Thought of the day
I was in a good mood driving home from my softball game yesterday.
Then it all shifted when I got to Casa de Shifley.
What happened?
I don't know how you process your feelings and emotions but sometimes it can take me a few hours before I realize why I am feeling how I am feeling.
It is beyond frustrating to me and I know it can drive Mrs. Shife bonkers because she will ask me what's wrong and I will tell her nothing and she will pretend to believe me.
But we have been together long enough that she knows I will tell her when I am ready because sometimes I just don't know why I have suddenly become grumpy.
On the way home from my game, I got a text from a softball buddy, who was on the other team that I played, and he told me I should have stopped by after the game because he had a beer for me.
I thought he knew that I quit drinking but no big deal.
I didn't want to get into it over a text so I just explained that I had to get home immediately.
Again, no biggie and, if the opportunity arises, I can tell him about my sobriety in person.
Then I get home and see Mrs. Shife in the backyard with her sister.
They are laughing, drinking wine, and enjoying a beautiful Idaho evening.
Then I got grumpy and was ready to go to bed.
Have you solved the mystery?
If you guessed, I hate my sister-in-law then you are not right.
I kid. My SIL is awesome.
It brought back some feelings about drinking and made me realize that I can't have that beer with my buddy and have a good time with him like Mrs. Shife was having with her sister.
I made the choice that alcohol is no longer an option for me and, I know, I am better off without it, but sometimes it is hard to accept your new reality.
I was surprised and not prepared for these feelings and emotions.
Sometimes I forget that they are always going to be there.
And that's OK because I can handle it.
It just might take me a little bit to figure it all out.
Meme dump
Thanks for stopping by and I will talk to you soon.
I will persevere.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream.
That is rough and I empathize with you. I feel as though I a lot of people either have really bad long-term memory or they just don't believe people who say they are sober. It would be uncomfortable to have to explain yourself every time alcohol is involved. However, I'm noticing a shift in this, as more and more bars are offering mocktails and NA beer. I just don't know if that's helpful or not to people who used to drink but now are refraining.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bijoux.
DeleteThat's a tough one. Good for you you for keeping at it until you figured out what was behind those feelings. In my opinion, it helps to have someone who understands an issue and can walk you through (i.e., a Sponsor if a 12-Step group is your thing.)
ReplyDeleteThe cat memes are so RIGHT ON!
TY KG!
DeleteMy BIL has been clean and sober for over 35 years and he was a tough case. Hang in there, buddy - I'm rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kelly.
DeleteI'm the same way, Matt. I have to process my feelings before I can actually name them or talk about them. Although you've made the right decision, it's hard to see others enjoying alcohol. Personally, I don't feel that alcohol enhances anything; I'm much more of a fan of coffee dates and conversations. However, I can say that because I do occasionally have a beer or two. I would hate to have to tell myself no on either one of those beverages but I would hope that I would make the same healthy choice that you have if I needed to.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Margaret
DeleteTough situation, but you figured it out. Like they say, one day/step/minute/second at a time.
ReplyDeleteAnd good on the missus for knowing you so well.
Thanks Bob!
DeleteI can understand the grumpiness, and I think that Mrs S will understand as well. But, as grumpy as you felt, you did not give in to it. That's awesome. I have said it before, and I will say it again. You are setting quite an example for your kids. 'Dadding' done right. Give your grumpy self a pat on the back.
ReplyDeleteThank you Debby
DeleteMy BIL has been sober for thirty or more years. My sister wouldn't marry him until. I bet Mrs. S likes you a lot more w/o alcohol. Bet the kids and the dogs do, too. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you Joanne
DeleteThat mood swing GIF is an awesome representation!
ReplyDeleteIt is a good one, Debra.
DeleteI fully and completely understand your grumpiness as I've been abstaining from alcohol since the end of 2015. My family still drinks, for the most part, and that's is mostly OK. However, occasionally, I, too, am stabbed with pangs of jealousy.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bea
DeleteThat is totally understandable to feel that way. It may never get easier and take awhile to process, but be proud that you made the best decision for yourself and your family. You had posted last week on my blog; just found it in the spam folder. That hasn't happened in a long time. I'll have to check more often.
ReplyDeleteThank you kden
DeleteStay true. I quit smoking and drinking at the same time and i could easily kill off a case of beer, or box of wine in an afternoon. Fortunately for me, I live alone, so I didn't have to deal with reminders. Talk about your feelings rather than keeping them pent up. And cats truly do that.
ReplyDeleteTY DR
DeleteI feel you.
ReplyDeletePeople in recovery are forever going through something like this because drinking alcohol is so normalized. Between us (and the internet) I don't drink and I'm not afraid to tell people 'no' when they offer. I know it's different for you because you used to enjoy it, but telling people 'no thanks' when they offer a drink is perfectly acceptable. You don't even have to explain anything.
Also, it's ok to feel nostalgic. Duh, it used to be fun, so you'll only remember the good times (like in any abusive relationship). I hope you did talk to Mrs. Shife, though. Sharing these things always help. I'm glad you did it here because we all are with you on this one....
XOXO
Thanks SIxpence
DeleteI'm glad that you were able to figure out what was making you have those feelings. It can be rough I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteTY MK
DeleteYou have my sympathy. You were dealt a bad hand when it comes to alcohol but like others have said, you made the right choice and are making the best of that hand. If I had to guess, I'm pretty sure the rest of your family considers you a winning hand right now!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ed
DeleteI get this. It's how I feel watching everyone eat pizza and burgers. I know you may not think so but it does get to me. (I'm celiac) While what you are doing is far more important my issues helps me to understand why you felt that way. And my husband would love if I would ponder - I'll vomit what is wrong. LOL
ReplyDeleteThank you Peg
DeleteI don't have anything helpful to say but I think you are awesome. One choice at a time. And maybe new friends if the old ones don't respect your choices.
ReplyDelete