they have JPG in the states dude??
One guy's stupid person is another's die hard favorite. We can't kill 'em all.
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ReplyDelete