8/20/26

Thought of the day


I am sure most of you have this marked on your calendar, but Jason Statham has a new movie coming out this weekend called Mutiny. As you can see from the list of movies below where he stars, the creative team clearly uses a roulette wheel: one half is a list of power verbs, and the other half is a local trade union directory. If it takes more than two syllables to say, it gets scrapped, so Statham has more time to scowl on the poster


At this point, doesn't it make sense to just start calling them Statham 1, Statham 2, etc or Statham 2026? 

As far as the plots go, they would fall under the "if it isn't broke, don't fix it" genre. Every Statham movie opens with him as a retired ghost-tier assassin—currently masquerading as a humble, sleepy ordinary blue-collar tradesman living in an abandoned warehouse of raw concrete and emotional wreckage—who just wants to drink black coffee and oil a single brass hinge in absolute solitude. The peace is immediately shattered when a syndicate of smug tech billionaires and neon-lit Euro-cartel oligarchs commit the fatal galactic error of mildly inconveniencing him by denting his vintage muscle car, scamming his sweet elderly neighbor or looking at him with excessive posture.


What follows is an unrelenting, cinematic war crime where Statham—radiating pure, diamond-cutting jawline fury in a bespoke bulletproof charcoal suit—personally dissolves an entire hemisphere's worth of criminal infrastructure using only a rusty fan belt and aggressive Cockney grunts. Four thousand heavily armed henchmen politely queue up one by one to have their skeletal systems converted into avant-garde origami, concluding only when Statham kicks a crooked billionaire directly into a revolving turbine, straightens his pristine collar without a single molecule of sweat appearing on his polished chrome dome. The credits roll, and we (and by we, I mean me, Mr. Shife) all agree to buy a ticket to watch him do the exact same thing next year as an artisanal cheesemaker.

And if you made your way through all of that silliness, your reward is this photo of Ms. Frizzle celebrating turning 10. She isn't as cooperative as the baby basset, so I added the hat after the photo was taken. 



Thanks for stopping by, and I will talk to you soon.

Meme dump





I will persevere.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream. 





Comments

  1. Awwwwww..... Happy Birthday Ms. Frizzle! You're beautiful!! 🥰

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  2. Your review of Jason Statham movies was spot on. Watching them is a guilty pleasure of mine too. I think it's because I grew up watching Batman, Superman, and Spiderman, and Jason's characters are kind of superheroes for adults. BTW, as a priest, I don't advocate vengeance. Anyway, happy birthday to Ms. Frizzle!

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  3. Ok, so between us, I thought Jason was on the DL for the longest time. He gave me closet case vibes. Then I realized it’s just that his acting ability is very limited to those descriptors. But he could get it. I like the strong and intense type.

    HBD Mis. Frizzle!!!

    XOXO

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  4. Happy birthday, Ms. Frizzle!

    I don’t think I have ever seen a HS movie, lol. I love your ending memes and haiku!

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  5. This review is more entertaining than most movies these days.

    So..... the key to a good haircut is knowing exactly when to stop the barber?

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  6. Jason Stathams ' new movie this time called.......... ! I find him to be kind of boring. That last meme killed me! I'd be nekkid and a mile away! Ms Frizzle doesn't look a day over 9.

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  7. Happy Birthday Ms. Frizzle! Since you're a dog you definitely don't have to worry about spiders in your bra, but the rest of us females do.

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