- I have not quite recovered from my failed foot modeling career.
- How this for frightening? You wake up one day and find out that your penis is gay. The rest of your body is straight but you get aroused by men instead of women now.
- Dane Cook is one funny dude.
- I am in the process of changing the design on my blog because I am not liking the current look.
- My liver is going to take a pounding for the next six weeks because I am going to hanging out with my wang out. Well, OK, I probably won't be doing that but I will be partying like a rock star.
This weekend: Wedding reception
Sept. 23: Bachelor party
Sept. 24: Wedding
Oct. 1: Wedding
Oct. 8: Wedding
Oct. 15: Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers concert in Mexico
Oct. 22: Road trip to University of Idaho to watch a football game
Oct. 29: Halloween weekend
Oct. 31: Concert featuring Cross Canadian Ragweed and Dierks Bentley
Nov. 1: Check into detox
- Season finale of "Rescue Me" tonight.
- Finally, I spent two hours on the phone last night canceling some credit cards. What part of no is so hard to comprehend? Here is how the scene plays out:
1) I call the 1-800 number and wait 10 minutes before I speak with a human but I am reminded every 60 seconds that my call is important to them.
2) I speak with human and after telling them all pertinent information to confirm that I am who I say I am and they ask how can they help me.
3) I tell them I want to cancel my card and then they tell me how sorry they are for losing me as a customer, but they must transfer me to another department that handles these requests.
4) So repeat step 1 and 2.
5) Human asks me why I am canceling and I tell them I am performing as JoJo the Indian Circus Boy with the local carnival and there is no need for credit cards when I am going to make a fortune as a circus performer.
6) apparently my reason is not good enough as the human gives me some really great reasons to continue my relationship with the credit card.
7) I politely decline and I guess declining only makes human more aggressive in pushing the benefits of credit card upon you.
8) Finally I say unless you can produce a monkey fucking a coconut in my backyard then I am going to cancel the credit card.
9) Human finally relinquishes and admits defeat. Victory is mine.
10) Wash hands and repeat as necessary.