Thursday, August 25, 2005

Clearance sale -- Everything must go.

As summer starts to wind down, the proprietors in my brain have decided they need some space on the shelves for the fall collection. So I am unloading everything I can think of today to make some room. Enjoy.
  • College football starts in one week.
  • I have my fantasy football draft Saturday.
  • I would like to officially call toilet seat covers "ass sombreros" or "ass hats."
  • Running is overrated but it sure is better than being fat.
  • As my alloted TV watching time is of the essence, I going to only try out two new shows this fall and they are both on Fox, "Prison Break" and "Reunion."
  • I am really digging this new beer by Lagunitas.
  • You know how soliders paint targets with lasers so planes can drop bombs with pinpoint accuracy? Well somebody called in an air strike on my forehead last night because I woke up with a frikin' crater today baby.
  • F/X picks up "Rescue Me" for a third season. Very nice.
  • I'm pretty stoked about the third season of "Nip/Tuck."
  • My wife and I will be taking a trip to Mexico in October to see Roger Clyne and The Peacemakers and to celebrate our first year of marriage. Yeah Shifleys.
  • Do you want to put yourself in a bad mood? Drop a piece of furniture on the hood of your 2004 car. That should do it, I know it sent my blood pressure threw the roof.
  • Boycott Blockbuster and use Netflix.
  • Cable is for pussies. Get satellite.
  • You know the decals they put on football helmets if you make a good play? For example, Florida State players get those little tomahawks that they put all over their helmets. Well if I had to pick some pride decals for Quincy, my beloved basset hound, they would be sheep because that little round mound of hound has lulled my wife and I to sleep so many times. We call him the shut-eye master.
  • My wife and I are also planning to go to New Zealand in the fall of 2006. It is either going to be our last selfish act and we are going to start a family or we are going to hang out with my wang out.
  • Madden '06 is pretty effin' cool but I have yet to master the QB vision thing yet.
  • I wish I could go to the Corner Club in Moscow, ID for a tub. The best bar ever.
  • Our fearless leader, George W., visited our state yesterday. Just remember the first casualty of war is the truth.
  • Great Halloween outfit idea -- Fallopian Swim Team Captain. Wear a white shirt, white shorts, white swim cap and goggles.
  • Cross Canadian Ragweed is playing at a club in Boise for Halloween. That is not a bad way to spend the evening. I think I am going out as Fat Elvis again.
  • Always feed the kitty.
  • Classic line from "Chappelle's Show": Beat your dick like it owes you money.

4 comments:

mrshife said...

I get nothing for this. Come on this has to inspire somebody to want to comment.

Jon said...

I just woke up, you gotta give me a minute or two. First off, I'm jealous beyond all belief you're see Roger and the guys in Mexico; but I know you'll have a great time. Second, I agree, "ass hats" it is. And third, how would the kitty ever let you forget to feed it, at least with mine.

Christopher Trottier said...

I wonder when Chappelle is going back on the air.

coloradohurricane said...

hey, it's no fair ! you don't get any blog spam. you want me to send them your way ?

seriously, glad college football is almost here. always wondered what exactly an fsu player had to do to get a tomahawk ? do they ever take them away ? if say, a wr makes a spectacular pass early in the game, but drops the game winning pass, do they still say "here's your tomahawk"