Wednesday, September 14, 2005

More observations from the dumb, white guy

  • I gave my blog an extreme makeover and I have had only one complaint so I guess it is OK.
  • DucatiMike was one of my first blogging buddies, but he has been missing in action for almost a month. Please come back Mike, please.
  • Google added a cool new tool that lets you search all blogs with certain keywords.
  • I have been sent several e-mails today inquiring if I want to safely and permanently increase my penis size. Should I be worried?
  • Barry Bonds is back. I don't care and memo to ESPN, I don't need to be updated on his every at-bat.
  • Even the slowest boat gets across the river.
  • I am glad Bush has taken responsibility for the Katrina disaster. Now fix it. All these politicians need to quit pointing fingers and playing the blame game. I have an idea, be a revolutionary and proactive leader by just fixing the problems and then point out all the problems after the fact. I read somewhere that this is the Japanese philosophy. They fix the problem first, then figure out who to blame later. What a novel concept.
  • May all of your ups and downs be between the sheets.
  • Entrepreneurial idea: Man candles. Candles that smell like strip clubs, strippers, monster truck shows, garages, football games, keggers, etc.
  • Invention idea: Something that unblurs the blurs on TV. You know on a show like "Cops" where they blur out people's faces or nudity, well someone should invent a device where you can unblur that stuff.
  • Another invention idea: A telephone that comes equipped with a breathalyzer. If you blow over a 1.5, it won't work. It will save you from embarrassment and regret when you try to make those love calls at 3 in the morning to your junior high sweetheart because you are drunk, horny and lonely.
  • Great line to use on a buddy who thinks he is God's gift to everything -- I recognize that shirt from the I'm not having any sex catalog.

Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker!
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry!
Ron Burgundy: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!
Veronica Corningstone: Well you... have bad hair!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

what is the verdict on the season finale of rescue me?

mrshife said...

It was good. At least for me nothing unexpected happened. The real key will be how these characters rebound or recover from their losses. Will Tommy hit the bottle? Will Franco go psycho over losing Laura? Will Lou never trust anyone again? Will the Chief forgive himself? Will Proby and Garrity ever get a clue?
It will be interesting to see how it plays out next season.
Thank goodness Nip/Tuck starts next week so I am not too sad about waiting 6 months for Rescue Me.

Vince said...

i think i'm the worst drunk dialer of all time. the phone breathalyzer is a great idea.

i'm still undecided on the new layout...

Cindy said...

New layout is ok, gotta have a change now and then. Yep, I love my dogs,and it's hard to think about not having you bassett hound around later I'm sure, just enjoy the time you have with him/her. That's the only thing I wish I had done, was spend more time with my last dog.

sc said...

an invention to unblur the blur -- genius!

coloradohurricane said...

I don't know abiut the breathalyzer for the phone. I kinda enjoy making those really late phone calls.

How about potpourri for men ?

As for Barry Bonds- who cares ? Does anyone actually think his 700 home runs are anywhere as meaningful as when Babe Ruth or Hank Aaron did it ?

Sydney said...

I like the new look.