Thoughts of the day
Who has two thumbs and had a birthday last week?
Happy birthday, Conan!!
I'm kidding.
It was me.
I am this guy.
I couldn't find a GIF of me so I settled on my favorite redhead from Massachusetts that hosts a podcast.
Anyway, I took some time off to celebrate the anniversary of my birth so that is why I didn't blog.
But I am back.
Older and wiser.
Probably not.
But I am back.
But I am back.
Older and wiser.
Probably not.
But I am back.
My children are my children so they got me this nice card to remind me of my advanced age:
They also got me a bidet as a birthday present.
They thought it was the perfect gift for an old man so I am not sure how to take it.
I also recently had a dream where I pooped my pants so maybe they know something I don't know.
But thanks to Google and because I want to have the most interesting search histories on my work computer, here are some details about soiling oneself during sleepy time:
If I had to play amateur dream analyst, I had the need to release.
I had an uncomfortable conversation with an adult who helps me out with Hayden's softball team.
She is a nice lady but we have different coaching philosophies and, since I am the head coach, I had to ask her to quit doing something that I didn't agree with.
Right now, it is fine but I am anticipating that I will get an email or text from her after the season is over telling me all of the things I did wrong.
Really looking forward to that.
At least I have a bidet that helps deal with my own shit.
Meme dump
Well, that is all for me today.
I hope you are well and I will talk to you soon.
I will persevere.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream.
Belated happy birthday, wishes Mr. Shife! I love the Elvis card. I'm still debating who I want to share my office with. Pickins are slim.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kelly! I am also a fan of Elvis so I thought it was a great card.
DeleteHappy Belated Birthday! Boy that choice for office mates is a tough one. Can I just work alone?
ReplyDeleteThank you, Peg. Working alone is always a good option.
DeleteI have never once dreamed of pooping my pants, Peeing, on the other hand, was a regular thing. I once dreamt of being Captain Kirk (circa 1983) manning the bridge . I had a sudden urge to pee in the captain's chair. As the chair began to turn into a toilet I was grateful to be able to relieve myself. That mattress was never the same .
ReplyDeleteI'm sharing my office with 100 year old Wallace. He'll probably sleep the whole time. So will I.
Ha. Funny story, Deedles. I will let Wallace know.
DeleteHappy Birthday! I hope it's many, many more years before you start pooping your pants. That parent, OH! There are so many these days. :( It's why coaches are nearly impossible to find. I'm curious about what she was doing. Radiohead is OK and I like old people, being one myself. NO HR person though! At my school district they were scary.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Margaret. I also hope the pooping of the pants is a long ways off. I might share more details about my assistant coach after the season is over.
DeleteThe majority of my dreams involve potty problems….cant find one, can’t find a clean one, no privacy, etc. I have no idea what that’s about. But happy belated birthday!
ReplyDeleteMy other potty dreams involved needing to find one but never doing the deed, Thanks, Bijoux.
DeleteHappy Belated Birthday! Love that Elvis card. And a bidet! What a thoughtful gift, LOL.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debra.
DeleteHappy belated birthday! I love the kids' card.
ReplyDeleteI have never dreamed of pooping my pants and I hope I never do ... though the idea iwll be floating around my brain!
Have a good weekend, sir.
Thanks, Bob!!
DeleteI would pick Wallace. I find that as I get older, old people are getting easier to get along with. Unless he's an old fart who watches nothing but Fox News. Hmmmm. I have a questionaire for Wallace. Second choice would be natural deodorant girl. Quite honestly, I am in a book club with some, and they don't smell any worse than anyone else.
ReplyDeleteIf you want a good laugh, right now, right this very minute, you need to google "Jordanluca pee stained jeans." If you do not do this, we cannot be friends. Sorry.
And your coaching assistant. I would politely thank her for her e-mail AND DO NOT READ IT! That is a perfectly valid response to uninvited advice, in my opinion. Which you did not ask for. So feel free to disregard this comment as well.
Except for the pee-stained jeans part. Do not disregard that.
Jordanluca pee stained jeans. Ha. Thank you for making my life more complete, Debby!
DeleteI do hope you did something fun on your birthday. I'd be looking forward to that email, too. I always fine that a good response is Hahaha, though if you want, you might want to break multiply it a bit with two Hahahas. Way to go John.
ReplyDeleteGood advice, Dave.
DeleteOh gees, PS, happy birthday. I got you a present. Unsolicited advice!
ReplyDeleteBest gift ever!! Thanks, Debby.
DeleteHappy birthday, Mr. Shife. It would be lovely to learn about that subordinate coaches' beef with you. Is she angling for head coach next year?
ReplyDeleteSomeday I might share, Joanne, and thank you.
DeleteShiloh only listens to Radiohead but is wearing a Gary Numan shirt?? (My question is: which Radiohead? Whether the era is before or after Ok Computer makes a big difference.)
ReplyDeleteExcellent point, Old Lurker.
DeleteHappy Birthday! I hate confrontation, and would have pooped my pants over an uncomfortable conversation with someone.
ReplyDeleteTY, KG!
DeleteHappy Belated Birthday Mr. Shife!
ReplyDeleteThank you, kden.
DeleteMaybe you did poop in your sleep and your loving family cleaned you up before you woke up. Hey, it could happen, maybe.
ReplyDeleteMaybe
DeleteI used to work with an old man named Wally. He was so follicly challenged, that he would comb the hair from his right sideburn up and over his head to the left sideburn. Once while walking behind him across a windy parking lot with the wind coming from the left, those hairs unfolded and were sticking to the right of his head by over a foot. I nearly peed and pooped my pants trying not to laugh.
ReplyDeletePoor Wally. Great story, Ed.
DeleteYay!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Mr. Shife!
If you are like me, you celebrate a birthday MONTH, so I'm right on time. Between us, birthdays do not make us wiser (that's a whole different mechanism) but it does make us happy when we are with those we love. Hope you had a great time (love the card!!).
And a bidet? You'll discover that you cannot live without it after a few weeks.
XOXO
TY, SP! I felt the love and I have been spoiled by the bidet.
DeleteHappy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteTY, MK!
DeleteHappy belated!
ReplyDeleteYour kids have a good sense of humor. That card made me smile.
They are funny kids, Bea.
DeleteHappy belated birthday. You're at least older even if not wiser. I loved your Fox News meme!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jeff.
DeleteMy link with Elvis? Sometimes I'm in a hurry to leave the house and I have to, uh, sit. Then I remind myself to slow down! Elvis died on the toilet!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday. Hope your ass is squeaky clean.
I like your Elvis link, Ami, and my tush is doing great.
Delete