Where In The World Have You Been Mr. Shife Poll?
a) Relocated to Brazil to start my waxing internship.
b) Re-relocated back to America. Turns out you don't have to move to South America to learn about Brazilian waxing.
b) Drawing penises around potholes to get the city to fix them.
c) Practicing my mariachi skills so I can start a rock cover band called Juan Jovi.
d) Trying to get financing for my off-off-off Broadway play, "You Are A Righteous Dude and Other Lies I Tell Myself."
e) Petitioning our governor to rename one of the state's lakes to Lake Polyester Cockwomble.
f) Researching equine artificial insemination facilities
g) Jazzercise instructor reunion
h) Stuck in a cave with a coked-up Servil cat
i) Training Team Lucrizzle for the Iditarod
j) Researching the pros and cons of being a mayonnaise farmer
k) Debating the most effective rectal route to curing hiccups on Reddit
l) Waiting to hear back from the board if my research on the propulsion parameters of penguin poop has adequate inclusion/exclusion criteria
m) Thinking about hyphenating my last name to Galliono-Shifley or maybe Blazejowski-Shifley
n) Nicolas Cage movie marathon
o) Joined a cult
p) Ate Taco Bell
q) Working a new line of fortune cookies with words of wisdom like don't lick the stripper pole.
r) Still waiting to be discovered as America's next top foot model.
s) Celebrating 19 years of awesomeness with my wonderful and amazing wife, Mrs. Shife
u) This isn’t really me. I am concealing my identity because I am being followed. If you need to contact me, flip a coin into the sunlight and look north. I will be there
v) Searching worldwide for the right grapes for my Wine for Cats collection. I think I am really close to perfecting a Pinot Meow recipe.
w) Trying to find a new gym after getting kicked out of mine because I asked someone if I could work with them while they were on the stair climber.
x) Creating content for my newsletter, The Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy, and Stupid.
y) Recalculating my 401k over and over again to see if I can retire sooner than later. The outlook is not good unless I give up everything that brings me joy.
z) COVID again. For those of you keeping track, I think this is the 7th time I have had it. This one feels like it is lingering forever and I have been sick the entire month of September.
All kidding aside, I am not sure what is going on with me and blogging.
It's been a month and to quote my good friend, Peter:
I miss the camaraderie and interactions but I don't miss the blogging process if that makes any sense at all.
I really felt like I had just been going through the motions lately when I was blogging.
I also have been busy with work and trying to be a better husband, father, and dude.
We also have Kyle and Hayden's sports schedule which is 6 days a week until the end of October.
We signed up for this so I am not looking for sympathy but a typical day has us on the move until 8 pm on some nights so my blogging motivation is non-existent when I get home.
I have also started to share stuff with Mrs. Shife that I would normally put on my blog.
I know I should be doing that anyway but I come from a long line of folks that like to self-medicate with booze and alcohol instead of discussing things.
But this path I have been on for the past 11 months has started to change me in a good way.