12/4/25

Thought of the day

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Pam was the kind of person who made me feel like I belonged from the very first moment. When I drove out to the farm in 1997 to pick up Mrs. Shife, I had no idea I was also meeting one of the biggest blessings of my life in my future mother-in-law. She welcomed me in, quietly at first, but with a warmth that never wavered. Over time, her home and her family became my home and my family, too.

She was a private, reserved woman, yet never afraid to speak her mind. I lean more liberal, and she was more conservative, so I would float one of my wild ideas and hear her say, “Oh, I don’t know about that, Matt.” Then she would share her thoughts, not to argue, but to understand and be understood. Those conversations taught me so much about listening with respect and leading with kindness, even when we did not see the world the same way.

Pam also shaped me in quieter, practical ways. She loved useful gifts, the kind that still make your life better 10 or 15 years later. I learned from her that generosity is not always flashy. It is the blanket that keeps you warm every night, the tool you reach for again and again, the small things that quietly say “I thought of you.”

When my own mom died in 2008, Pam stepped into a tender place in my life without ever trying to replace her. She would check in, encourage me and remind me how proud my mom would be of the husband, father and man I was becoming. Those simple words meant more than she probably ever knew.

Pam really blossomed as a grandmother. With ten grandchildren, including our two, Kyle and Hayden, she poured herself into “Grandma time.” She baked with them, read them bedtime stories, and always found a way to make birthdays and Christmas feel special. She did not just give them presents. She gave them memories, security and a deep sense of being loved.

In our early years as parents, she shared calm, steady wisdom with Mrs. Shife and me. She had raised great kids, and we trusted her advice. Pam never made a show of it, but she was always there when we needed her. The old jokes about difficult in-laws never applied to her. I was blessed far beyond anything I deserved with a mother-in-law who accepted me as I am, loved me in spite of my flaws, and, by her example, showed me the quiet strength of faith, family and love.

Pam’s time here felt far too short, and life will never be the same without her. But her legacy is everywhere, in the way Mrs. Shife mothers our kids, in the way our children laugh in her kitchen, in the way I think about gifts, faith and family.

Thank you, Pam, for welcoming me, for cheering me on, for loving my kids so well and for showing me what a loving mother, grandmother, and mother-in-law can be. I will miss hearing you say, “Oh, I don’t know about that, Matt,” and I will carry your love and lessons with me for the rest of my life.

I will persevere.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream.