Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Gnome Goes Wild

Here is another anecdote from my life.
I said a phrase last night that I have never, ever uttered before in my life.
I was in the kitchen washing my hands preparing to eat a lovely meal cooked by my even lovelier wife when I noticed a large amount of dirt in the sink. Many thoughts crossed my mind, but only one got to be expressed verbally.
“Honey, did a garden gnome take a shit in the sink?”



Apparently, Mrs. Shife potted a plant in the kitchen sink and left behind some potting soil during the procedure.
That’s it.
Have a nice day.

27 comments:

swedishnurse said...

Dude, you crack me up.

missy said...

Maybe Mrs Shife is covering up for the gnome?

LBseahag said...

I do that...blame a little gnome for a bunch of stuff....

"Honey, what is that smell? Did a gnome fart in here?"

Vince said...

That was swift, and it definitely bears repeating.

The Scarlett said...

Gnomes are always at fault.

And, when I used to do Sims Online, I used to have dreams about building gnomes. That was my warning sign that I had an addiction.

Design Goddess said...

so what were the other thoughts?

angel, jr. said...

I think we should try to make that into a catch-phrase.

SuperSpyGal said...

Could have been worse..If the gnome had diarrhea, there would have been mud in your sink..

(Your wife just shakes her head and rolls her eyes at you now, doesn't she?.. LOL)

SugarHigh said...

living with you must be a fuckin' riot. LOL! cheers.

totolehero said...

is that you on the picture ??

nicole said...

Do you KNOW how much work it took to keep me from laughing out loud?? SHIFE!!!!

She said...

That explains so much...

Dirk the Feeble said...

I think that's a perfectly valid question; that's the kind of information you need to know, and which your wife is almost certainly holding out from you.

the_mrs said...

That was great--you're even more corny than I thought...:)

Father of 3 said...

Garden gnomes freak me out...and I'm 41!!!

Phats said...

I have a friend that is scared of Garden Gnomes.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Hopefully you will never have to say it again.

the duck said...

When will people start giving gnomes the respect they deserve? You watch your ass shife.

Twisted said...

Damn gnome's always shitting in the sink and giving bad travel advice.

dashababy said...

hehe, my sister fears the Gnomes.

cher said...

lol! a shower in your sink! ahahahaha!

Denise said...

Can you bottle your sense of humor & personality and send it to my husband? He's lacking in both departments.

Good thing the gnome wasn't a female on the rag.

jamwall said...

no it wasn't that dude.

i took a dump in your sink.

......i was wasted...

Steph said...

Bahahaha. You're a funny bastard. Got me thinking. If gnomes could shit. I wonder what it'd be like. Little pebbles maybe?

Denise said...

RYC: Hoff's underwear is mesmerising, huh? Nothing like watching his crotch come at your face over and over and over and.......

Scottish Toodler said...

I am LMAO!!! You are so funny!!!

Luke said...

I suppose there could be worse reasons for there being dirt in the sink, but its nice to know she's not cheating on you with a midget gnome!