Observations from the dumb, white guy

• Thanks to everyone who participated in the caption contest. Your prize is in the mail.
• The premiere of "Lost" was good, but dammit, now we have another mystery. Who the hell are you weird guy who lives in a bunker making smoothies and listening to '60s music?
• What the hell is going on with the weather? The good ol' U.S. of A must have some bad karma or God is just being a dick.
• My liver has just asked my body for a transfer. I just sent out a memo to all the big guys i.e. the liver, bladder, kidneys, penis, sphincter, etc. that it is going to be a long weekend. We have a bachelor party on Friday, a wedding Saturday afternoon and a football game Saturday night, and my wedding anniversary Sunday. Holy crap. I might be calling in sick on Monday.
• Fill up your cars cause it looks like gas prices are going to rise again.
• Bad news for "Arrested Development" fans, only 4.6 million viewers for the season premiere.
• So are there any new TV shows out there that are worth my time?
• "Battlestar Galatica" season finale tomorrow.
• For all of you who are affected by Rita please be safe.
• Another memo to ESPN: Please remove Barry Bond's penis from your ass.
• I feel like a virgin touched for the very first time.

The Dude: What's in the fuckin' carrier?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
The Dude: You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?
Walter Sobchak: What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude.
The Dude: Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself.