Basset Bedlam


Bedlam is probably a bit of a stretch but I am a big fan of alliteration and my feelings are more important than the facts right now. 
Recently, I got the opportunity to chase my basset hound around an elementary school yard while more than 60 second-graders* were having recess. 


This is the view I had of Lucy most of the time

It left quite an impression and it wouldn't be right if I didn't share my adventures with you, my wonderful blogging friends. 

Our backyard backs up to a large elementary school yard. 
And it has turned out to be quite a nice relationship for us because when we open our gate during non-school hours, there is a whole lot of square footage for the entire Shifley family to enjoy.

Ms. Lucy has made this relationship a little more difficult recently because she thinks kids are cool and wants to tell them all about it so she sits at the gate and talks to them. 

Her barks didn't fall on deaf ears as one kiddo took the bait. They saw the gate as an obstacle to their budding relationship so they squeezed their hands between the wood slabs and unlocked it. 

We have lived in this house for more than 18 years with the same gate and the same locking mechanism and never had any issues with the kids opening up the gate and releasing the dogs. 

But, since we now live in 50 Shades of Crazy because we have a puppy, every day is an adventure. However, I was still quite surprised when I went to the backyard to check on Lucy and saw the gate open. 

As I headed towards the gate, I cemented my status in the profanity hall of fame with a couple of curse-word combos that came flying out of my mouth.


And there she was. 
A 35-pound basset hound puppy zigging and zagging to avoid the capture of multiple children aged 7-8. There were shouts of "Don't chase the dog!" from the recess monitors but that seemed to get translated to "Everyone chase the dog!" as more and more kiddos joined the hunt for the hound.

I attempted to get Lucy's attention but she shook me off faster than Nuke LaLoosh getting the fastball sign from Crash Davis

I saw few options so I joined the chase and tried to convince Lucy that I'm way more fun than all of these hyper second graders with week-old cookie crumbs in their pockets. 
She declined and the pursuit continued. 

While I lacked the energy of a second-grader, I made up for it in resourcefulness.
I was able to distract them when I mentioned the recess monitors might be in possession of birthday cake. 
Soon it was just me and the hound.

I pleaded and begged Lucy to come home but she tilted her head as to say "Not today, dream squasher!"
I dove after her but she was too quick.
I played dead but our relationship isn't at that level where she cares that much about my well-being yet.
I pretended to sprint home yelling her name in an excited tone but she heard the deception in my voice.

But then the school bell rang and all of the kids started heading back to their classrooms. 
The noise and activity were enough of a distraction that I was able to scoop her up and ending our intense 20-minute hostage negotiation. 
It was finally over.
I held Lucy in my arms and headed home. 
Looking at her cute puppy face, I told her about my good buddy Roger Murtaugh and reminded her that: 



*The reason I knew what grade they were in is because when I told Hayden what time this happened she told that is when the second-graders have recess. 

Thanks for stopping by, hope your week is treating you well and I will talk to you soon.

I will persevere.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream.

Comments

  1. oh man..I wish we had a video of that..hahahhahaahh

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  2. Oh my goodness. This was the best post EVER!!!! I laughed myself stupid. (Admittedly, not a far stretch, being sleep deprived). Whatever did you do for entertainment before Lucy?

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    1. Not sure, Debby, but it seems pretty boring before she came along.

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  3. I swear having a dog is good for exercise in the most unexpected ways. :-)

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  4. And which little "angel" unlocked the gate for the puppy. That would be my nagging question and the target of my curses.

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    1. Not sure but we have been keeping an eye out for that one

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  5. And you didn't think to set up your camera on top of the fence and capture all the action?!

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  6. I guess it's true -- dogs DO make their owners get more exercise!

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  7. I would have loved to see a video of that! "Dog Outsmarts Man." or "Creative Cursing--by Matt."

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    1. Sound like excellent chapters of the book I might write when I am retired

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  8. Two words: dog treats. Though, they may not have worked with all of those children jumping around in their little hooves.

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    1. I don't think a fully-cooked turkey would have worked on Lucy with all those kids around

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  9. Sounds like that was your workout for the week!

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  10. Loose-y Lucy! (I'll get my coat...)

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  11. Oh, these twenty minutes were better than Top Gun 2.
    And you mentioned cake to kids? Brilliant mind.

    XOXO

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  12. Anonymous1/27/2023

    HuntleyBiGuy:
    Hounds have no loyalty. They’re all about the adventure. When my Beagle got loose my heart stopped and then the chase began. The nose knows what it wants to do.

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    1. Hi HuntleyBiGuy. That sniffer does lead to a lot of troublemaking.

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  13. What a great story and fun time it must have been (for an observer)! You probably made the monitor's day.

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  14. I'm too old for this shit...lol I say that at least once a week. That is too funny. Now that they know how to open the lock, you might need a new one.

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    1. We have modified the gate once again and hope it can hold off those kiddos

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  15. Ha ha! That must have been hilarious to see and sounds like the kids enjoyed their little break from the norm! Might want to lock that gate now I imagine!

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    1. A padlock has been added to the gate

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  16. This is hilarious from anyone's vantage point except yours, and for that I am sorry :) So, I have questions. Was there really a birthday cake? How many days did it take for you to recover? What kind of modification have you made to the lock on the gate? Because you KNOW those kids are going to want a repeat performance. lol

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    1. No cake but I needed to distract the little ones and I knew they would fall for it, jenny_o. Not much recovery time physically but mentally is a different story. We know have a padlock on there and it gets locked when Hayden goes to school. Not taking anymore chances.

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  17. Sounds like a good way to get exercise :)

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    1. Lucy might be an aerobics instructor in a previous life

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  18. Haha I wish I'd seen this, it would have made a great Youtube clip. :D

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    1. I imagine it brought some strangers some joy

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  19. Love how the kids all "helped" with the chase and their interpretation of "don't chase the dog" got translated into "help Mr. Shife".

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