Monday, November 28, 2005

Thanksgiving with The Hoff

That's right, Mrs. Shife and I spent the turkey extravaganza with the one and only David Hasselhoff. It turned out to be an interesting evening and I have some photos to share with all of you.
First things first, me and my buds dressed up like pirates and attacked the Hoff. We pretend stabbed him and tried to shiver his timbers, and the Hoff played along but he wanted to play a new game.

He decided he wanted to play the underwear model game. He was the only one that was really into it and it kind of scared away everyone that had come over.


Then things got really weird. He decided he wanted to play the game with puppies. The Hoff has the ability to make cute puppier appear out of thin air.

This kind of freaked out Mrs. Shife that the Hoff was posing with puppies naked in the middle of our house. I tried to calm everyone down so I gave the Hoff my leather falconer outfit and that seemed to do the trick.

We finally sat down and enjoyed our meal. After a delicious culinary experience, we all got settled in the TV room to begin the Baywatch marathon (It is a tradition in our household.) After a few hours of Baywatch madness, I commented to the Hoff that his show had the greatest eye candy that the world had ever seen. The Hoff was a little put off by my remarks, and said that the show was much more than that. It was a cleverly written social commentary on the caste system in India. I about peed myself from laughing so hard. The Hoff was not amused. He threw his sparkling cider in my face. I was now not amused, and I called him a homo. The Hoff had enough and stormed out of our home. He called Gary Coleman. And a few minutes later, Gary showed up in KIT, and the two sped away.


I just laughed the whole thing off, and just figured it was the cider talking. I expected to get an apology from the Hoff the next morning. Well I got something from him, he e-mailed me the picture below.


Well, it is on Hoff. You better watch your back buddy. And was it really necessary to bring Officer Poncharello into the equation?

31 comments:

angel, jr. said...

I guess my Thanksgiving weekend watching porn pales in comparison then.

LBseahag said...

Damn...thats even better than snorting some booger sugar with yasmin bleath!


This was hilarious....

Steph said...

The Hoff is Teh Hottness!! he was recently in Oz and everyone went apeshit over him. Seems we are a little backwards down here ;)

Denise said...

Are you smoking crack?

The picture of him naked with the puppies scares me...it always has. Every time I see him now I imagine that he has fleas in his nether regions. Actually I have stranger thoughts about that photo, but I won't gross you out.

Atalanta said...

Ew... Yeah, the picture with the puppies... what the hell were they thinking?

coloradohurricane said...

Gary Coleman, you say ? Have you been drinking and blogging again, Mr Shife ?

Phats said...

Was the Hoff ever cool? Didn't he spend some time in rehab?

So when gary showed up was it time for you to go to bed and quit drinking you know him being close to being a midget and all

missy said...

I bet his wild 80s poses are up on his wall, all over his house!

This is such a funny post!

dorna! said...

Good job, glad someone is taking up the slack.

totolehero said...

ok.. those pictures... too much for a monday morning man !!!

glad you had fun though

Jon said...

Two of those pics are better than coffee for waking me up. Or better than ipecac for making me vomit. Some things just aren't meant to be seen.

Dirk the Feeble said...

I don't get that last picture, but Hoff is a hoss.

SuperSpyGal said...

LMAO - this is hysterical!!

I can't tell where the sharpei puppy ends and he begins !! ackkkk

mrshife said...

That last image was a picture of the Hoff that said "No You Are The Homo." But the link isn't working or the image is protected so I had to use another photo. Sorry about that.
Here's a link to the page if you want to see the photo I tried to use, http://www.wolfsclan-eq.de/forum/uploads/1102339046/gallery_618_6_1090402523.jpg

dashababy said...

Whoa! Thats alotta hair.

cher said...

you should have asked him to play my favorite game...wax on wax HOFF!

The Scarlett said...

Okay, have you seen the Hasselhoffian Recursion?

Just wondering.

sc said...

interesting visit with the Hoff. You're better off without them, I mean do you really want to get into a threesome with gary, kit and Hoff? We all know Kit takes it up the tailpipe (not that theres anything wrong with that).

Social Drunk said...

wow, and i thought my Thanksgiving was sick. tell dat guy he should consider Manscaping.

Shoe Diva said...

lmao oh you crack me up lol including a picture of ponch lol

mrshife said...

Angel -- Porn > The Hoff.

LB -- I might have to invite her over for Christmas.

Steph -- We still go apeshit over the guy here in the States as well.

Mental -- Yes, I am. And thank you for not grossing me out.

Atalanta -- The poor puppies didn't know what hit them.

CH -- I am always thinking about Gary Coleman.

Phats -- Actually after the Hoff left, it was time for me to pose naked with the puppies. I will have to show you those photos later.

NM -- They are all over my house. They really tie the room together.

Dorna -- Someone has gotta do it.

Toto -- You can never have too much Hoff.

Jon -- Sorry.

Armaedes -- The last photo got screwed up. I explained it in my first comment.

SSG -- Some things are better left alone.

DB -- Indeed he has an abundance of hair. I think the Hoff's chest hair is what powers the Hoff.

Cher -- Maybe the Hoff can be the next Mr. Miyagi and teach me how to be a karate kid.

Scarlett -- Your link isn't working.

SC -- Yes, the Hoff has his moments. And those rumors about KIT are true.

SD -- Welcome to the club.

PE -- No blog is complete without the Ponch.

Deshaun said...

Dude, I so needed this laugh today! Thanks! :-)

The Scarlett said...

That's funny ... the link works for me (both on my AOL and on my Comcast).
Here's the link:

http://www.post-literate.com/gerpunx/archives/hasselhoffian-recursion.gif

mrshife said...

DeShaun -- That is why I am here.

Scarlett -- I am at work, so they may have some filtering up.

Father of 3 said...

Europe loves this guy. You and Mrs. Shife are (were) the only Americans who agree. What, was Donnie Most busy?

meghansdiscontent said...

So scared.

nicole said...

This is the most hilarious piece of bloggery I've run across in a long time. Good job, Shife!

Oh, and hope your REAL Thanksgiving wasn't nearly this eventful.

meghansdiscontent said...

What ARE those puppies doing??

Scottish Toodler said...

LMAO!!! YOU ARE CRACKING MY FACE!! I read this aloud to the old man and we both laughed our asses off!!!!! GREAT POST!!!!! PS-- Yeah, are you smoking crack, though, btw????

tiggysmum70 said...

Those are great.... Interesting... very Interesting. The German dodge ball team would be jealous!

LOL

SugarHigh said...

OMG, that poor puppy!LMAO!!!!!!!!!!