WITWHYBMSP

Where In The World Have You Been Mr. Shife Poll? 

a) Relocated to Brazil to start my waxing internship. 

b) Re-relocated back to America. Turns out you don't have to move to South America to learn about Brazilian waxing. 

b) Drawing penises around potholes to get the city to fix them. 

c) Practicing my mariachi skills so I can start a rock cover band called Juan Jovi.

d) Trying to get financing for my off-off-off Broadway play, "You Are A Righteous Dude and Other Lies I Tell Myself."

e) Petitioning our governor to rename one of the state's lakes to Lake Polyester Cockwomble.

f) Researching equine artificial insemination facilities

g) Jazzercise instructor reunion

h) Stuck in a cave with a coked-up Servil cat 

i) Training Team Lucrizzle for the Iditarod 

j) Researching the pros and cons of being a mayonnaise farmer

k) Debating the most effective rectal route to curing hiccups on Reddit 

l) Waiting to hear back from the board if my research on the propulsion parameters of penguin poop has adequate inclusion/exclusion criteria

m) Thinking about hyphenating my last name to Galliono-Shifley or maybe Blazejowski-Shifley 

n) Nicolas Cage movie marathon 

o) Joined a cult

p) Ate Taco Bell 

q) Working a new line of fortune cookies with words of wisdom like don't lick the stripper pole. 

r) Still waiting to be discovered as America's next top foot model.

s) Celebrating 19 years of awesomeness with my wonderful and amazing wife, Mrs. Shife

t) Training thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds to toast Mr. Thurber this Thursday

u) This isn’t really me. I am concealing my identity because I am being followed. If you need to contact me, flip a coin into the sunlight and look north. I will be there

v) Searching worldwide for the right grapes for my Wine for Cats collection. I think I am really close to perfecting a Pinot Meow recipe.

w) Trying to find a new gym after getting kicked out of mine because I asked someone if I could work with them while they were on the stair climber.

x) Creating content for my newsletter, The Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy, and Stupid.

y) Recalculating my 401k over and over again to see if I can retire sooner than later. The outlook is not good unless I give up everything that brings me joy. 

z) COVID again. For those of you keeping track, I think this is the 7th time I have had it. This one feels like it is lingering forever and I have been sick the entire month of September. 

All kidding aside, I am not sure what is going on with me and blogging. 
It's been a month and to quote my good friend, Peter: 

And, to be honest, that sounds horrible because to me blogging has always been a relationship that you have to nurture and develop because you are blogging with other people so it sort of comes off as if I don't miss any of my wonderful blogging friends. 
I miss the camaraderie and interactions but I don't miss the blogging process if that makes any sense at all.
I really felt like I had just been going through the motions lately when I was blogging. 
I also have been busy with work and trying to be a better husband, father, and dude. 
We also have Kyle and Hayden's sports schedule which is 6 days a week until the end of October.
We signed up for this so I am not looking for sympathy but a typical day has us on the move until 8 pm on some nights so my blogging motivation is non-existent when I get home. 
I have also started to share stuff with Mrs. Shife that I would normally put on my blog.
I know I should be doing that anyway but I come from a long line of folks that like to self-medicate with booze and alcohol instead of discussing things. 

We jokingly have said that our family motto is "I don't want to talk about it." 
But this path I have been on for the past 11 months has started to change me in a good way. 

I am opening myself up more to her and others.

I am actually engaging in conversations and enjoying the process instead of worried about insecure.

It's quite bizarre because this is not the dude I have been for most of my adult life. 

So I honestly don't know what my plan is with my blog. 

I appreciate each and every one of you who has stopped by to visit and I am grateful that this thing I started in 2005 is still around. 

I hope you are well and I look forward to swinging by your blog to say hello.

Hopefully, after things get a little less busy, I can get back to blogging more.

Take care. 

I will persevere.

I will keep moving forward.

I will be the stream.